# I'd NEVER pay for sex, but if \[insert celebrity name here\] was available, that'd change! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 3, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850 "2010-12-03T19:58:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/21 "2010-12-04T20:49:24Z")
> [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](#): > > And what makes you think women don’t pay also? We do - just different currency. :rolleyes: Sorry to hijack, but what currency do women use to pay for sex? I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just curious about the way you put this what you’re referring to. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2010, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/22 "2010-12-04T22:27:18Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Rachel Weisz > > but what’s wrong with paying for sex? Is charity sex somehow better? Nothing. Everyone knows it’s sometimes better to rent than to own. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2010, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/23 "2010-12-04T23:36:21Z")
> [@cuauhtemoc](#): > > Sorry to hijack, but what currency do women use to pay for sex? I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just curious about the way you put this what you’re referring to. Laundry. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/24 "2010-12-05T02:25:27Z")
How much would I have to pay to get Maggie Cheung to, uh, do my laundry? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/25 "2010-12-05T14:39:59Z")
I need to change my answer. Its No. The reasons don’t matter really, I’ll spoiler box them, becausethey would probably ruin the spirit of the thread. It may be something I have to say, but its nothing you have to read… so please skip. My answer is No. Yes, I’m married & have kids. Yes, I have more F’d up baggage the Newark Airport. Those are obvious reasons, but there are two other reasons that aren’t as obvious. 1. I’m an ugly man. Thats genetics. But that’s outside, not inside. I’m no ‘John’. I’d be more disgusting and disease-ridden than a used condom found by a swing in a playground if I was. Sex for me just isn’t that sort of transaction. Sure, its fun to think about, but what makes it so fun for me, when I look at it closely, is the emotional commitment that someone would be as much ‘in-to’ me as I am ‘in-to’ them. Thats what I enjoy… and maybe that makes me a Freak… but it is what it is. 2. So now a woman that I might fancy & find attractive… now she’s just a whore? That the only thing she’d ever be into about me… the Only thing that would make her think, “You know, that just Might be fun. Hmmm…” is money left on a nightstand? Not only does it make me a creepy ‘John’, now she’s a creepy whore? Wo-oooow. So, years of putting up with sh-t to do what she wanted to do instead of caving for a ‘real job’… she just wipes here rear with that. So working at crappy jobs, running to calls, trying to put 8x10s of her headshot in some A-holes face while he’s walking…that was so she could be a whore? So sleeping in a crappy lumpy bed in a rattling old Lysol-smell trailer to be ‘on location’, waking up to someone banging on the door and nearly screaming " Now is the winter of our discontent Made glorious summer by this Son of a B-tch! I’ll Never remember these Lines!!!" All that was just a lovely prelude to whoredom…? Because, if she was ‘in-to’ me that way, she’d find a way to let me know. And I’d know about it. Reality Check for my ugly disgusting ass: She’s NOT. Oh, what a prize for me to win; the most beautiful woman I could ever imagine & have never seen … being there because she has to be and not because she wants to. Just to pocket a check and drink cheap whiskey after to get the memory of me out of her skull. Pimped out by a REAL whole, some POS agent, with his/her hand out before she even had a chance to hot shower to forget, looking for the 10%. ---
**Author:** ![SecretaryofEvil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@SecretaryofEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecretaryofEvil)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/26 "2010-12-05T19:51:10Z")
Count Blucher… what the hell are you talking about? ---
**Author:** ![SecretaryofEvil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@SecretaryofEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecretaryofEvil)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/27 "2010-12-05T20:06:50Z")
never mind ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/28 "2010-12-05T21:25:28Z")
Well, I would pay Helen Hunt to iron my shirt or slip her a Benjamin to stay quiet if I had to be around her for more than a day but never for sex because that isn’t happening. I am not sure how much she would have to pay me for that. Men’s taste certainly vary. Julia Roberts and J Lo would also only be eligible to receive money stay far, far away. There is a bunch of them I would pay for sex with. How much are we talking here? I would have to break it down by price tier, set a budget, and make the most of it. I would write a 20K check tonight and leave it on my dresser if Cameron Dias, Christina Applegate, or Kate Winslet came over for an hour and really tried while being themselves. That isn’t that much money to them so I can’t see that happening. The only higher money would go to somebody who seems mostly untouchable like Natalie Portman. The few thousand dollar and hour range picks up too many to list. I like the very pretty, smart and funny ones with a touch of evil but no kinky stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/29 "2010-12-05T22:07:57Z")
I would and have paid for sex so I guess I can’t play this game. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/30 "2010-12-06T04:05:42Z")
Denise Richards Neve Campbell Erica Eleniak, hot version Sofia Vergara, now Jenny McCarthy, then and, since 1979, Christie Brinkley. She marries everyone she meets, so she’ll get to me eventually my wife says… ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/31 "2010-12-06T04:29:07Z")
Today it’s Katy Perry. Saw one of her videos earlier and…damn. Does it for me. Subject to change tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/32 "2010-12-06T04:39:08Z")
Jane Seymour circa 1973. Or Ursula Andress circa 1963. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/33 "2010-12-06T04:45:44Z")
I would pay almost any of the mentioned women for sex, but I can’t imagine that I could afford them. Is there some kind of Federal subsidy available? This is one entitlement that I could get behind. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/34 "2010-12-06T04:47:58Z")
[Alexander Skarsgard](http://www.trueblood-online.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/in_bed_with_alex_skarsgard.jpg) [Jonathan Rhys Meyers](http://www.dlisted.com/files/DETAILS-HOLIDAY-2007-COVER-.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/35 "2010-12-06T04:52:44Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I would pay almost any of the mentioned women for sex, but I can’t imagine that I could afford them. Is there some kind of Federal subsidy available? This is one entitlement that I could get behind. No, but there’s a layaway plan. The best part is that the cost comes down significantly over time. I mean, when they’re 50, you can probably do them for free. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/36 "2010-12-06T07:05:17Z")
Ooh, if I could get a freebie from a woman celebrity over 50, I’ll take the first available one of [these](http://www.zimbio.com/The+50+Sexiest+Women+Over+50). As a preference, Queen Noor of Jordan. Fucking royalty would add a bit of spice to it. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/37 "2010-12-06T07:21:55Z")
[Chris Jansing](http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&source=imghp&biw=1238&bih=709&q=chris+jansing), MSNBC’s 53yo news hottie, once auctioned off lunch with herself on eBay, proceeds to go to charity. Now if we could work out an exchange whereby we both volunteer our time - say 40 hours of mine for a night of hers… ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/38 "2010-12-06T07:27:53Z")
Bea Arthur, or possibly Henry Kissinger. He has nicer legs than Hitler, and bigger tits than Cher! …or so Monty Python has told me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/39 "2010-12-06T07:45:39Z")
Megan Fox. I wouldn’t want the rest once I knew for a fact they were whores. For some reason she wants me to believe she’s a whore, so nothing would be spoiled. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850/40 "2010-12-06T08:17:16Z")
There’s not a single celebrity who appeals to me more than many of my friends - attractive, sexy women who are fun to hang out with and might even actually sleep with me! For free! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/id-never-pay-for-sex-but-if-insert-celebrity-name-here-was-available-thatd-change/562850.md?page=3)