# Idiot callers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 8, 2005, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087 "2005-11-08T19:20:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087/61 "2005-11-10T15:14:02Z")
> [@DogMom](#): > > STORY TWO: For a while, before the theater went out of business, my parents had a phone number that was one number off the local XXX theater. (Last number on the XXX theater phone was 0; last number of my parents’ was 9). Back in the day of rotary-dial phones, it was very common for people to not-quite-complete the rotation from “0” all the way around, so it was real common for my parents to get phone calls for this theater. One night around 11:30 or so, my mom was awoken out of a sound sleep by the telephone ringing. She picked it up, the caller asked, “Yeah, what’re you showing tonight?” She, not-really-awake and not realizing it was a call for the theater and thinking it was an obscene call, shot back, “None of your damn business, you nasty pervert” and hung up. Shortly thereafter, the theater changed their phone number. Probably unrelated. This one gave me the giggles. I keep imaging the guy staring at his phone with a confused look on his face thinking, \*What kind of porn theater \*is _this place?_ ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087/62 "2005-11-10T16:14:44Z")
We recently got a new phone number that unfortunately is close to a taxi company’s. The calls are starting to die down a little but usually on Friday and Saturday nights we get calls after 2 am from people wanting to be picked up. Trying to explain to a drunk person that they have the wrong number is not always easy, so now we don’t answer the phone for 2 am calls. For a while I thought it was the same 2 people calling all the time, and once I got an irate woman telling me her sister had been waiting for me for a long time and what was going on? I couldn’t get her to understand she had the wrong number so I hung up on her, but next time I will just tell her there is a taxi on its way and to go wait out front. We also are getting a lot of calls for someone with a very similar first name as mine, including from a Dr.'s office and Walgreens Pharmacy saying her prescription is ready. One place I think is some kind of financial office or maybe collections, because they are getting more and more irate when I don’t return their messages. The trouble is her first name is so close to mine that the first time he called I thought I just misheard him and said ‘this is she’, as the call went on I asked for the last name and realized he had the wrong number, but I think he thinks I am really her but dodging him so now he won’t give up. Last time he called I told him again ‘there is no one here by that name’ but he didn’t sound like he believed me and the other day there was another message for her saying “I have left numerous messages for you and you really need to call me back.” Never mind our machine identifies us by last name and that at least is not even close. I hardly even answer the phone anymore because I swear we get more wrong numbers than calls for us. After we got our phone number hooked up 5 minutes later the phone rang and it was a wrong number, I knew then that we were in trouble. ---
**Author:** ![jacquilynne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jacquilynne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacquilynne)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087/63 "2005-11-10T16:37:32Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > You expect a fogey to understand how to use a speed dial function? Actually, with repeated wrong numbers from the same person, I’d wonder if that’s what they _are_ using. If someone programmed the speed dial for them wrong, all they do is keep hitting the button marked ‘Bob’ or ‘Julie’ and don’t quite understand that it’s never going to magically fix itself and actually call ‘Bob’ or ‘Julie’. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087/64 "2005-11-10T16:54:13Z")
> [@DogMom](#): > > . . . about this time Drunk Guy called BACK. “Martha, baby, honey, I’m \*real real \* sorry, please…” I interrupted, “Dude. There’s NO MARTHA HERE. YOU HAVE A WRONG NUMBER. DON’T WASTE ANY MORE QUARTERS CALLING MY NUMBER.”. . . I hung up, and he (of course) called right back. Oh man, what an opportunity. You could have said, “Honey, I _can’t_ take you back. It’s not the other stuff, it’s just that . . . well . . . I don’t know how to say this, but . . . your _penis_ is so small! You just weren’t satisfying my womanly desires!” Might as well give the guy a _reason_ to get drunk. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087/65 "2005-11-10T16:59:55Z")
> [@Freddy the Pig](#): > > Oh man, what an opportunity. You could have said, “Honey, I _can’t_ take you back. It’s not the other stuff, it’s just that . . . well . . . I don’t know how to say this, but . . . your _penis_ is so small! You just weren’t satisfying my womanly desires!” > > Might as well give the guy a _reason_ to get drunk. Dangerous, it could also cause him to get violent and assault his ex-girlfriend. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087/66 "2005-11-10T17:02:10Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > How is it that all of you get wrong numbers from people who actually speak your native language!? Virtually 100% of the time, if I get a wrong number, or if I misdial myself, I get someone whose native tongue doesn’t even use the same alphabet as mine. You’re not the only one. For a couple weeks I was getting wrong number calls from someone with a heavy (I think Chinese) accent. Her English was so poor that I couldn’t even understand who she was trying to find. I got several messages on my answering machine from her before she finally called when I was home. It took awhile, but I think I finally conveyed to her that she had the wrong number, because she hasn’t called back since. She wasn’t an idiot caller, though, I just think she didn’t speak enough English to understand my answering machine message and make the connection that she had the wrong number. ---
**Author:** ![Dob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Dob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dob)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087/67 "2005-11-10T17:10:46Z")
Slight hijack. A few years ago (in 2000 I believe) somebody here wrote what I consider the seminal rant on idiot callers. It was many years ago, before I started here, but somebody referenced it a couple years back. If anyone knows who wrote it, I would LOVE to read that again. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087/68 "2005-11-10T17:22:50Z")
Are you think of Cervaise’s classic [“The Telemarketer Speaks. I Respond.”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=51270) thread? Dude, you really need to bookmark it. There are none better. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087/69 "2005-11-10T17:46:27Z")
My father would always just “take a message” if someone called again after being told it was a wrong number. He is evil. A couple stories from the other side of the fence: Our number is ABC-ABDD. We’ve lived here over a year, but my sweetie and I usually talk on our cell phones, so he has trouble remembering our home number. The other day he called me on the home line and said, “Boy, the people at ABD-ABCC must really be getting tired of me.” At least he’s polite when he dials a wrong number and presumably doesn’t ask them if they’re \*sure \* they aren’t his wife. When I get a wrong number, I usually try to find out if the number is indeed the one I tried to dial, or if I fat-fingered the keypad. It drives me nuts when I say, “Oh, I’m sorry. Is this . . .” and I get a big SLAM in my ear. I understand being annoyed, but if you tell me what number I did dial, you will reduce the chances of me calling you again! ---
**Author:** ![Dob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Dob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dob)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087/70 "2005-11-10T18:00:44Z")
Ah, \*\*Mama Tiger \*\* I will now refer to you as Queen Tiger! Thanks, that was what I was looking for! ---
**Author:** ![Sweetums](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Sweetums](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweetums)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087/71 "2005-11-10T19:43:36Z")
Two of my favorites Call at 7:00 on a Saturday morning. Me: Hello Caller: Is this (Doctor with a number that is one number off of mine)'s office. Me: No, I’m sorry, you have a wrong number. Caller: Are you sure? Me: I’ve lived here for 20 years, if this were a doctor’s office, I’m sure I would have noticed by now. Another favorite: Me: Hello Caller: Identify yourself when you answer the phone. Me: Huh? Caller: Who is this? Me: This is (Sweetums). Caller: What the hell is that supposed to mean to me? Me: That your’re an asshole that dosn’t know how dial a phone! :wally ``` Y'know, I knew that eventually technology would outpace the ability of the average human to deal with, I just didn't know the device that would push them over the edge would be the touch tone phone. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087/72 "2005-11-10T21:20:59Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > How is it that all of you get wrong numbers from people who actually speak your native language!? Virtually 100% of the time, if I get a wrong number, or if I misdial myself, I get someone whose native tongue doesn’t even use the same alphabet as mine. You live in a big, international city. People like you in Toronto, or me in San Diego, or **Kyla** in Chicago often get calls from people with origins elsewhere, but someone in southern Pennsylvania is more likely surrounded by people (who look/talk) just like them, whatever that means for their case. > [@Sweetums](#): > > Y’know, I knew that eventually technology would outpace the ability of the average human to deal with, I just didn’t know the device that would push them over the edge would be the touch tone phone. My uncle is a retired individual who is probably reaching the age where he can be referred to as a “senior citizen”. He’s pretty savvy–he doesn’t have problems with anything technological, as he worked with high-tech stuff in the military for a long time–but I remember one day he was trying to reheat something, and the particular microwave wanted him to use a highly involved button sequence to determine which reheat setting to use (one serving of pasta, three servings of chicken, two servings of vegetables, etc.) and after finally figuring it out he said something that’s stuck with me ever since: “This thing thinks it’s smarter than me, and it’s probably right.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-callers/330087.md?page=3)