# Identify the character from the professional-style description **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 29, 2006, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524 "2006-07-29T07:53:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/41 "2006-08-02T20:33:47Z")
OCS 1 - Hispanic female, age 7. Most commonly spotted in an undersize t-shirt. Product of a stable home environment, but spends majority of time wandering without adult supervision. Seeks to overcome apparent short-term memory deficiencies by repeating everything 8 times. OCS 2 - Male, approximate height 48". Last seen wearing scrap of leather or fabric about the loins. Malnutrition evident in posture, hair and teeth. Frequently refers to self in first person plural. Preferred meal is some form of home-prepared sashimi. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/42 "2006-08-02T22:41:42Z")
Ocs#1 Dora the Explorer. I should know, its only on 50 times a day at my house. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/43 "2006-08-02T23:54:06Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > OCS 2 - Male, approximate height 48". Last seen wearing scrap of leather or fabric about the loins. Malnutrition evident in posture, hair and teeth. Frequently refers to self in first person plural. Preferred meal is some form of home-prepared sashimi. What has it got in its nasty little pocketses, precioussssssss? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/44 "2006-08-03T01:09:52Z")
BDCT #1–Male, Caucasian. American National, mother’s identity unknown.Red hair. 78 inches tall. Weight 300 lbs. Build-that of a weightlifter, but extremely agile. Trained physican & surgeon, with extensive training in other scientific fields. Trained pilot, WW1 Air Combat “ace” at 16. Extensively trained in unarmed combat, rarely uses a gun. Known to wear body armor, carries an extensive arsenal of non-lethal weapons, disguised as ordinary items. Owns private hospital in upstate New York. Has laboratory/consulting rooms/private apartments in major skyscraper in New York City, which he is the secret owner of, through shell companies. While subjects patents on inventions are valuable, wealth comes from gold trading in South America. ```auto Subject is extremely dangerous ``` – _operatives strictly forbidden to engage in Black Ops against this subject without prior approval from Top Level of Administrative Section._ BDCT#2–Male, Caucasian, UK National. Height-73 inches. Weight–175 lbs. Build–extremely thin, yet possessed of a remarkable strength. Black hair, receding hairline with pronounced forehead. Aquiline nose. Subject is University educated, but possesses no degree. Extensive knowledge of chemistry, especially poisons. Extensive Urban Studies. Subject is trained in Japanese Martial Arts, & boxes. Subject is experienced in the theatre, & has extensive knowledge of makeup & costuming. Well-connected at the highest levels of the British Government. Subject uses alcohol, a broad variety of tobbacco (of which he is a connoisseur), and is a known narcotics addict. Despite this, he has been employed by the British Government in classified & extremely sensitive roles, including Counterintelligence. ```auto WARNING: ``` subject is _highly observant_–do not follow or approach this individual if operating undercover. If, while engaged in a Clandestine Operation, any operative encounters this subject, you are under standing orders to abandon your operation, destroy all notes, documents, & cover identities, & flee the UK _immediately_. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/45 "2006-08-03T02:43:49Z")
BDCT#2 - Sherlock Holmes ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/46 "2006-08-03T02:49:27Z")
BDCT #1 - Is it The Shadow? ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/47 "2006-08-03T03:04:14Z")
> [@mobo85](#): > > M4: Age and sex: Unknown, male. Subject currently unemployed, yet financially well-off due to recent events. Outgoing, friendly, however, has a past criminal record. Often seen in the company of brother and two females. Always carries a piece of paper in his pocket. His name is Earl. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/48 "2006-08-03T04:07:54Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > Axel Foley Correct. > [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Incidentally, nobody got my No. 29, which was Curly of the Three Stooges. > Knuckleheads! But you said no fictional characters. Curly Howard is a comic persona like Groucho Marx’s, Woody Allen’s, or Charlie Chaplin’s. > [@dougie\_monty](#): > > 23.Age & sex: about 26; female. > Subject has thorough education in chemistry and forensics. Civilian employee of U. S. Armed Forces. Petite brunette with bizarre tastes in clothing and accessories, but skill and ability in her professional calling is unquestionable. Is this Diana Prince (a.k.a., Wonder Woman)? ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/49 "2006-08-03T07:48:47Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > Correct. > But you said no fictional characters. Curly Howard is a comic persona like Groucho Marx’s, Woody Allen’s, or Charlie Chaplin’s. OK, I see what you mean; mea culpa. :o > [@NDP](#): > > Is this Diana Prince (a.k.a., Wonder Woman)? :Sigh: no, it’s Abby from NCIS. Diana Prince is hardly “Petite.” Here are a few more: 31. Age & sex: 70; male. Subject is veteran plain-clothes police officer. Grumpy, but rather crafty. Age slowing him down now, but has often been involved in investigations resulting in court proceedings with a subject mentioned much earlier. Claims to have shot and injured a crooked cop in other subject’s office; had angry confrontations with prosecutor; even outwitting his adversary. Always available to tell in court, under oath, about his findings. 32. Age & sex; late 30s, apparently; male. Subject exhibits mild narcissism. Employed as jack-of-all-trades in apartment house in Midwest. Knows premises minutely; able to enter apartments ostensibly without door keys. Despite this demeanor, subject seems able to assist divorced woman managing two adolescent daughters. 33. Age & sex: 38; male. Subject is married; lives in upstate NY. Related various unachieved goals. Runs own business with help of two cousins and erratic uncle. Tests revealed subject is deaf in right ear, apparently due to childhood illness. My general appraisal is that this subject is dedicated to helping others, even despite lack of own resources. Related recent episode of despondency. 34. Age & sex: 55; female. Subject is domestic, employed by married couple. Lives in large house with the couple and three children belonging to each. Irreverent attitude apparently compensates for stressful environment caused by these children. 35. Age & sex: about 12; female. Subject apparently lost both parents several years ago. Lived in institution, but released at behest of mysterious wealthy man whose own companions include tall, husky Indian mystic and shadowy shorter man in dark suit. Has dog. I have requested ophthalmological testing inasmuch as subject appears to be blind, but she shows no normal signs of blindness. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/50 "2006-08-03T11:15:04Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > 1. > > Age & sex; late 30s, apparently; male. > Subject exhibits mild narcissism. Employed as jack-of-all-trades in apartment house in Midwest. Knows premises minutely; able to enter apartments ostensibly without door keys. Despite this demeanor, subject seems able to assist divorced woman managing two adolescent daughters. Schneider, from _One Day At A Time_. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/51 "2006-08-03T11:51:28Z")
BC1: Subject is in his late 20s, has a criminal background, but now is gainfully employed at a small radio station in a remote northern town. Said radio station seems to have no set format, playing whatever strikes the subject’s fancy; obscure country, jazz, and rock. Subject also likes to read a variety of books over the air to his listeners; including philosophy and children’s books. BC2: Subject is in his mid to late 20s, employed as a salesman in northeastern PA. Enjoys tormenting a fellow coworker with childish pranks. Has a close friendship with a female coworker, but his feelings are much deeper than hers. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/52 "2006-08-03T12:16:27Z")
> [@Peter Morris](#): > > BDCT#2 - Sherlock Holmes Correct. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/53 "2006-08-03T12:26:25Z")
> [@Peter Morris](#): > > BDCT #1 - Is it The Shadow? No. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/54 "2006-08-03T12:50:24Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > 1. > > Age & sex: 55; female. > Subject is domestic, employed by married couple. Lives in large house with the couple and three children belonging to each. Irreverent attitude apparently compensates for stressful environment caused by these children. Alice Nelson > [@](#): > > 1. > > Age & sex: about 12; female. > Subject apparently lost both parents several years ago. Lived in institution, but released at behest of mysterious wealthy man whose own companions include tall, husky Indian mystic and shadowy shorter man in dark suit. Has dog. I have requested ophthalmological testing inasmuch as subject appears to be blind, but she shows no normal signs of blindness. Little Orphen Annie ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/55 "2006-08-03T15:17:48Z")
DPA #1–Age: mid-20s. Gender: male. Has wife and one son. Though never corroborated by professionals, subject appears to have suffered some sort of breakdown. Spends days wandering halls, tormented by specters. Has obvious food-related obsessions as evidenced by continual engorgement; subject displays gross obesity with a rounded, puffy appearance. Appears to make some progress on his battle with his demons but it is always short-lived. Does appear to have functional, loving relationship with spouse and child, though no real gainful employment has been sought by any of them. DPA #2–Age: 16. Gender: female. Subject is victim of intense abuse by her family, particularly father. Has made suicidal gestures and is a cutter. Sought relationship with older man in position of power to replace broken father-daughter bond. Possible gender identity issues. ---
**Author:** ![Southpaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@Southpaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southpaw)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/56 "2006-08-03T17:50:25Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > 1. > > Age & sex: 70; male. > Subject is veteran plain-clothes police officer. Grumpy, but rather crafty. Age slowing him down now, but has often been involved in investigations resulting in court proceedings with a subject mentioned much earlier. Claims to have shot and injured a crooked cop in other subject’s office; had angry confrontations with prosecutor; even outwitting his adversary. Always available to tell in court, under oath, about his findings. Lenny Briscoe > [@dougie\_monty](#): > > 1. > > Age & sex: 38; male. > Subject is married; lives in upstate NY. Related various unachieved goals. Runs own business with help of two cousins and erratic uncle. Tests revealed subject is deaf in right ear, apparently due to childhood illness. My general appraisal is that this subject is dedicated to helping others, even despite lack of own resources. Related recent episode of despondency. George Bailey S1. Age & sex: 35; male. Subject is unmarried, lives in Los Angeles and works in insurance. Subject may be involved in some sort of fraud with a blonde woman who wears an ankle bracelet. S2. Age & sex: about 35; female. Subject is medium height with blonde hair accessorized with a black bow on one side. Subject is single and recently went on a talk show to advertize for a husband. S3. Age & sex: age unknown but mature; female. Subject is wealthy, likes to throw parties and associates with people on the fringes of society. She also likes to change her hair color and apartment decor frequently. Subject was recently awarded custody of her orphaned nephew. S4. Age & sex: about 30; male. Subject has vast knowledge of science and engineering and works for a secret government agency. Subject can be identified by his blond mullet, leather jacket and may also be carrying a roll of duct tape ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/57 "2006-08-03T18:33:55Z")
> [@Southpaw](#): > > Lenny Briscoe > S3. Age & sex: age unknown but mature; female. > Subject is wealthy, likes to throw parties and associates with people on the fringes of society. She also likes to change her hair color and apartment decor frequently. Subject was recently awarded custody of her orphaned nephew. Auntie Mame? ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/58 "2006-08-03T18:37:30Z")
> [@Southpaw](#): > > S1. Age & sex: 35; male. > Subject is unmarried, lives in Los Angeles and works in insurance. Subject may be involved in some sort of fraud with a blonde woman who wears an ankle bracelet. Walter Neff in \*Double Indemnity. \* ---
**Author:** ![Southpaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@Southpaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southpaw)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/59 "2006-08-03T23:29:57Z")
**dougie\_monty** and **Ensign Edison** - both correct S5. Age & sex: age approx. 325, Female. Subject has blonde hair with peek-a-boo bangs. Subject has pecular “talents”, inanimate objects have been known to move of their own accord when she is around. Subject is often seen in the company of her father and is married to a New England resident. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524/60 "2006-08-03T23:46:54Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > BC1: Subject is in his late 20s, has a criminal background, but now is gainfully employed at a small radio station in a remote northern town. Said radio station seems to have no set format, playing whatever strikes the subject’s fancy; obscure country, jazz, and rock. Subject also likes to read a variety of books over the air to his listeners; including philosophy and children’s books. Chris Stevens from “Northern Exposure” > [@Southpaw](#): > > S4. Age & sex: about 30; male. > Subject has vast knowledge of science and engineering and works for a secret government agency. Subject can be identified by his blond mullet, leather jacket and may also be carrying a roll of duct tape MacGyver Three of mine remain unanswered so I’ll add a bit more description to them. NDP 4 - Age and sex: approximately 30; female. Physical traits: blonde hair, tall, thin. Subject is single longtime graduate student from Boston employed in the service industry. Has on-again, off-again relationship with employer. Seems fairly intelligent but prone to moodiness and extreme insecurity. NDP 5 - Age and sex: about 35; male. Subject is employed as a law enforcement officer in Los Angeles, California. Hot-tempered and prone to physical violence (especially against suspects accused of abusing women). “End justifies means” type who disregards rules and laws in the course of doing his job. Subject is single but has a relationship with a sex industry worker. NDP 6 - Age and sex: early 30’s; male. Subject is a former insurance investigator suffering from amnesia and short-term memory loss. Seemingly easily manipulated by people who take advantage of his mental disability. Prone to writing notes and tattooing messages on himself to remember things. Obsessed with finding out who was behind the death of his wife. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/identify-the-character-from-the-professional-style-description/366524.md?page=4)