# Idiots! Idiots! Idiots! I Can't Stop Screaming It! Idiots! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 15, 2002, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068 "2002-08-15T19:22:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/1 "2002-08-15T19:22:20Z")
Read the fucking link!!! > **[Hapless teens' trapdoor woes](https://www.theage.com.au/world/hapless-teens-trapdoor-woes-20020814-gduhr5.html)** Morons ! Dolts! Schmucks! Elderberry-snorting hamster-lovers! **GODDAM ULTRA-MONKEYS! YOU ALL KNOW WHAT AN ULTRA-MONKEY IS, DON’TCHA!?! IT’S A GODDAM FILTHY RAT’S ASSHOLE APE THAT STANDS ON ONE FOOT WHILE USING THE OTHER FOOT & BOTH ARMS TO CRAM TWO BANANAS IN ITS DROOPLING YAP AT THE SAME TIME, PICK ITS SCAB-ENCRUSTED SNOUT, & GATHER UP ITS FECES TO FLING AT INNOCENT & VIRTIOUS PASSERBY, ALL IN ONE DEFT MOVEMENT!** \ ☹ Just when I start thinking there’s hope for Mankind, I read something like this, & realize we should just hand the planet over to the lemurs or tree shrews or something. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/2 "2002-08-15T19:34:23Z")
I found this funny. Hardly anything worth getting one’s boxers in a bunch, though. ---
**Author:** ![KalliopeCU](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7bcc69/32.png) [@KalliopeCU](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KalliopeCU)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/3 "2002-08-15T19:45:42Z")
Well we could **try** to hand it over to lemurs, but I think there’s a chance that we would get the handing-over gesture wrong. Sigh, the planet’s doomed again. Kalliope ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/4 "2002-08-15T19:48:30Z")
I can’t believe they’re admiting it. Publicly! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/5 "2002-08-15T19:54:23Z")
What I found humorous was the estimation it’d still have taken 'em 5 freakin minutes to get out even if they’d pulled on the door. _Which way do we go? Which way do we go?_ ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/6 "2002-08-15T20:00:40Z")
They also freely admit that alcohol was involved. ---
**Author:** ![RickQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@RickQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickQ)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/7 "2002-08-15T20:05:07Z")
LMAO. I just think this is funny. I agree with **Arden Ranger** too, I can’t believe anyone would admit to this. It reminds me of a Farside cartoon Midvale school for the gifted Rick (link removed - see below) ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/8 "2002-08-15T20:14:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickQ \* > \*\*LMAO. > I can’t believe anyone would admit to this. > \*\* Well, there are plenty of “what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?” threads here… But maybe I say too much. > [@](#): > > \*\*It reminds me of a Farside cartoon > \*\* Glad I’m not the only one. ---
**Author:** ![DarkWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee59a6/32.png) [@DarkWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkWriter)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/9 "2002-08-15T20:27:02Z")
Why would they even tell this to reporters? You’d think they would swear to keep it to themselves instead of letting the world know. Sheri ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/10 "2002-08-15T20:31:21Z")
Well, the truly sad thing is that they presumably had \* just gone through the door one minute before \* and should therefore remember which way it opened. That certainly places them in the dumber-than-rocks category. Let’s see: a. Basic memory. F. b. Understanding of basic principles of mechanics. F. c. Creativity (moving the insulation or yelling out a window). F. d. Beer and snacks handy. A. e. 17 hours without restroom facilities after drinking beer and eating snacks. F– ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/11 "2002-08-15T21:06:50Z")
I think it’s fake. If they went to the attic to retreive items they’d previously hidden there, as the story says, then they had successfully opened and closed the door before. I don’t buy it. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/12 "2002-08-15T21:51:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KalliopeCU \* > \*\*Well we could **try** to hand it over to lemurs, but I think there’s a chance that we would get the handing-over gesture wrong. Sigh, the planet’s doomed again. > > Kalliope \*\* Or, we could give it to **two** lemurs. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/13 "2002-08-15T22:23:44Z")
Those are smart. Let them evolve for a million years and we won’t be missed. Or, in the case of these kids, no evolution is necessary. An octopus would have been out in 6 seconds, a raccoon in 5. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/14 "2002-08-15T23:58:40Z")
Whew. When I saw the link (The Age) I was sure it was going to be some dumb thing that someone here in Melbourne had done. Then I noticed it was in World News, so I breathed a sigh of relief. NOBODY in Melb. would be so stupid. Had to be a Pom. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/15 "2002-08-16T00:23:55Z")
See people like that give me HOPE for the human race. People that stupid can’t end the universe:) It takes the high quailty stupidity of people who ask, “What would happen if we created an infinate amount of antimatter in in the middle of a black hole” to end the universe as we know it. People like those in the news story well just get trapped in bathroom stalls and flood the bathroom 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/16 "2002-08-16T01:50:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > \*\* > > \ > > ☹ > > Just when I start thinking there’s hope for Mankind, I read something like this, & realize we should just hand the planet over to the lemurs or tree shrews or something. \*\* I guess you’re our only hope. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/17 "2002-08-16T06:12:19Z")
The sad thing is, I’m from the same town as these morons. ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/18 "2002-08-16T10:22:28Z")
I read this in the _Daily Mail_. They even let the reporters put photos of them in the newspaper! ---
**Author:** ![Reuben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/54ee81/32.png) [@Reuben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reuben)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/19 "2002-08-16T10:37:43Z")
17 years old… they’ll be doing A-levels this year or next. It’s a safe bet they’ll get straight As. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/20 "2002-08-16T11:37:17Z")
All of a sudden, I’m glad my family emigrated! Forget lemurs – a couple of good Lancashire types could have figured it out after a couple of beers! 🙂 CJ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068.md?page=2)