# Identical twins you've known-truly identical, or radically different **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 4, 2014, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278 "2014-12-04T01:51:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/21 "2014-12-04T17:53:15Z")
One of my brothers has twin 18-year old boys and one has 11-year old twin girls. Their personalities are markedly different. In both cases, one sibling is far more extroverted, outgoing and confident than the other. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/22 "2014-12-04T18:27:36Z")
I’ve known two sets of identical twins in my life. One set of brothers, contemporaries of mine. One is gay, the other isn’t. Who knows what that means for the nature-vs.-nurture debate. The other are my mother’s brothers. They are (or were – one died some years back) a case study in the effect of environmental factors. One drank heavily, smoked and lived a unhealthy life (which, I have to say, looked like a lot of fun). He died of cirrhosis maybe ten or twelve years ago. The other is perfectly healthy and active and very much involved in everything (although retired). He’s 82 now, and could pass for 70 easily. He always lived a health-conscious life, didn’t drink much, didn’t smoke, spent his nights at home with his family. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/23 "2014-12-04T18:56:41Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I dated an identical twin for 5 years. While they were very similar in their values, likes and dislikes there was a huge dichotomy in their gregariousness and personalities. One was far more dominant and opinionated, etc. > > I will say the bond twins have with each other is unique and may possibly present a problem, a challenge to someone that develops a serious relationship with them. I think the twin that I dated and I could have gotton married if that had not been in play. That won’t always be the case of course and there were additional concerns (loss of a father) when they were young but it was undeniable for us and I don’t think either one of them, despite being stunningly beautiful, ever married. This is interesting. Can you be more specific about what the challenges were? Like was it hard to get time alone with your twin without the other one intruding? Did they have secrets or inside jokes they didn’t let you in on? ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/24 "2014-12-04T19:45:27Z")
I’ve casually known a few sets of twins, and the ones I knew stuck together like glue and acted very much the same, from my casual friend distance (and not being a particularly keen social observer). But in high school I knew a set of twins guys. For the first three years I didn’t know them well and couldn’t tell them apart. Then as a senior I dated a girl in the same crowd as their girlfriends and saw a lot of them, and got to the point where I could easily tell them apart, and thought it odd that I couldn’t before. They had different personalities, one being more outspoken and appearing more motivated than the other, but their mannerisms and expressions were so similar that their differences in personality were harder to spot. That is, they seemed to act the same even when they weren’t acting the same. Later on that year I didn’t see them much, and lost the ability to tell them apart. They went different directions after school; one went to UMich where I went. I bumped into him once and he gave me hell for not warning him about Michigan weather (high school was in FL). I laughed, saying the summers were great, but evidently he went home for those. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/25 "2014-12-04T19:54:02Z")
I was friends with a pair of identical twins in school. One is straight and the other lesbian. An aunt by marriage is an identical twin. When I was a small child, I couldn’t tell them apart and just called the both _Aunt_. They worked together in the dime store in their small town for years. Now in their eighties, they still dress alike and spend time together every day. Bonus round: My aunt has identical twin grandsons (mirror image) and identical twin great granddaughters. Her twin has identical twin great grandsons. My aunt has only one bio-kid who has children and the twin g-kids and gg-kids come from her line. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/26 "2014-12-04T19:57:02Z")
I grew up with identical brothers; one was (and still is) gregarious and cheerful, while the other was (and is) morose. In the high school yearbook, one is smiling and the other looks suicidal. There was also a set of identical triplet girls in the same school. I won’t swear that they were monozygotic, since that’s a rare occurrence, but I couldn’t tell the difference between them. They all did the same things, including trying out for, and not being selected for, the cheerleading squad. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/27 "2014-12-04T20:16:13Z")
> [@SaharaTea](#): > > This is interesting. Can you be more specific about what the challenges were? Like was it hard to get time alone with your twin without the other one intruding? Did they have secrets or inside jokes they didn’t let you in on? They were extremely close and though very attractive and fun to be around neither had really dated seriously despite being in their late 20s, early 30s. This may in part be because their father had disappeared when they were young and they were slow to trust men. It took forever to win the one’s trust, I for the first time realized just how incredibly patient I could be. I think the other twin looked at me as kind of a threat to the two of them staying so close as we became more serious and that if we had married it would have left her in the position of having to find someone too and she just didn’t seem that interested in dating. The tension slowly increased over time and she may have undermined issues her sister and I could have worked out otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/28 "2014-12-05T07:50:56Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > I’ve known 2 sets of gay/straight identical twins, both male. Of the set I went to school with once was circumcised and the other intact. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/29 "2014-12-05T09:51:09Z")
> [@Fiveyearlurker](#): > > I lived with a pair of identical twins in college. One very much straight and one very much gay. This. Exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_of\_Words](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f6c823/32.png) [@Jack\_of\_Words](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_of_Words)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/30 "2014-12-05T10:08:22Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > This. Exactly. And frequently. Apparantly. Have there been no studies into this? I assume the faintly prurient interest stems from an earnest and decent concern for queer rights, in pursuit of an honest understanding of the influence of nature, nurture, choice and morality. If sexuality differs in the genetically identical, we hone in on…something. Probably it’s important. To someone. But “Yes! Precisely! Your anecdote confirms my anecdote!” doesn’t get us anywhere. I’m a heterosexual identical twin. So is my brother… ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/31 "2014-12-05T10:53:26Z")
I know two pairs. One, boys, are very similar in most things. Corporate lawyer, identical haircuts and dress style and voice. You can tell them apart though, after a while. The girls, well they look very different now and have different interests. One, looks like a carbon copy of Anne Hathaway in Intersteller and works in development aid. The other, has long hair and works as an investment banker. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/32 "2014-12-05T14:24:40Z")
I knew a pair of identical wins in high school. They were very much alike. By the time graduation rolled around, having been pretty good friends for 4 years, I could almost always tell them apart if they were together, but of it was just one of them alone it was still tricky to figure our which one he was. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/33 "2014-12-05T14:40:10Z")
I once had a student who was a top math major in his year. One day, I saw and greeted someone I thought was him on campus. A couple days later, the one I knew asked if I had greeted his twin (I guess the other one described me) and I said I didn’t know he was a twin, but if he was then I did. I assumed they were identical since I could not tell them apart. But they have had very different lives. The brother was in physics, also a top student. They both won Rhodes scholarships (how often has that happened) and went off for a year in Oxford. On return, the physicist got a PhD and now holds a pretigious research chair. The one I knew lost interest in math, got a job at an alternative newspaper and now works as an independent translator. Although his native language is French you would never guess that from speaking English with him. But I gather his life never “jelled”. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/34 "2014-12-05T15:11:55Z")
In my high school there were two sets of identical twins, both pairs female. One pair had that short, tight curly red hair that looks very dumb if you grow it out so they both had the same haircut. Their facial structure and skin tone was also quite distinct so it was easy to mix them up. The other pair was the opposite. Brown hair and otherwise not that distinctive. They kept their hair at different lengths and didn’t really have much in the way of distinctive features that I can remember. I didn’t even know they were Identical twins until someone mentioned it. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/35 "2014-12-05T15:19:28Z")
I had a pair of identical twins in my dance class as a teenager. It was funny actually. When I first met them I couldn’t tell them apart at all. After a few years it surprised me whenever anyone confused them - didn’t they look totally different? Of course they looked totally different. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby\_Slippers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/94ad74/32.png) [@Ruby\_Slippers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby_Slippers)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/36 "2014-12-05T16:08:00Z")
I used to attend sci fi conventions and got to know faces and some first names of other regular attendees. Among those regulars were a couple of guys that I didn’t even think were related. One was slim and clean-shaven, the other was on the plump side with a beard. Imagine my surprise when someone told me they were actually identical twins! ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/37 "2014-12-05T16:51:25Z")
I had roommates in college that were identical twins (brothers). Initially I had a lot of difficulty telling them apart, I had to go by their haircuts (they were “out of phase” on their haircut cycles). And even then I had a number of embarrassing slips. They were clearly each other’s best friend, which I thought was very cool. They had a lot of the same interests: same majors in school, same make/types of car, similar clothes, same mustaches. But the more time I spent with them, the more I could start to see subtle differences in their personalities. One was a bit more daring/outgoing/motivated, the other was more reserved/introspective/conservative. It was really interesting to see. At each of their weddings, I met some of their old friends from growing up. And it surprized me how many of them could no longer tell them apart. By that time, I could easily tell by just talking to them, who was who. But these friends would admit (after the twin had left) that they weren’t sure which one they had just been talking to ! As a side: both weddings had some really funny moments with the whole mistaken identity thing - this even though the tuxes between the groom and the groomsmen were different ! (each was the other’s “best man”) ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/38 "2014-12-05T17:19:03Z")
I was good friends with half of a set of identical twins in college and by the time I knew them they were pretty different in most respects. When they were little girls they apparently used to fool people. But by college they dressed differently, wore their hair differently and had somewhat divergent interests ( drama vs. geography/international relations and attended different schools ) and personalities. They did _sound_ remarkably similar though, on first exposure anyway. I could eventually usually distinguish between the two on the phone, but I was always a little hesitant about it. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/39 "2014-12-05T18:33:26Z")
My mother is an identical twin. And was apparently _very_ identical when younger. When looking at pictures of her and her sister as children, she always has to point out which one she is. I can’t tell them apart at all. She tells lots of stories about how their teachers and _parents_ could not tell them apart. These stories are all about how my aunt got away with everything and my mother got blamed. My aunt was the evil twin, apparently. When I was 12 or so, my cousins (my aunt’s daughters) and I confirmed that the only way _we_ could tell them apart by looking was that my mother dyed her hair and my aunt let the silver come in, and that my aunt was in a wheelchair due to an accident in her early adulthood. Interestingly, we could easily tell the difference between them when they spoke, but many said it was difficult. I think it’s because while their voices sounded very similar, their speech patterns were different. Perhaps in subtle ways, but when you hear someone talk your whole life, very noticeable. I would never mistake my aunt for my mom on the phone. These days, they look quite different because age doesn’t strike uniformly. ---
**Author:** ![BaldDudePeekskill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@BaldDudePeekskill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaldDudePeekskill)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278/40 "2014-12-05T22:48:47Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > This. Exactly. My brother is married to one brother (gay) of a gay identical twin pair. Even at forty five they strongly resemble each other in looks but are polar opposites in personality. Still their wedding day was kind of funny, with matching tuxedos…oh, and even freakier was the fact that I almost dated the other brother before I met my husband . His [match.com](http://match.com) picture resembled the other brother, but not identically and at the time I did not make the (very obvious) connection [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identical-twins-youve-known-truly-identical-or-radically-different/706278.md?page=3)