# "I'd like to order a glory hole." Damn, malaprops! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 8, 2008, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664 "2008-01-08T00:05:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/1 "2008-01-08T00:05:25Z")
I _knew_ this would happen. A couple months ago, Fianceephone and I were out for brunch and we spontaneously ordered mimosas: champagne and orange juice. “What’s the other name for this?” She asked. “Glory… something.” “Morning glory.” I answered. “Oh, good. I was just about to say ‘glory hole’ and I knew _that_ wasn’t right.” “Arrrrrgh!” I yelped. “You know what this means, don’t you? Now I’m going to get that stuck in my head and if I ever forget to order a ‘mimosa’, I’m going to say ‘glory hole’! Thanks. Thanks a lot!” Sure enough. We went out to brunch yesterday with her mom. Guess what I ordered? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/2 "2008-01-08T00:16:24Z")
Well? Did you get what you ordered, or what you wanted? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/3 "2008-01-08T00:16:50Z")
I thought ‘morning glory’, mongst other meanings, was a euphemism for an erection. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/4 "2008-01-08T00:35:33Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] Well? Did you get what you ordered, or what you wanted? [/QUOTE] I got the champagne and orange juice with a side order of public humiliation. And FTR, I think technically a Morning Glory also has triple sec. ---
**Author:** ![ShermanAter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ShermanAter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShermanAter)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/5 "2008-01-08T00:40:48Z")
Mangetout said: “I thought ‘morning glory’, mongst other meanings, was a euphemism for an erection.” The above reminds me of one time when I was playing on a softball team. We played against a team named A.M. Lumber. After the game, we were having beers in the parking lot and I asked one of their players “Where the hell is A.M. Lumber?” I was sure I knew every lumber yard in town and I’d never heard of that one. (Woosh) Well everybody had a good laugh at my expense. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/6 "2008-01-08T00:53:28Z")
[QUOTE=ShermanAter] “Where the hell is A.M. Lumber?” [/QUOTE] Next door to the Morningwood Apartments. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/7 "2008-01-08T01:32:24Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] Well? Did you get what you ordered, or what you wanted? [/QUOTE] And your MIL…Did she have what you were having? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/8 "2008-01-08T04:09:37Z")
[QUOTE=Swallowed My Cellphone] I _knew_ this would happen. A couple months ago, Fianceephone and I were out for brunch and we spontaneously ordered mimosas: champagne and orange juice. “What’s the other name for this?” She asked. ? [/QUOTE] [buck’s fizz](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buck%27s_Fizz_%28cocktail%29), of course. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/9 "2008-01-08T09:00:09Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] I thought ‘morning glory’, mongst other meanings, was a euphemism for an erection. [/QUOTE] No. “Morning wood” is an erection. **Morning glory** is when you get to do something about it 😉 Si ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/10 "2008-01-08T13:12:49Z")
We were at Friendly’s Sunday. They have an ice cream special called The Happy Ending. And this is a kid-friendly place, too. I ordered Happy Endings all around. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/11 "2008-01-08T13:17:24Z")
[QUOTE=Count Blucher] And your MIL…Did she have what you were having? 😃 [/QUOTE] Oh, yes, she dealt with my faux pas with such aplomb (she’s very good at disguising such things and pretending she didn’t notice your gaffe). When I ordered the “glory hole” she said. “That sounds like a good idea… I’ll have a mimosa too.” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/12 "2008-01-08T13:19:09Z")
> [@](#): > > “Arrrrrgh!” I yelped. “You know what this means, don’t you? Now I’m going to get that stuck in my head and if I ever forget to order a ‘mimosa’, I’m going to say ‘glory hole’! Thanks. Thanks a lot!” You’ll never get into the Turtles with a dirty mind like that. **Glory Hole** : > **[Underground hard-rock mining](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glory_hole_%28mining%29)** > > Underground hard-rock mining refers to various underground mining techniques used to excavate "hard" minerals, usually those containing metals, such as ore containing gold, silver, iron, copper, zinc, nickel, tin, and lead. It also involves the same techniques used to excavate ores of gems, such as diamonds and rubies. Soft-rock mining refers to the excavation of softer minerals, such as salt, coal, and oil sands. > Accessing underground ore can be achieved via a decline (ramp), inclined vertical ... > **[Glory hole (petroleum production)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glory_hole_%28petroleum_production%29)** > > A glory hole in the context of the offshore petroleum industry is an excavation into the sea floor designed to protect the wellhead equipment installed at the surface of a petroleum well from icebergs or pack ice. An economically attractive alternative for exploiting offshore petroleum resources is a floating platform; however, ice can pose a serious hazard to this solution. While floating platforms can be built to withstand ice loading up to a design threshold, for the largest icebergs or the ... and: [Glory hole - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glory_hole) > [@](#): > > A trench in trench warfare > A colloquial term for any small room or cupboard, usually containing odds and ends > A glassblowing term for an opening in a furnace, or a stand alone furnace, which is used to reheat the molten glass as it is formed > Spillway in which a cement funnel is used to drain excess water over a certain level from a reservoir, usually behind a dam > A small compartment fore or aft of the main engine room in a ship, usually contains access to steering or output shaft gear. > A fictional Theme park in the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas that is often advertised on the radio. The name is taken from the sexual meaning of “glory hole.” > A Christian Bookshop in Kinghorn,Fife,Scotland. Who can tell what possessed them! ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/13 "2008-01-08T13:38:40Z")
My example doesn’t quite rise to the level of “glory hole”, but I did once order some “mozzarella chicks”. The waiter said he’d see what he could do. ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/14 "2008-01-08T15:54:12Z")
We were out for dinner with another couple. We all ordered our drinks and my friend told the waitress he wanted a Rusty Trombone. She gave him a :dubious: look and said, “Well, I don’t think I can give you one of those. How about a Rusty Nail instead?” He turned five shades of red, I was trying my damndest to not laugh out loud and our wives had very confused looks. After dinner I told her what a Rusty Trombone was and she looked like she was going to throw up. BTW, check out [this video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0C73yHFXdsQ) **NSFW** and see how many sexual acts you can name. I laughed my ass off when I saw it and my wife was totally lost. I explained some of the terms to her (and even offered to demonstrate some of them) and got a lot of :eek: looks. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2008, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-like-to-order-a-glory-hole-damn-malaprops/432664/15 "2008-01-08T16:04:16Z")
Okay, for this one there’s no “clean” alternative. All the references I can find are either the slang term for the act, or are derived from or refer to it. And yer classic Trombone is brass, which don’t rust.