# Identify the character from the professional-style description **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 29, 2006, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524 "2006-07-29T07:53:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2006, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/21 "2006-07-31T06:00:09Z")
Forgot to add a few more: NDP 4 - Age and sex: approximately 30; female. Physical traits: blonde hair, tall, thin. Subject is single longtime graduate student employed in the service industry. Has on-again, off-again relationship with employer. Seems fairly intelligent but prone to moodiness and extreme insecurity. NDP 5 - Age and sex: about 35; male. Subject is single and employed as a law enforcement officer in Los Angeles, California. Hot-tempered and prone to physical violence (especially against suspects accused of abusing women). “End justifies means” type who disregards rules and laws in the course of doing his job. NDP 6 - Age and sex: early 30’s; male. Subject is a former insurance investigator suffering from short-term amnesia. Seemingly easily manipulated by people who take advantage of his mental disability. Prone to writing notes and tattooing messages on himself to remember things. Obsessed with finding out who was behind the death of his wife. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2006, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/22 "2006-07-31T06:39:27Z")
1. Age and sex: Early 30s, male. Very thin, scraggly hair, hooked nose. Subject was a motorcycle racer for the Honda team in the 250-cc class. Has a nasal voice and speaks awkwardly. Drives a brown van. Has great difficulty trusting or becoming close to women. Is trying to find the whereabouts of a former girlfriend. 2. Age and sex: Early 30s, male. Dark hair, tall, strong chin, and strapping build. Subject is a jazz saxophonist who plays in avant-garde clubs in L.A. Lives in a modern-designed home with wife, whom he suspects of infidelities. Is subject to debilitating headaches, hallucinations, and delusions. 3. Age and sex: Mid-forties, male. Tall, overweight, round face, balding. Subject is employed in the carting industry. Is a devoted father to his son and daughter, though he has a history of infidelity to his wife of over 20 years. Is an animal lover. Interests include boating, fishing, and fine dining. 4. Age and sex: Late 20s, male. Tall, thin, with a goatee and reddish - brown hair. Subject is a cartoonist and is very talented artistically but has under-developed storylines. Lives at home with his father, who is very abusive, rude, crude, and abrasive, and his mother, who is submissive. Has one younger brother, whom he is constantly compared to. Dates a wheelchair-bound blonde with a caning fetish. Drives a Chrysler LeBaron convertible. Enjoys skateboarding. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2006, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/23 "2006-07-31T07:29:45Z")
You’ve all guessed right on my last ten. 🙂 21. Age & sex: 11; male. Subject shorter than average. Came to office on bicycle (sent by parents); told to leave dog outside. Related various semi-humorous incidents; often including girl his age. No problems with this girl, but subject is often tormented by girl’s younger sister. Lives in Oregon. 22. Age & sex: 16; male. Subject is in junior year of high school. No discernible social instinct; ravenous appetite for food. Conscientiously tends baby sister; seems to have normal relationship with peers but no romantic attachments, though closest friend has two girlfriends. Subject often in battle of wits with friend’s rival. 23. Age & sex: about 26; female. Subject has thorough education in chemistry and forensics. Civilian employee of U. S. Armed Forces. Petite brunette with bizarre tastes in clothing and accessories, but skill and ability in her professional calling is unquestionable. 24. Age & sex: 22; female. Subject is extremely guileless; very polite and cordial to everyone, but sometimes naïve reactions and questionable taste in clothing may put her in danger. Mental age estimated at 14; exaggerated female figure. 25. Age & sex: Age unknown but mature; male. Subject not known to wear clothing at all, but bears no mental traits suggesting exhibitionism. Rather snide attitude; iireverent tone of voice obvious despite Brooklyn-Bronx accent. No physical strength but seems able to outwit any adversary, even one carrying firearms. 26. Age & sex: Age uncertain, probably early 20s; male. Subject always grinning; one tooth missing from lower left. Despite foolish appearance, subject seems capable of quoting pithy aphorisms. No visible signs of stress but mourned the loss of a friend who died more than fifteen years ago. 27. Age & sex: Age about 45; male. Subject is Native American. Speaks lightly broken English. Robust and healthy; related experiences of years of horseback riding and skill with firearms and hand-to-hand combat. Subject mentioned close friend whom he rescued after bandits had left him for dead. Related stories of their efforts to fight crime in remote areas of Western states. 28. Age & sex: 40; female. Subject has career as educator. One daughter, who is receiving well-rounded education in her own right. Subject has her own therapist who has Tarzan-like fantasies. 29. Age & sex: 35; male. Subject severely overweight. Speaks in high-pitched voice. Tells of constant physical abuse by two peers, but seems not to suffer from it much. Wears hair short, despite urging by this professional to grow it longer. Given to wisecracks, clumsy movements and odd laughter. 30. Age & sex: 32; female. Subject speaks with British accent. Petite left-handed woman with long straight auburn hair. My contacts with other professionals uncovered startling suggestion of wings, according to X-rays; unsubstantiated. Subject made no claims of this herself. Related attachment to older man; engaged. Subject plays piano and showed records of employment with government agencies in United Kingdom. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2006, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/24 "2006-07-31T10:59:39Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Age & sex: Age unknown but mature; male. > Subject not known to wear clothing at all, but bears no mental traits suggesting exhibitionism. Rather snide attitude; iireverent tone of voice obvious despite Brooklyn-Bronx accent. No physical strength but seems able to outwit any adversary, even one carrying firearms. Bugs Bunny. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2006, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/25 "2006-07-31T21:30:20Z")
> [@mobo85](#): > > M1. Age and sex: 38 (at last check). imale. Subject appears unable to complete simple tasks, yet has succeeded many times despite this. Subject is never too far from public eye, be it due to one of his many occupations or just meddling in other people’s business- despite this, no one seems to mind. Subject is married, has three children- unable to reproduce futher due to complications involving major source of income. Homer Simpson (and I think it was mentioned in a recent ep that he was 39). > [@mobo85](#): > > ]M3: Age and sex: Unknown, male. Subject is laid-back and stoic unless provoked. Has been known to seek revenge by dirty tricks, pranks, and a possibly illegal arsenal of weapons. Unemployed. Often seen in public naked, wearing only gloves. Bugs Bunny (again) ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/26 "2006-08-02T04:12:34Z")
Another one before this thread fades away: NDP 7 - Age and sex: Approximately 30; male. Subject is a single African-American law enforcement officer from a large city in the American Midwest who, for purposes of investigating a crime, has temporarily relocated to Southern California. Irreverent with an attitude toward superiors that might be regarded as disrespectful but diligent and tenacious investigator. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/27 "2006-08-02T05:16:18Z")
> [@Argent Towers](#): > > 1. Age and sex: Early 30s, male. Dark hair, tall, strong chin, and strapping build. Subject is a jazz saxophonist who plays in avant-garde clubs in L.A. Lives in a modern-designed home with wife, whom he suspects of infidelities. Is subject to debilitating headaches, hallucinations, and delusions. Fred Madison from _Lost Highway_? Is that too obscure? And my contribution: Age and sex: around 40; female. Petite; strawberry blonde hair. Lives in LA. Environmental activist. Often aggrivated by her husband, but for their 10-year anniversary she gave him the opportunity of a lifetime. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/28 "2006-08-02T05:20:57Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. Age and sex: Mid-forties, male. Tall, overweight, round face, balding. Subject is employed in the carting industry. Is a devoted father to his son and daughter, though he has a history of infidelity to his wife of over 20 years. Is an animal lover. Interests include boating, fishing, and fine dining. Tony Soprano ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/29 "2006-08-02T05:43:05Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > 1. > > Age & sex: 11; male. > Subject shorter than average. Came to office on bicycle (sent by parents); told to leave dog outside. Related various semi-humorous incidents; often including girl his age. No problems with this girl, but subject is often tormented by girl’s younger sister. Lives in Oregon. Wild guess – Henry from the Henry and Ribsy kid’s books? > [@](#): > > 1. > > Age & sex: 16; male. > Subject is in junior year of high school. No discernible social instinct; ravenous appetite for food. Conscientiously tends baby sister; seems to have normal relationship with peers but no romantic attachments, though closest friend has two girlfriends. Subject often in battle of wits with friend’s rival. Sounds like Jughead from the Archie comics, though I’m not sure he has a baby sister… > [@](#): > > 1. > > Age & sex: 22; female. > Subject is extremely guileless; very polite and cordial to everyone, but sometimes naïve reactions and questionable taste in clothing may put her in danger. Mental age estimated at 14; exaggerated female figure. Could be anyone from Marilyn Monroe to Britney Spears. > [@](#): > > 1. > > Age & sex: 32; female. > Subject speaks with British accent. Petite left-handed woman with long straight auburn hair. My contacts with other professionals uncovered startling suggestion of wings, according to X-rays; unsubstantiated. Subject made no claims of this herself. Related attachment to older man; engaged. Subject plays piano and showed records of employment with government agencies in United Kingdom. Lara Croft…? ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/30 "2006-08-02T06:11:44Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > NDP 5 - Age and sex: about 35; male. Subject is single and employed as a law enforcement officer in Los Angeles, California. Hot-tempered and prone to physical violence (especially against suspects accused of abusing women). “End justifies means” type who disregards rules and laws in the course of doing his job. Vic Mackey? ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/31 "2006-08-02T07:02:15Z")
> [@Jeep's Phoenix](#): > > Vic Mackey? Not quite (think of someone less contemporary). ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/32 "2006-08-02T07:24:22Z")
> [@Rodgers01](#): > > Wild guess – Henry from the Henry and Ribsy kids’ books? Yup. Henry Huggins. > [@Rodgers01](#): > > Sounds like Jughead from the Archie comics, though I’m not sure he has a baby sister… He sure does–Jellybean. 🙂 > [@Rodgers01](#): > > Could be anyone from Marilyn Monroe to Britney Spears. Nope. Fictional characters only. This one is Little Annie Fanny. 😛 > [@Rodgers01](#): > > Lara Croft…? Not Lara Croft. Run my descriptive words through the SDMB search engine and you’ll eventually find her. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/33 "2006-08-02T13:42:30Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > NDP 7 - Age and sex: Approximately 30; male. Subject is a single African-American law enforcement officer from a large city in the American Midwest who, for purposes of investigating a crime, has temporarily relocated to Southern California. Irreverent with an attitude toward superiors that might be regarded as disrespectful but diligent and tenacious investigator. Axel Foley > [@AwSnappity](#): > > Age and sex: around 40; female. Petite; strawberry blonde hair. Lives in LA. Environmental activist. Often aggrivated by her husband, but for their 10-year anniversary she gave him the opportunity of a lifetime. Cheryl David ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/34 "2006-08-02T17:24:48Z")
PM1 - Age 31. Height 6ft., 2 in. Weight 175 lbs. Eyes blue. Hair black, brushed straight back. Complexion tanned. Bullet scar through upper left shoulder; 8 in. scar on right forearm. Always immaculately dressed. Luxurious tastes. Lives in most expensive hotels and is connoisseur of food and wine. Carries firearms and is expert knife thrower. Licensed air pilot. Speaks several languages fluently. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/35 "2006-08-02T18:28:23Z")
> [@Peter Morris](#): > > PM1 - Age 31. Height 6ft., 2 in. Weight 175 lbs. Eyes blue. Hair black, brushed straight back. Complexion tanned. Bullet scar through upper left shoulder; 8 in. scar on right forearm. Always immaculately dressed. Luxurious tastes. Lives in most expensive hotels and is connoisseur of food and wine. Carries firearms and is expert knife thrower. Licensed air pilot. Speaks several languages fluently. My guess: Bond–James Bond. Incidentally, nobody got my No. 29, which was Curly of the Three Stooges. Knuckleheads! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/36 "2006-08-02T19:56:42Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > My guess: Bond–James Bond. No. (but sort of yes) ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/37 "2006-08-02T20:01:37Z")
> [@Peter Morris](#): > > No. (but sort of yes) \Remington Steele?\ ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/38 "2006-08-02T20:10:56Z")
No, the other one. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/39 "2006-08-02T20:16:15Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Age & sex: Age about 45; male. > Subject is Native American. Speaks lightly broken English. Robust and healthy; related experiences of years of horseback riding and skill with firearms and hand-to-hand combat. Subject mentioned close friend whom he rescued after bandits had left him for dead. Related stories of their efforts to fight crime in remote areas of Western states. . Tonto. ---
**Author:** ![Baffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@Baffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baffle)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/40 "2006-08-02T20:19:34Z")
> [@mobo85](#): > > M2: Age and sex: Unknown, possible mid-30s to early 40s, male. Subject often involved in fantastical business differing quite drastically from his given occupation, presumably due to recent emigration from previous home due to possible magic-related instances or job hazard. Has murdered small creatures in the range of millions, yet has not been arrested for these crimes due to the fact these creatures were actually enemy soldiers. Frequently exibits drug-enhanced growth spurts. Mario! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524.md?page=3)