# Ideas For Great Opening Lines That You've Had **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 4, 2005, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344 "2005-05-04T09:03:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/1 "2005-05-04T09:03:26Z")
Every now and then, a phrase will pop into my head and I’ll think, “Man! That would be a great opening line for a novel or something.” but I won’t have any idea of what _to do_ with it. You know, the line will just sit there in my head or on the page, and I can’t come up with anything to come after it, so I thought I’d start a thread where we could all share ideas for opening lines that we couldn’t think of what comes next. Maybe somebody out there will be able to use it to come up with something, or they’ll post something that’ll help us come up for something for it. The one I had tonight was: > [@](#): > > I reek of cat shit and old women. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/2 "2005-05-04T14:33:17Z")
Fred was having a very bad day. It didn’t get any better when his ex-girlfriend ran him down in her car on Maple Street, and then backed over him. Slowly. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/3 "2005-05-04T14:40:21Z")
“Final boarding call for flight 651 to Phoenix.” Phoenix. Godamn, do I hate Phoenix. ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/4 "2005-05-04T14:52:02Z")
“I knew she was dead even before I walked down the alley for a closer look.” ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/5 "2005-05-04T15:08:04Z")
“It was a dark and stormy night.” ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/6 "2005-05-04T15:09:35Z")
“The forest around her was completley silent. That was very bad.” Alternately “Jack walked onto the command deck, ominously chewing on an oatmeal cookie.” ---
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/7 "2005-05-04T15:24:34Z")
“Eccentrica Gallumbits was feeling very perky that morning.” Yes, I once intended to write a Hitchhiker spinoff. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/8 "2005-05-04T15:29:42Z")
"The old man looked away from his reflection. Once upon a time, he had laughed in the face of Death. Now he couldn’t even look at it in the mirror." OK, so it’s more than a line. It’s still an opening, and someday I mean to write something after it. ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/9 "2005-05-04T16:13:11Z")
“Any other God would have worn underwear…” ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/10 "2005-05-04T21:47:06Z")
“As the sun set slowly in the east, so stood Jacob standing there, wondering why the sun was setting in the east.” Whenever I write anything, it’s something stupid. Stupid but entertaining. If I ever do add on to it, I’d say something like, “Maybe it was rising, or he was facing the wrong direction. He couldn’t be too sure.” ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/11 "2005-05-04T21:59:51Z")
“The End.” ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/12 "2005-05-04T22:08:21Z")
Three openings, all free to any good home. * * * Lena’s problem was this: how to ensure anyone browsing the opening to her novel (as you are) would definitely want to buy it. She found the answer, which was - somewhere between pages 51 and 83 - include the one thing no reader, no matter how smart, no matter how brilliant, no matter how experienced, could possibly expect to find. * * * Gazebo. Aorta. Pterodactyl. Looking back, Jim found it amazing to think that those three words, or rather an anagram formed from them, contained both the name of a famous person _and_ a devastating secret about their fame. * * * One by one, the dawning realistations. Gagged. Blindfolded. Unable to move, all limbs securely tied or chained somehow. No familiar sounds, no sense of where he was, or how he got there. Numbed, confused. “Good morning Peter,” came the stranger’s voice. “You may wonder where you are, and why you are here. I am happy to explain.” The voice leaned closer. “Where? Miles from anywhere. Why? To suffer pain. More pain than you would have thought possible. I know this, because I brought you here. And I will be inflicting the pain.” ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/13 "2005-05-05T19:02:01Z")
> [@Quercus](#): > > “It was a dark and stormy night.” It was a bright and cloudless day. He knew that meant trouble. As Jim huddled in the corner of the padded cell he reflected that the whole thing had started when he had tried to discover what the third english word ending in gry was and how to stop writing run on sentences. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Unkempt\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Unkempt\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Unkempt_One)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/14 "2005-05-05T19:25:44Z")
My name is Cecil Adams. These are my stories. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/15 "2005-05-05T19:28:14Z")
I have to steal a joke from Dave Barry for this: “Later, it occurred to Steve: The Oval Office doesn’t HAVE corners.” ---
**Author:** ![wayward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a87d85/32.png) [@wayward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wayward)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/16 "2005-05-05T21:04:25Z")
> [@ianzin](#): > > One by one, the dawning realistations. Gagged. Blindfolded. Unable to move, all limbs securely tied or chained somehow. No familiar sounds, no sense of where he was, or how he got there. Numbed, confused. > > “Good morning Peter,” came the stranger’s voice. “You may wonder where you are, and why you are here. I am happy to explain.” The voice leaned closer. “Where? Miles from anywhere. Why? To suffer pain. More pain than you would have thought possible. I know this, because I brought you here. And I will be inflicting the pain.” Isn’t that pretty much the premise of _Saw_? My own: “I was Godzilla, and I had found my Tokyo” ---
**Author:** ![N.Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f19dbf/32.png) [@N.Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N.Sane)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/17 "2005-05-06T01:35:45Z")
“Well met by sunlight, friend Miller!” ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/18 "2005-05-06T01:54:50Z")
“His skull had ten more seconds to exist in the uncrushed state.” ---
**Author:** ![jweb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@jweb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jweb)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/19 "2005-05-06T02:09:49Z")
No thread like this would be complete without a link to the [Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest](http://www2.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2004.htm). Ok, maybe these opening lines in the link above aren’t exactly ‘great’, but they are funny. ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344/20 "2005-05-12T01:20:58Z")
Bananas don’t walk. And yet… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ideas-for-great-opening-lines-that-youve-had/302344.md?page=2)