# Idiot friend of the family, who has sex with underage girls **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 9, 2009, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965 "2009-11-09T23:52:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2009, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/41 "2009-11-11T23:52:33Z")
Missed the edit window. Someone asked his age. He’s in his late 40s. ---
**Author:** ![Rumor\_Watkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@Rumor\_Watkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rumor_Watkins)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/42 "2009-11-12T00:44:16Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Does it really matter if it was done that way, though? We did a lot of really awful things back then. It’s not an argument one way or the other. it’s helpful to remember - when people are ready to burn a guy at the stake, register him as a sex offender for the rest of his life, chemically castrate him, and consider him to be the lowest form of pond scum - that this type of “deviant” behavior isn’t a “crime” known to history. it’s not to say that punishment is without justification or inappropriate, but maybe the degree to which we demonize these people is neither just nor appropriate - after all, we are dealing crimes that criminalize the basest of human impulses and, in certain circumstances, there is no victim save the mores of society. ---
**Author:** ![Cesario](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Cesario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cesario)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/43 "2009-11-13T01:14:00Z")
> [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](#): > > How about presumed innocent until admitted guilty? > The trial hasn’t started yet, but he has admitted guilt to the police. > > As for age, 14, but it really doesn’t matter. > As long as she was below the age of consent, it is illegal. > Even if she begged him, it is illegal, and hell, the age of consent exists because kids that age do stupid things, and the adults are supposed to know better. > Add the fact that he was her coach, and in a position of authority, and it only gets better. The age of consent exists in order to provide a means for fathers to punish individuals who devalued the bride-prices of their daughters. Its current position is a byproduct of a lot of late 19th century scaremongering by reactionary christian group who felt threatened by women’s liberation. (There were some legitimate issues going on around that time, but age of consent did nothing to address the significant underlying problems for women in that period.) ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/44 "2009-11-13T01:23:51Z")
> [@Cesario](#): > > The age of consent exists in order to provide a means for fathers to punish individuals who devalued the bride-prices of their daughters. > > Its current position is a byproduct of a lot of late 19th century scaremongering by reactionary christian group who felt threatened by women’s liberation. (There were some legitimate issues going on around that time, but age of consent did nothing to address the significant underlying problems for women in that period.) Trust him, he’s a pedophile. ---
**Author:** ![Cesario](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Cesario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cesario)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/45 "2009-11-13T01:41:19Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Trust him, he’s a pedophile. Motivates one to do research on this sort of topic. ---
**Author:** ![Terraplane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/46 "2009-11-13T02:37:17Z")
Cesario, when you notice that you consistently end up on the other side of the overwhelming majority of opinion on this issue, do you ever question yourself and think that maybe your own desires are what drive you to your conclusions? I’m not saying that the majority is always right, I think they’re often far from it, I’m just curious if you factor that possible bias into your thought process. ---
**Author:** ![Cesario](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Cesario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cesario)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/47 "2009-11-13T03:25:45Z")
> [@omgzebras](#): > > Cesario, when you notice that you consistently end up on the other side of the overwhelming majority of opinion on this issue, do you ever question yourself and think that maybe your own desires are what drive you to your conclusions? I’m not saying that the majority is always right, I think they’re often far from it, I’m just curious if you factor that possible bias into your thought process. It’s hard to continue taking that line of reasoning seriously once you recognize that the majority of people are fucking idiots. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/48 "2009-11-13T03:27:29Z")
> [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](#): > > How about presumed innocent until admitted guilty? > The trial hasn’t started yet, but he has admitted guilt to the police. > > . Too many innocent people do that, too.☹ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/49 "2009-11-13T03:43:56Z")
> [@Cesario](#): > > It’s hard to continue taking that line of reasoning seriously once you recognize that the majority of people are fucking idiots. That doesn’t mean you’re NOT a fucking idiot as well. ---
**Author:** ![Cesario](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Cesario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cesario)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/50 "2009-11-13T03:47:22Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > That doesn’t mean you’re NOT a fucking idiot as well. Of course it doesn’t. Just means that appeals to majority lose a lot of their sting. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/51 "2009-11-13T03:58:15Z")
I’ve lived in a society where a 30+ man marrying a fifteen year old girl was considered a pretty normal and positive arrangement. In this same society, I saw marriages of girls as young as 12 years old, often to men many decades their senior. An elderly man marrying a pre-pubescent girl might provoke some gossip (“She doesn’t even have the body of a woman!” was a frequent phrase) but people would still go to the wedding for the free booze. You know what? It sucked for the girls. Even though it was socially acceptable, it was still measurably and objectively bad for the girl’s physical and mental development, and lead to countless problems in the community. Any relationship with an unequal power balance is going to have a winner and a lose. And any relationship that is entered on two different premises is going to cause problems. ---
**Author:** ![Cesario](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Cesario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cesario)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/52 "2009-11-13T04:05:13Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I’ve lived in a society where a 30+ man marrying a fifteen year old girl was considered a pretty normal and positive arrangement. In this same society, I saw marriages of girls as young as 12 years old, often to men many decades their senior. An elderly man marrying a pre-pubescent girl might provoke some gossip (“She doesn’t even have the body of a woman!” was a frequent phrase) but people would still go to the wedding for the free booze. > > You know what? It sucked for the girls. Even though it was socially acceptable, it was still measurably and objectively bad for the girl’s physical and mental development, and lead to countless problems in the community. Any relationship with an unequal power balance is going to have a winner and a lose. And any relationship that is entered on two different premises is going to cause problems. And how were the age-equivalent marriages in that society for “power balance”? Best we see if we’ve isolated the significant element, after all… ---
**Author:** ![Terraplane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/53 "2009-11-13T05:54:28Z")
> [@Cesario](#): > > It’s hard to continue taking that line of reasoning seriously once you recognize that the majority of people are fucking idiots. As I mentioned in my post, don’t presume you’re telling me anything there that I haven’t reasoned for myself. So would you answer my question? ---
**Author:** ![Cesario](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Cesario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cesario)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/54 "2009-11-13T06:07:38Z")
> [@omgzebras](#): > > As I mentioned in my post, don’t presume you’re telling me anything there that I haven’t reasoned for myself. So would you answer my question? Fact is I’m constantly questioning my views and biases. It’s why I spend so much time in my arguments asking the oposing side to present some evidence, because that evidence would no doubt prove useful in re-evaluating the strength of my positions. As it invariably fails to arrive, (or when it arrives it actually ends up supporting my position), it helps reafirm my position’s correctness. Doesn’t just happen when the majority are aligned against me either. In fact, when the oposition has been pared down to the gems (thus improving the signal to noise ratio) is the time I’ve ended up dealing with some of the hardest, most interesting questions. Does that help? ---
**Author:** ![Terraplane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/55 "2009-11-13T06:11:52Z")
> [@Cesario](#): > > Fact is I’m constantly questioning my views and biases. It’s why I spend so much time in my arguments asking the oposing side to present some evidence, because that evidence would no doubt prove useful in re-evaluating the strength of my positions. > > As it invariably fails to arrive, (or when it arrives it actually ends up supporting my position), it helps reafirm my position’s correctness. > > Doesn’t just happen when the majority are aligned against me either. In fact, when the oposition has been pared down to the gems (thus improving the signal to noise ratio) is the time I’ve ended up dealing with some of the hardest, most interesting questions. > > Does that help? Yes. Thank you. What questions have been the hardest for you to deal with? ---
**Author:** ![Cesario](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Cesario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cesario)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/56 "2009-11-13T06:32:21Z")
> [@omgzebras](#): > > Yes. Thank you. What questions have been the hardest for you to deal with? I started to answer this, but it occurs to me that I’m still waiting on the moderators to make a decision on that “ask a pedo” thread. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/57 "2009-11-13T19:25:31Z")
Who needs to look to history for [child brides](http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-india-child-bride13-2009nov13,0,3501031.story?page=1)? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/58 "2009-11-13T19:38:04Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > Who needs to look to history for [child brides](http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-india-child-bride13-2009nov13,0,3501031.story?page=1)? Silly, **Cat Fight**. Young girls who don’t want to marry decrepit abusive old goats have been brainwashed into society into thinking it’s icky. You know, the same society that’s encouraging them to marry young. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/59 "2009-11-14T04:10:05Z")
> [@Cesario](#): > > As it invariably fails to arrive, (or when it arrives it actually ends up supporting my position), it helps reafirm my position’s correctness. Correction: most of what DOES arrive, is biased and so it can’t be trusted. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965/60 "2009-11-14T08:54:45Z")
Cesario , you aren’t doing yourself any favors here. Just because children married in the past is no reason to continue the practice given that these girls are at a disadvantage, and THEY DIE in childbirth. There is no reason for any child anywhere of any religion to get married so young. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-friend-of-the-family-who-has-sex-with-underage-girls/516965.md?page=4)