# Idle Thoughts, maybe don't attempt to learn an instrument
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093
**Category:** About This Message Board
**Created:** [September 17, 2013, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093 "2013-09-17T20:47:46Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/1 "2013-09-17T20:47:46Z")
Because you are tone deaf. I am absolutely stunned at your actions in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16670859) moderating a clearly severely depressed Yorikke. Listen, I understand the need in a very shitty situation to still do your job, and keep hijacks to a minimum, but this is handing out jaywalking tickets during a riot. On a list of the ten best ways to diffuse a situation like that, I think your method comes in at around #17. You honestly couldn’t think of a better way to react than “here’s (sincerely) hoping you don’t kill yourself, but we have a very important discussion about Egg McMuffins in progress here!”?
I honestly don’t know what to say. If I were you, I would be deeply embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/2 "2013-09-17T20:51:04Z")
Whaaaaaaaat? The mods are now responsible for people’s mental health as well? They need to what, allow hijacks - rude and obnoxious ones - to continue?
Really, what did you expect Idle Thoughts to do?
Jesus fucking christ, there was a time I actually thought I wanted to be a mod.
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### Author:  [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/3 "2013-09-17T20:55:01Z")
> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> Whaaaaaaaat? The mods are now responsible for people’s mental health as well?
Of course not - what part of my post suggested anything of the sort?
> [@](#):
>
> They need to what, allow hijacks - rude and obnoxious ones - to continue?
Didn’t say that either - in fact, I admitted their need to still do their jobs.
> [@](#):
>
> Really, what did you expect Idle Thoughts to do?
Remove his posts? Send a PM? Temporarily close the thread? Use an ounce of common sense? Have a single iota of compassion? Like I said - it’s a shitty situation for a mod to be in, but IT’s actions were tone deaf and ham-handed.
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### Author:  [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/4 "2013-09-17T21:06:03Z")
Well, let’s go over the events. First thing that happened was [his post here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16670859&postcount=5), which definitely was over the line and (IMO) deserved the warning it got. No sign or post about depression prior or in that post.
Then he continued with [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16670962&postcount=10), even after getting the warning (which he must have seen by that point, as that was in reply to a post made after it).
Note that half of that post is still threadshitting after he was warned (“Wah, you have no idea about depression”), however, I didn’t give him a warning for that one after reading the second sentence of that post and considering the fact something may be going on in his life. I did, however, tell him to stop posting in that thread, which I still think was the reasonable and right response.
Again, he ignored that and seemed to want to keep hijacking it.
Now, I did feel sympathy and concern…but I really don’t know what could have been done differently. It was a member who was clearly going off the rails at that moment, having a bit of a meltdown, and needing to be seen to right away. Therefore, I did what I thought was best, suspending him for the moment (a day) and then contacting him via email to make sure everything was okay.
As for removing posts, as mods, we don’t do that…or rather, it’s the last resort sort of thing. Closing the thread didn’t need to be done since it was a thread that was just fine save for one member having a problem in it that extended into personal life…so again, I felt the best course of action would be to fix what seemed to be a minor meltdown happening by making it so they didn’t make a mistake in posting things that they may have regretted later.
As for compassion, I showed much of that in the email I sent directly afterwards to him, immediately following his suspension (which has since been replied to and worked out).
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/5 "2013-09-17T21:15:16Z")
I’m sure it’s motivated only by concern for **Yorikke** ’s health, but it looks an awful lot like you are interpreting those posts in bad faith, **Munch**. There’s not very much we can do when someone posts stuff like that: we try to keep the thread on track and minimize public reaction, and we try to make sure the poster is OK in private. **Idle Thoughts** did all of that. There’s nothing wrong with this:
> [@Modified Egg Mcmuffin - Healthy?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/modified-egg-mcmuffin-healthy/668985/15):
>
> You’ve been warned to take the personal stuff out of this thread and not post in it again. This is another warning and you have a one day suspension.
>
> Here’s (sincerely) hoping you’re still around after that time, but you’ll still have to follow the rules.
>
> * * *
>
> Let’s get back to the topic at hand, people.
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### Author:  [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/6 "2013-09-17T21:47:14Z")
Thank you for your quick and thorough response, Idle Thoughts. Going through it again, I absolutely see your point regarding your first two actions. Those, in the flow of the thread, are certainly understandable, reasonable and consistent. And I’m also relieved to hear that there was quite a bit going on behind the scenes, and that an email was sent. That certainly isn’t a responsibility of yours, and it’s nice to see that you went that extra step. Please accept my apology for calling you insensitive or without compassion - I definitely could have approached that better.
I dunno about not closing the thread - it’s not like a discussion about Egg McMuffins can’t be put on pause while you wait to hear back from your email or a PM, or to just allow a cooling off period (which the suspension certainly takes care of). I guess my only complaint at this point is your choice of words in your final action. It still reads as tone deaf to me - but that could certainly still be colored by my initial reaction.
> [@Marley23](#):
>
> I’m sure it’s motivated only by concern for **Yorikke** ’s health, but it looks an awful lot like you are interpreting those posts in bad faith, **Munch**.
Yup, those are certainly the only two possible ways to read my OP. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/7 "2013-09-17T21:58:15Z")
> [@Munch](#):
>
> Yup, those are certainly the only two possible ways to read my OP. :rolleyes:
Ideally there would only be one way to read your OP: that you were worried about **Yorikke**. Regardless, **Idle Thoughts** didn’t do anything wrong. You did jump to conclusions and put words in his mouth. These situations are not fun to deal with, so maybe a little less abuse would have been appropriate.
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### Author:  [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/8 "2013-09-17T22:14:29Z")
> [@Munch](#):
>
> I guess my only complaint at this point is your choice of words in your final action. It still reads as tone deaf to me - but that could certainly still be colored by my initial reaction.
I was fairly concerned, but I guess it just didn’t come out that much in those posts if it wasn’t apparent. For what it’s worth, I’ll try to sound less like a robot or drone in the future. : p
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### Author:  [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/9 "2013-09-17T22:16:17Z")
But now I want an Egg McMuffin and it’s 515pm. ☹
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### Author:  [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/10 "2013-09-17T22:19:07Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#):
>
> But now I want an Egg McMuffin and it’s 515pm. ☹
If you end up killing yourself, I’m totally blaming Idle Thoughts.
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### Author:  [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/11 "2013-09-17T22:27:02Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#):
>
> But now I want an Egg McMuffin and it’s 515pm. ☹
> [@Giraffe](#):
>
> If you end up killing yourself, I’m totally blaming Idle Thoughts.
But, leave instructions for you heirs to also sue McDonalds for not serving breakfast later.
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### Author:  [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/12 "2013-09-17T23:02:54Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#):
>
> But now I want an Egg McMuffin and it’s 515pm. ☹
I have a simple way for you to have an Egg McMuffin without even going to McDonalds! You must follow the instructions exactly. Go to the airport. Fly in an airplane to a time zone where it is before 11am. 10 to be on the safe side. Go to a hotel. Call roomservice. Order an Egg McMuffin. When they don’t have it. Ask the concierge where the best place to get an Egg McMuffin is. If he or she says McDonalds forget the not going to McDonalds part and go to McDonalds for your Egg McMuffin. If it is past 11 and they are out of Egg McMuffins go back to step 1. 14 Easy Steps to Happiness.
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### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/13 "2013-09-17T23:05:43Z")
> [@Munch](#):
>
> On a list of the ten best ways to **diffuse** a situation like that, I think your method comes in at around #17.
Nitpick: (And I see this quite frequently on the Dope.) It’s “defuse.”
Defuse - 1 : to remove the fuse from (as a mine or bomb) 2 : **to make less harmful, potent, or tense \**
Diffuse - 1 a : to pour out and permit or cause to spread freely b : extend, scatter c : to spread thinly or wastefully 2 : to subject to diffusion ; especially : to break up and distribute (incident light) by reflection
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### Author:  [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2013, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/14 "2013-09-17T23:45:27Z")
> [@pricciar](#):
>
> I have a simple way for you to have an Egg McMuffin without even going to McDonalds! You must follow the instructions exactly. Go to the airport. Fly in an airplane to a time zone where it is before 11am. 10 to be on the safe side. Go to a hotel. Call roomservice. Order an Egg McMuffin. When they don’t have it. Ask the concierge where the best place to get an Egg McMuffin is. If he or she says McDonalds forget the not going to McDonalds part and go to McDonalds for your Egg McMuffin. If it is past 11 and they are out of Egg McMuffins go back to step 1. 14 Easy Steps to Happiness.
Hey, it worked!
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### Author:  [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2013, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/15 "2013-09-18T00:10:36Z")
That was some of the absolute best and most clear-cut moderating I’ve ever seen in my life.
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### Author:  [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2013, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/16 "2013-09-18T00:34:47Z")
> [@Marley23](#):
>
> Ideally there would only be one way to read your OP: that you were worried about **Yorikke**. Regardless, **Idle Thoughts** didn’t do anything wrong. You did jump to conclusions and put words in his mouth. These situations are not fun to deal with, so maybe a little less abuse would have been appropriate.
You also put words in **Munch** ’s mouth. If we aren’t supposed to expect that mods try to sound like they are concerned, then you have no right to complain when users don’t sound like they are concerned. You can’t defend **Idle Thoughts** while condemning **Munch** for the same thing.
At least had an interpretation that could have been concern. **Idle** , at best, pulled off sounding a like a robot, as he himself admitted.
And if this were abuse, it would be against the rules. Abuse is not word to just mean not being treated with respect. All Munch did was use snark. If you can’t take snark on this board, you don’t need to be moderating it.
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### Author:  [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2013, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/17 "2013-09-18T01:44:20Z")
> [@Marley23](#):
>
> Ideally there would only be one way to read your OP: that you were worried about **Yorikke**. Regardless, **Idle Thoughts** didn’t do anything wrong. You did jump to conclusions and put words in his mouth. These situations are not fun to deal with, so maybe a little less abuse would have been appropriate.
Ideally, you’d be able to handle more than the most obvious of nuance, but beggars can’t be choosers. However, I will certainly admit that there was a fair amount of snark in my OP, as I genuinely felt at the time that Idle Thoughts had completely fumbled the ball. Luckily, he was able to keep a cooler head than I, and responded with all that was needed to defuse\* my snark - an honest reply. He, unlike yourself, refrained from trying to complicate matters by trying to decipher some hidden intention in my OP. It’s a pity that mod reactions in ATMB aren’t as forthright, honest and responsive as Idle Thoughts’ - you’d probably receive a lot less flak.
\*thanks cochrane
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### Author:  [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2013, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/18 "2013-09-18T01:55:05Z")
Good news guys, I’ve been informed that the McDonald’s nearest to me starts serving breakfast at Midnight now.
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### Author:  [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2013, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/19 "2013-09-18T03:03:40Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#):
>
> Good news guys, I’ve been informed that the McDonald’s nearest to me starts serving breakfast at Midnight now.
That’s wonderful news. My best to you and yours, Bob. That wonderful news wraps it all up. Let’s close this puppy.
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### Author:  [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)
#### Post date: [September 18, 2013, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/idle-thoughts-maybe-dont-attempt-to-learn-an-instrument/669093/20 "2013-09-18T03:55:26Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#):
>
> That was some of the absolute best and most clear-cut moderating I’ve ever seen in my life.
Yes it was. \
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