# Idioms and expressions **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 7, 2001, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955 "2001-11-07T05:17:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Has\_anyone\_seen\_my\_pants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cdc98d/32.png) [@Has\_anyone\_seen\_my\_pants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Has_anyone_seen_my_pants)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/21 "2001-11-08T06:41:45Z")
“Now then, let’s see, what was I gonna say…?” Oh, yeah — _now then_. What the heck does that mean?? It’s either now, or it’s then; can it somehow be both?? Well… I hope someone knows or has a theory. (‘Well’ is another one)… ---
**Author:** ![flickerwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/13edae/32.png) [@flickerwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickerwolf)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/22 "2001-11-08T07:00:26Z")
I like “Going to hell in a handbasket”! It gives you this great image…hehe. I can’t remember any whoop-di- do-whiz-bang ones but that will change when I get a free moment or two. HEheh. ---
**Author:** ![smaft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c2a13f/32.png) [@smaft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaft)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/23 "2001-11-08T20:11:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manda JO \* > I’ve always liked “I’m fucking this cat, you hold the tail” for when someone is trying to help and causing more trouble than they are worth. Similarly, a friend of mine in college would say, “Hey- who’s fucking this dog?!?” in that situation. I’ve used it a couple of times, but people look at me strangely. ---
**Author:** ![thermalribbon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@thermalribbon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thermalribbon)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/24 "2001-11-08T20:19:14Z")
**To describe a disorganized, messy, confusing, or mis-managed situation:** _"It’s like an octopus fucking a bagpipe!_ [sub] **Personal Favorite** [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Pismonque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/46a35a/32.png) [@Pismonque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pismonque)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2001, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/25 "2001-11-08T20:44:48Z")
I’ve always liked a device they sometimes use on _NYPD Blue_ to further demean the subject of an disparaging remark. Instead of saying something like, “Some moron left his business card at the murder scene,” they’d say, “Some _half a_ moron left his business card at the murder scene.” I like it. Subtle, not too flashy, but effective. ---
**Author:** ![Limerick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a87d85/32.png) [@Limerick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Limerick)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/26 "2001-11-09T03:08:26Z")
“So confused he doesn’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.” ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/27 "2001-11-09T04:07:04Z")
“The best part of you dribbled down your mother’s leg when she got out of the back seat of the car.” ---
**Author:** ![woolly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ebca7d/32.png) [@woolly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woolly)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/28 "2001-11-09T12:41:58Z")
[ul] Mad as a cut snake May your chickens hatch into emus and kick your dunny down I’d rather hang out of that than a gum tree Three axehandles across the backside Goes like a cut cat You’ve got two chances: Buckley’s and none Belted piss and pickhandles out of 'em [/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/29 "2001-11-09T17:57:01Z")
My friend’s dad used to say,“Well, it’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.” My mom is fond of saying “My stomach feels like my throat’s been cut” when she’s hungry. I love the similies Dennis Miller uses in his rants, like “more adept at slinging bullshit than a Pamplona street sweeper” and “more tort happy than Pavarotti turned loose in an Entemann’s factory.” It passes the inter-ocular trauma test-for something that hits you right between the eyes ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/30 "2001-11-09T18:54:23Z")
“Strong like ox, smart like tractor.” For full effect, speak in as heavy a Slavic accent as you can muster. “Better than a kick in the teeth with a frozen mukluk.” For the old “praying to the porcelain god”, we have “calling Ralph over the Great White Telephone”, and “going bowling”. ---
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/31 "2001-11-09T19:12:00Z")
His elevator don’t go to the top. The porch light’s on but nobody’s home. All his dogs ain’t barkin. Her butt looks like two bulldogs in a sack. I feel like a bagful of sore assholes. Whaddaya think, your sh\*t don’t stink? I ain’t eaten in a bear’s age. Threats: I’m gonna be all over you like: ~ white on rice ~ ugly on an ape ~ stink on sh\*t. I’m gonna rip your head off and drink outta the hole! (a personal favorite) Bill Cosby (to a disobediant child): I’ll beat you so bad you don’t grow no more. I brought into this world, and I’ll take you out. Bad come-on lines: Baby, I’m gonna tickle your bellybutton from the inside. Curses: Jesus Christ on toast with little fishies on the side! Probably the most awe-inspiring curse I ever heard was from a spanish-speaking friend who translated it as something like: Quit slapping me in the face with your d_ck covered in sh_t from f\ ***ing Christ in the a**! ---
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2001, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/32 "2001-11-09T19:24:52Z")
Filling the thunder mug. She dropped him like a turd from a tall cow’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/33 "2001-11-10T03:52:16Z")
slicker than snot on a glass doorknob slicker than catshit on linoleum From the movie Matewan I wouldn’t piss on him if his heart was on fire. you have three chances: slim, fat, and none The redneck word of understatement is “about.” Instead of saying “he’s a real asshole,” say “he’s about an asshole.” ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Earthworm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dirty\_Earthworm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Earthworm)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/34 "2001-11-10T04:10:29Z")
I always used “going bowling” for smoking weed, but that was back in my drug days. (Pot pipes being referred to as “bowls,” hence smoking a bowl was “going bowling.”) When it’s really hot out, you might hear me say that I’m “sweating like a hooker on double-coupon night” or “sweating like a slut on prom night.” -Syko “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.” - Ralph Wiggum ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Earthworm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dirty\_Earthworm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Earthworm)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/35 "2001-11-10T04:12:53Z")
Oh yeah … “bleeding like a virgin on her wedding night” is another favorite of mine. Sorry about the double-post but it totally slipped my mind. -Syko again (and Ralph’s cat’s breath still smells like cat food.) ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/36 "2001-11-10T04:24:41Z")
Great thread. I have tons of Silky-isms…at least that’s what my friends (well, people that know me) call them. “I’m so hungry I could eat the ass end out of a rag doll.” “Aw, that bitch makes my clit itch…” (I know, kinda raw for IMHO, but anyway…) “I wanna (insert instance of choice here) so bad I could shit purple monkeys.” “Damn. Some people’s kids.” “If you can “huh?”, you can HEAR.” “Hooty by far…” or “Hoot-square”. “I gotta shit like a crippled 'coon.” (That’s a Mr.Silky favorite) “She/he looks like she/he’s been shot at and missed and shit at and hit.” Nah, they’re not all original, by a long shot. But nobody I know knows that! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Palve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a698b9/32.png) [@Palve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palve)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/37 "2001-11-10T04:28:54Z")
Speaking of Ralph Wiggum: “My cat’s name is Mittens.” “It tastes like…BURNING!” “When I grow up, I’m going to bovine university!” “That’s where I sawed a leprechaun. He told me to burn things.” And of course, Ralph’s leprechaun: “Aye, you’ve done a fine job, laddie. Now ya know what ya got to do…Burn the house down! BURN THEM ALL!” ---
**Author:** ![Has\_anyone\_seen\_my\_pants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cdc98d/32.png) [@Has\_anyone\_seen\_my\_pants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Has_anyone_seen_my_pants)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/38 "2001-11-10T04:35:50Z")
“You’ll be so surprised, you’re eyebrows will re-define your hairline!” I like also, “paying thru the nose”. Any idea of the origin? ---
**Author:** ![Has\_anyone\_seen\_my\_pants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cdc98d/32.png) [@Has\_anyone\_seen\_my\_pants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Has_anyone_seen_my_pants)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/39 "2001-11-10T04:44:26Z")
Someone remind me to always preview my posts. “You’ll be so surprised, your eyebrows will re-define your hairline!” ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Earthworm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dirty\_Earthworm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Earthworm)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2001, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955/40 "2001-11-10T05:05:00Z")
So-and-so “got beat with an ugly stick,” or “fell out of an Ugly Tree. (and hit every branch on the way down.)” And as the all-knowing Ralph Wiggum so eloquently put it, “I bent my wookie.” -Syko [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idioms-and-expressions/91955.md?page=3)