# Idiots! Idiots! Idiots! I Can't Stop Screaming It! Idiots! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 15, 2002, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068 "2002-08-15T19:22:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/21 "2002-08-16T11:45:13Z")
“Tree shrews”? ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/22 "2002-08-16T11:47:56Z")
You know what’s even funnier about this story, apart from how far and wide it’s been communicated? It’s a hoax. > [@](#): > > Oh dear. The **Daily Mail** isn’t having a very good week. After last week’s front-page subbing cockup, page 14 of today’s paper has a story about a 17-year-old teenage tearaway who planned a party while his parents were away. Alistair Wood and his mates stashed drinks and food in the loft but, cripes, when they went to retrieve it they got trapped in the loft for 27 hours. “That left Alistair, known as Ali, sitting folornly beneath the rafters all Saturday night with his friends… As they wondered if they would ever be freed, they were at least able to sustain themselves on the party fare of crisps, sausage rolls and beer,” informs the **Mail**. Perfect silly season fare, you might think, tinged with a nice moral lesson on why teenage boys shouldn’t contemplate having a party when their folks are away. Except, except… the story was a hoax. As soon as a local radio presenter James Heming saw the story he clocked Wood as the same boy who had previously claimed to save his mate from drowning while wearing a Superman T-shirt. So he dug out the phone number for Wood, who admitted he, er, made it all up. That’ll be another tough job for the immigrant cleaners at the **Mail** then. (from [Media Guardian](http://media.guardian.co.uk/)’s diary column). Hoax, hoax, hoax. ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/23 "2002-08-16T11:53:25Z")
:o (on behalf of the _Daily Mail_ ;)) It was quite believable though. What was the front page subbing cockup? ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/24 "2002-08-16T11:55:58Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh not to be a poor news editor, sub, writer or lowly production worker at the **Daily Mail** today. There is nothing the editor Paul Dacre hates more than inaccuracies (we’ll exclude working women for today). And today there is a whopper in page one’s story about the two 10-year-old girls missing since Sunday. Holly Wells, is mistakenly called Holly Evans. And the mistake is repeated on the inside spread on page eight. And it ran through all editions. Pity the poor immigrants who have to clean the blood from the carpets today. ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/25 "2002-08-16T11:57:26Z")
P.S For non-Brits. The _Guardian_ is generally regarded as the UK’s most left-wing national paper. A UK term for left-wingers is “Guardianistas” The _Daily Mail_ is almost certainly the most right-wing paper (especially if you don’t count the extremely downmarket Sun). Hence “immigrant cleaners” ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/26 "2002-08-16T11:58:43Z")
**The Guardian** is also known as **The Grauniad** after a spell in the 1970s and 1980s where the ability to proof-read was apparently lacking from its journalistic and editorial staff. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/27 "2002-08-16T12:04:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crusoe \* > \*\*Hoax, hoax, hoax. \*\* Nasty cough you got there, **Crusoe**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/28 "2002-08-16T12:27:40Z")
Heh. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/29 "2002-08-16T13:50:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MyFootsZZZ \* > \*\* > > I guess you’re our only hope. :rolleyes: \*\* Next up on MTV, Star Wars: The teen angst version. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/30 "2002-08-16T15:02:11Z")
The link to a Far Side column was removed. Please read this [letter from Far Side Creator Gary Larson](http://www.creators.com/index2_anotefromgarylarson.html), stating his desire that people not scan in those comics and post them on their own website. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068/31 "2002-08-16T16:08:34Z")
Ok if you want stupid this is for real. I used to work at a small movie theatre with some real morons. I give one woman the keys and tell her to go unlock the front door. She came back after five minutes and said > [@](#): > > _originally said by an idiot_ > I couldn’t figure out which way to turn it. must , stop, fist of death… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idiots-idiots-idiots-i-cant-stop-screaming-it-idiots/124068.md?page=1)