# Idiot college students arrested for setting church fires in Alabama **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 9, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646 "2006-03-09T04:51:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/1 "2006-03-09T04:51:49Z")
Words like idiots, morons or stupid fucking jerks don’t begin to do these guys justice. [Here’s the story.](http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/09/national/09arson.html?hp&ex=1141880400&en=81c935b6f2bb6620&ei=5094&partner=homepage) Good job guys. Destroy a bunch of private property and your own lives for a “joke”. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/2 "2006-03-09T05:16:26Z")
I’d like to offer a retraction. In the Pit thread I started on this a month or so ago, I postulated that the fires were started by either racist bastards (silly on the face of it, since 5 were predominantly white churches,) or meth-addled redneck losers. I was wrong. They were affluent college students. Sorry, all you racist, meth-addled redneck losers. 🙂 A “joke?” What the motherFUCK, you numbnuts? ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/3 "2006-03-09T05:17:28Z")
> [@](#): > > A “joke?” What the motherFUCK, you numbnuts? …not directed at Kolak. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/4 "2006-03-09T05:32:08Z")
Oh I knew what you meant **Ogre** , don’t worry. 😃 I don’t think numbnuts is strong enough. This strikes me as a special kind of stupid that deserves its own phrase. I’m going to have to work on it. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/5 "2006-03-09T05:49:17Z")
Geeze, I don’t follow the news all that often (I can’t imagine why :rolleyes:), but I happened to catch this on the news a few days ago. I remember thinking it was probably some racist group, like the KKK or something (I didn’t hear that they were mainly white churches). I’m as hard an atheist as any you’ll ever meet. When a church is destoyed by an earthquake, mudslide or meteor strike (as long as _no one_ was injured, so don’t send angry emails!) I get a little tingle of satisfactory smugness. But, this…this just pisses me off. If these fuckers are guilty, I hope they get the maximum they can get for whatever they can be charged with. ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/6 "2006-03-09T05:50:32Z")
How about “peckerwood”? ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/7 "2006-03-09T05:54:07Z")
Stoopid smilie prioritizing. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/8 "2006-03-09T05:55:11Z")
> [@Giant\_Spongess](#): > > How about “peckerwood”? No, I don’t think that’s punishment enough. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Taran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Taran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taran)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/9 "2006-03-09T05:55:19Z")
I read that article, getting more and more confused: > [@](#): > > Federal officials said the fires were a “joke” that spun out of control while the students were deer hunting. On the one hand, hunting. On the other arson. The connection? This doesn’t even make stupid sense. > [@](#): > > After initially setting ablaze five churches in the county just south of Birmingham, two students burned four additional churches days later in more remote areas, hoping to divert investigators, the authorities said. “Holy shit, the police are on to us! They think we burned a bunch of churches!” “I have it! We should burn MORE churches…in OTHER PLACES!” > [@](#): > > A witness, unnamed in the affidavit, told agents that Matthew Cloyd said he and Mr. Moseley “had done something stupid,” adding that it was something that Mr. Moseley had done “as a joke, and it got out of hand.” How was this ever IN hand? How do you start joking about burning places of worship? > [@](#): > > Moseley said that, after [they saw fire trucks driving by], burning the other three churches became too spontaneous What does that even MEAN? No part of this makes sense! Did I wake up in Stupid World? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/10 "2006-03-09T06:06:47Z")
I’m dying to know what the joke was supposed to be. … … “The Aristocrats?” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/11 "2006-03-09T06:19:20Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I’m dying to know what the joke was supposed to be. > > … > > … > “The Aristocrats?” Now that’s a good joke! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/12 "2006-03-09T06:49:52Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > I’d like to offer a retraction. In the Pit thread I started on this a month or so ago, I postulated that the fires were started by either racist bastards (silly on the face of it, since 5 were predominantly white churches,) or meth-addled redneck losers. > > I was wrong. They were affluent college students. Sorry, all you racist, meth-addled redneck losers. 🙂 Well, you weren’t the only one who got it wrong: > [@](#): > > The identities surprised investigators, who had speculated that the fires were the work of people familiar with the remote rural roads where the blazes were set, not products of the Birmingham upper middle class, one the son of a doctor and another of a county constable. > > “This is just so hard to believe,” said the state fire marshal, Richard W. Montgomery. “My profile on these suspects is shot all to heck and back.” ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/13 "2006-03-09T06:53:30Z")
> [@Taran](#): > > What does that even MEAN? I’ve been trying to parse it myself. I honestly think they’re trying to make it all go away with “Oops. My bad.” ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/14 "2006-03-09T07:26:01Z")
> [@page 2 of the news story](#): > > 2006 is here, it is time to reconvene the season of evil! Only one problem stands in our way. I got a new cellphone for Christmas and I no longer have your number, so send it to me and evil shall once again come to pass! > > May our girlfriends be concerned about our safety, may our parents be clueless, may our beers be frosty, may our love lives be fruitful, may our weed be green as the freshly mowed grass! I personally don’t find it surprising that they were into weed at the least. Maybe they also did recreational “huffing” at some point? Somehow they killed off a lot of brain cells. “Jackass” has nothing on these guys. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/15 "2006-03-09T07:33:15Z")
Wow, college students who are into weed. I’m sure it really has a lot to do with that. Almost every single person I know is “into weed,” and as far as I know nobody is burning down churches. Violent behavior goes hand in hand with alcohol, not marijuana. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/16 "2006-03-09T07:52:23Z")
If you’d read further you’d have seen I said **at the least** , and wondered if they had also been [huffing](http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/inhalant-abuse/HQ00923). :rolleyes: In other words, I’m positing that weed is the least of their recrational drug choices, and possibly the most “harmless”. ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/17 "2006-03-09T07:56:33Z")
> [@Argent Towers](#): > > Violent behavior goes hand in hand with alcohol, not marijuana. [Tell me about it](http://www.edmontonsun.com/News/Edmonton/2006/03/07/1476294-sun.html) **Marley23** If I _explain_ it then it won’t be funny anymore. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/18 "2006-03-09T08:04:52Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > A “joke?” What the motherFUCK, you numbnuts? Well, it was _kinda_ funny (at first anyway, then it got old… "Yes, we’ve seen this already, why don’t you burn something _new_? A synagogue maybe or a women’s clinic or a string of Waffle Houses or gas stations that are closed for the night. Arson’s a tough and competetive business- you’re only as good as your last vandalism and the public’s got a short memory. ---
**Author:** ![Jotun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@Jotun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jotun)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/19 "2006-03-09T08:06:49Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > Geeze, I don’t follow the news all that often (I can’t imagine why :rolleyes:), but I happened to catch this on the news a few days ago. I remember thinking it was probably some racist group, like the KKK or something (I didn’t hear that they were mainly white churches). I’m as hard an atheist as any you’ll ever meet. When a church is destoyed by an earthquake, mudslide or meteor strike (as long as _no one_ was injured, so don’t send angry emails!) I get a little tingle of satisfactory smugness. But, this…this just pisses me off. If these fuckers are guilty, I hope they get the maximum they can get for whatever they can be charged with. I’m glad I’m not alone. There were a few churches that closed around here due to poor attendence. I remember having that exact feeling you describe. There was a story in the newspaper, and they quoted someone saying something along the lines of “I have no idea why we couldn’t find more worshippers!”. I thought it would be sort of obvious. Hey…my first hijack! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646/20 "2006-03-09T08:46:26Z")
> [@](#): > > May our girlfriends be concerned about our safety, Clearly they should be. Or at least the safety of those who have to live in society with you. > [@](#): > > may our parents be clueless, Apparently they were. > [@](#): > > may our beers be frosty, Considering how many you must have consumed for this to seem like a good JOKE, they must have been. > [@](#): > > may our love lives be fruitful, Oh they probably will be now. At least in ways you never imagined. I imagine there ain’t nuthin’ like being 19 or 20 in federal prison to make your love lives fruitful. :eek: > [@](#): > > may our weed be green as the freshly mowed grass! What a bunch of spoiled, silver spoon fed, little shits you bastards are! Under age, but you sure as shit know where to get plenty of beer. And weed. So guess what? Let’s go driving around in the SUV Mom and Dad gave you, with our hunting rifles of course and find something to do 'cause we’re BORED!!! The more times I read this article I see them as being overindulged little turds with very disinterested parents. And a strong sense of being entitled to entertainment at all times, oblivious to the effect on anyone else. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-college-students-arrested-for-setting-church-fires-in-alabama/347646.md?page=2)