# Idiots holding candle-light vigils for Michael Jackson **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 23, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847 "2003-11-23T16:15:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/21 "2003-11-24T04:03:16Z")
I think that if I were Black and got arrested, when the cops tell me I get one phone call, I’d call Cochran. [ul]Cochran: Hello, who’s there? Monty: Johnny, I just got arrested. Oh, I think I should tell you that I’m Black. Cochran: GREAT! What can I do for you? Me: DON’T FREAKING HELP ME! STAY OFF MY CASE! LEAVE THE PLANET IF YOU HAVE TO BUT STAY A BAZILLION MILES AWAY! Got that? Thanks.[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/22 "2003-11-24T04:15:05Z")
> [@](#): > > "It’s really hard for us,’’ said Pascale Hatot, a 37-year-old fan from the suburbs of Paris. "I haven’t been able to sleep or eat for three days.’’ MY GOD! WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE 37-YEAR OLD FRENCHMEN! ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/23 "2003-11-24T04:17:14Z")
> [@](#): > > I certainly hope Johnny doesn’t use the “If it don’t fit, you must acquit” statement though Why not? It has a proven success rate of getting the obviously guilty off the hook. ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/24 "2003-11-24T04:53:28Z")
Beacause no one wants to see the demonstration where he tries to fit. For being on this board so long, **gobear** , you sure have a clean mind. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tolyri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@tolyri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tolyri)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/25 "2003-11-24T04:55:29Z")
I’m with ya on the crowds. I’m not much of a talker here, but I think if I said that I had 2 kegs tomorrow night I could get more than six dopers to show up. (Please don’t come, I’m lying about the kegs.) I saw an interview with Jermaine about a year ago. He mentioned that his son, JERMAJESTY (what the fuck kind of name is that?), idolized MJ, but that HE HAD NEVER MET THE MAN! Never even met his own uncle! I would assume that Jermaine knows Michael better than I do, and if he won’t let his own son spend time with him… Someone needs to file neglect charges on these parents. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/26 "2003-11-24T04:57:08Z")
Johny Cochrane’s closing argument was not a ‘circus stunt’. The glove, the prima facie evidence, found at the murder scene, did not fit OJ’s hand in court. The prosecution never proved that OJ bought those particular pair of gloves. But water causing shrinking of gloves? Yea right. Then why bother wearing a pair of gloves during blizzards and snowstorms, or in cold weather period? Doesn’t any of these conditions cause ‘shrinkage’ as well? And why should a jury, aby jury, buy that theory over the simple explanation that the gloves don’t fit? And people say that those jurors were stupid. The prosecution made horrrific mistakes, and the defense team took advantage of them. ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/27 "2003-11-24T05:06:46Z")
As you can see, **capacitor** is still charged up over the Simpson trial. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/28 "2003-11-24T05:15:51Z")
He tried the glove on over a latex glove. Of course it wouldn’t fit. At any rate, dude, this ain’t about O.J. ---
**Author:** ![Creative\_Munster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Creative\_Munster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creative_Munster)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/29 "2003-11-24T05:29:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monty \* > \*\*I think that if I were Black and got arrested, when the cops tell me I get one phone call, I’d call Cochran. > [ul]Cochran: Hello, who’s there? > Monty: Johnny, I just got arrested. Oh, I think I should tell you that I’m Black. > Cochran: GREAT! What can I do for you? > Me: DON’T FREAKING HELP ME! STAY OFF MY CASE! LEAVE THE PLANET IF YOU HAVE TO BUT STAY A BAZILLION MILES AWAY! Got that? Thanks.[/ul] \*\* Why would you do that? He gets obviously guilty people off by playing the race card. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by capacitor \* > \*\*Johny Cochrane’s closing argument was not a ‘circus stunt’. The glove, the prima facie evidence, found at the murder scene, did not fit OJ’s hand in court. The prosecution never proved that OJ bought those particular pair of gloves. > > And people say that those jurors were stupid. The prosecution made horrrific mistakes, and the defense team took advantage of them. \*\* Those pair of gloves were the tight fitting type to begin with, and I’m sure OJ was doing his damndest to make sure they didn’t fit when he was told to put them on. Besides who cares about the damn gloves? His blood, his DNA was everywhere. If the jury wasn’t stupid, they deliberately freed an obviously guilty man because of his race. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/30 "2003-11-24T05:31:51Z")
Guys, take the O.J. highjacks elsewhere. At any rate, these fans are just as deluded as Jacko himself it seems. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/31 "2003-11-24T05:55:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Governor Quinn \* > \*\*Only six in Montreal. Now, that’s truly pathetic. > > Hell, there are Dopers who could organize a better rally. \*\* Yeah. We do it all the time. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/32 "2003-11-24T06:17:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Oh, but see, his new ALBUM came out! And that’s why they did this! \*\* There is so much critical buzz about Jackson’s newest effort that most industry insiders expect the album to go ALUMINUM!. The prosecution is clearly trying to prevent him from profiting. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/33 "2003-11-24T07:06:05Z")
No, wait…I can see Johnny Cochran’s strategy unfolding now! The ENTIRE Santa Barbara police dept./sheriff’s dept. arein on a conspiracy! And, that single glove don’t fit, you mus’ acquit! (How long has it been since Jackson wore that single glove?) ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/34 "2003-11-24T07:06:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tapioca Dextrin \* > \*\*They all turned up to supprt him in various spots throughout the world. In an amazing show of support, the voices of 30 fans in New York were overwhelmed by the 60 who showed up in Paris, but beat out the mass turn out of 25 in Los Angeles. \*\* From that article: > [@](#): > > Stuart Backerman, a spokesman for the Jackson family, said he had received “hundreds” of supportive emails. So if everyone who attended a vigil sent an email, that would make 115. Sounds about right. 🙂 This is a man whose has sold 165 million records worldwide. All those people actually ponied up money for Jackson’s records, yet only “hundreds” can be bothered to fire off a free email in MJ’s darkest hour? That’s a pretty pathetic show of support. What kind of idiot holds a non-response like that up as a badge of honor? ---
**Author:** ![Caesar\_Disgustus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Caesar\_Disgustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caesar_Disgustus)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/35 "2003-11-24T08:19:57Z")
How about the “Billy Gene’s not my lover” defense? ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/36 "2003-11-24T11:08:03Z")
_Gavin Arvizo is not my lover -whoo He’s just a boy who said that I am the one but I was with someone else son_ ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/37 "2003-11-24T11:26:30Z")
I hear they’re going to make an opera of the trial. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/38 "2003-11-24T11:43:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by A Monkey With a Gun \* > \*\*There is so much critical buzz about Jackson’s newest effort that most industry insiders expect the album to go ALUMINUM!. \*\* Can’t let your post go without some congratulations **Monkey**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/39 "2003-11-24T11:54:57Z")
> [@](#): > > He gets obviously guilty people off by playing the race card. In this case, though, the defendant would need, well, a race. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847/40 "2003-11-24T12:33:06Z")
Only one? Jacko can pick and choose! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-holding-candle-light-vigils-for-michael-jackson/214847.md?page=3)