# Idiot, I don't care why your dog NEEDS to poop on my yard **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 5, 2011, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250 "2011-02-05T04:00:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2015, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250/121 "2015-05-23T15:19:36Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Do you avoid water hoses also? > > If she’s telling the truth that his bowels are so unstable he has to poop whenever they ride in a car then making him go for a ride in a car every day is animal cruelty. Unless one of those rides is to the vet. I bet either a deworming or some probiotics and decent pet food would take care of the poop problem. Sadly, it wouldn’t fix the owner problem. ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2015, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250/122 "2015-05-23T15:49:22Z")
Every time I hear or read a complaint about dog poop, I think to myself, “Here is somebody who did not grow up in a farming community.” It’s probably my background, but I simply CANNOT understand the extreme hatred/disgust/loathing that so many people have for a small quantity of animal excrement. It’s a simple fact of life, people! Get over it! Your ancestors dealt with far greater quantities on a daily basis. They survived just fine. You will survive just fine, too. Just pay attention to where you put your feet. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2015, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250/123 "2015-05-23T17:26:37Z")
Welcome to civilization, **Flyer**. Please pick up after yourself and those for whom you are responsible, as a courtesy to others. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2015, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250/124 "2015-05-23T17:42:33Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > Your ancestors dealt with far greater quantities on a daily basis. They survived just fine. Yeah, but we don’t have the option of just picking up and moving when the poop pile gets too big. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2015, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250/125 "2015-05-23T18:17:05Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > Your ancestors dealt with far greater quantities on a daily basis. They survived just fine. No, they fucking-well _didn’t_. They died in droves from [shit-borne](http://www.historic-uk.com/HistoryUK/HistoryofBritain/Great-Horse-Manure-Crisis-of-1894/) [diseases](http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/06/09/when-horses-posed-a-public-health-hazard/) or had shitty quality of life from the same. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2015, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250/126 "2015-05-23T20:26:12Z")
I’m just gonna leave this here > **[Great Ideas - The Energy Grid](https://theenergygrid.com/generic/?heading=Dogs%20Cats%20and%20other%20pets%20need%20diapers%20to%20keep%20them%20clean%20and%20dry%20&title=Diapers%20for%20Dogs%20Cats%20and%20Pets&results=Pet%20Diapers)** > > Inquire about this domain here. hmm… if zombies poop on your lawn, who picks it up? ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250/127 "2015-05-24T01:12:32Z")
I don’t like it when neighbors let their dogs poop on my lawn and don’t bother to bag it and dispose of it in a sanitary fashion. Like virtually all of you, I enjoy frolicking about on my front lawn wearing nothing but a pair of tight Speedos. No shoes, no hat—nothing but my Speedos. Well, there’s nothing I love more while cavorting about on my lawn, in my Speedos, than having maggot infested dog poop ooze between all 8 of my interdigital web spaces. _“Poop Between My Toes”_ would make a fine sentimental love song title, I do believe. Alright, I confess—that’s not entirely true. I actually don’t like poop oozing between my toes. I was being _“sarcastic”_. Truth be told, maggot infested poop oozing between my toes is one of my least favorite activities—just above watching an Adam Sandler movie. But, how does a fellow like me get his point across to psychopathic dog-poop leaving neighbors? Yes, I have a dog, but my dog is a [schnoodle](http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/images19/SchnoodlePawleigh2YearsOld.JPG) —half poodle, half miniature schnauzer. Sure, I could walk my schnoodle over to the offending neighbor’s lawn and have her poop all over the place…but, her poops are about the size of hamster poops—you need a magnifying glass to even see those tiny brown footballs. Bottom line: message not received. So, I’ve taken a different tactic with the poop-leavers in my neighborhood. After they’ve exceeded 3 unresolved poops on my lawn, I go to their homes, and pose as a Fuller Brush man, or a Rainbow/Electrolux or Kirby vacuum door to door salesman and gain entrance into their living rooms. But, instead of extoling the benefits of my overpriced wares, I instead pull down my trousers and my underpants and plant my bare naked ass directly on their wall to wall carpeting, or better still, their expensive hand weaved Turkish parquet. Then, I proceed to butt-scoot back and forth, to and fro, back and forth, across their precious flooring. My sales patter is something like this during my butt-scoot boogie: _“I appreciate you and your mega-colon pooch decorating my front lawn with pieces of shi… Avant-garde works of art, and I wish to return the favor with my performance art piece, entitled, “Streaks of Brown.”_ ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250/128 "2015-05-24T02:27:55Z")
> [@Tibby or Not Tibby](#): > > Like virtually all of you, I enjoy frolicking about on my front lawn wearing nothing but a pair of tight Speedos. You should speak with your minister or physician. Now. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2015, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250/129 "2015-05-24T04:56:50Z")
Not dog poop related but entitled idiot related… Used to live in a house where the front yard was a rock garden, mostly gravel sized with small boulders every so often. Started coming home to find someone had shoveled the gravel into a giant pile blocking the side walk, also had piled up the small boulders.:mad: Pain in the ass to clean up and put back. Couple days later come home, same damn mess but this time there is a boy around 7 with a shovel and toy cars there with his father I presumed watching with a smile on his face. “Uh what the hell are you letting him do? Would you please have him clean this mess up and leave” “Oh he is just playing” “Well clean it up and go play somewhere else” “Excuse me? This is a play area you can’t tell us to leave” “WTF THIS IS MY YARD, MY PROPERTY” “Why would you put this here if kids can’t play?” On and on, and yes they ran off leaving a mess a second time. These were not the last parents with kids that took a rock garden front yard for somehow being a community play area. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2015, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250/130 "2015-05-25T18:38:17Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Bumping a zombie thread - Check > Dog shitting thread - check Troll jumps in to tell everyone to just deal with it- Check ---
**Author:** ![pabstist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e99b99/32.png) [@pabstist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pabstist)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250/131 "2015-05-26T02:36:44Z")
I had to yell at an adult to get his kids to stop riding their bikes in my yard. He says to me- “But mister it’s a bus stop, so where else are they supposed to play?” Umm, I don’t know, the bus stop is on the sidewalk, NOT IN MY FUCKING YARD! A school bus stop in front of my house does not make my yard a public playground… A nice white picket fence has kept the kids out. ---
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250/132 "2015-05-26T03:19:58Z")
> [@Tibby or Not Tibby](#): > > I don’t like it when neighbors let their dogs poop on my lawn and don’t bother to bag it and dispose of it in a sanitary fashion. > > Like virtually all of you, I enjoy frolicking about on my front lawn wearing nothing but a pair of tight Speedos. No shoes, no hat—nothing but my Speedos. > > Well, there’s nothing I love more while cavorting about on my lawn, in my Speedos, than having maggot infested dog poop ooze between all 8 of my interdigital web spaces. _“Poop Between My Toes”_ would make a fine sentimental love song title, I do believe. > > Alright, I confess—that’s not entirely true. I actually don’t like poop oozing between my toes. I was being _“sarcastic”_. Truth be told, maggot infested poop oozing between my toes is one of my least favorite activities—just above watching an Adam Sandler movie. > > But, how does a fellow like me get his point across to psychopathic dog-poop leaving neighbors? Yes, I have a dog, but my dog is a [schnoodle](http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/images19/SchnoodlePawleigh2YearsOld.JPG) —half poodle, half miniature schnauzer. Sure, I could walk my schnoodle over to the offending neighbor’s lawn and have her poop all over the place…but, her poops are about the size of hamster poops—you need a magnifying glass to even see those tiny brown footballs. Bottom line: message not received. > > So, I’ve taken a different tactic with the poop-leavers in my neighborhood. After they’ve exceeded 3 unresolved poops on my lawn, I go to their homes, and pose as a Fuller Brush man, or a Rainbow/Electrolux or Kirby vacuum door to door salesman and gain entrance into their living rooms. But, instead of extoling the benefits of my overpriced wares, I instead pull down my trousers and my underpants and plant my bare naked ass directly on their wall to wall carpeting, or better still, their expensive hand weaved Turkish parquet. Then, I proceed to butt-scoot back and forth, to and fro, back and forth, across their precious flooring. My sales patter is something like this during my butt-scoot boogie: _“I appreciate you and your mega-colon pooch decorating my front lawn with pieces of shi… Avant-garde works of art, and I wish to return the favor with my performance art piece, entitled, “Streaks of Brown.”_ I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this post, but it is thePIT so I will laugh. Also up-thread…I did not know Zombies pooped. :smack: Ignorance Fought once again. Thank you SDMB! ---
**Author:** ![russian\_heel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f05b48/32.png) [@russian\_heel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/russian_heel)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2015, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250/133 "2015-05-26T06:19:12Z")
Two years ago I fostered a dog who after filling my bag with dog poop, I mistakenly let off some slack on her leash, and she drizzle shitted all on a neighbors yard. I was so embarrassed I walked her back into our house, and walked the block back to that neighbors yard with another bag, paper towel and a bottle of water and cleaned it up. How this stupid twat cant even have the decency to at least pick up her dogs shit is a mystery to me you were right to confront her and show her how stupid she really is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiot-i-dont-care-why-your-dog-needs-to-poop-on-my-yard/570250.md?page=6)