# If a man has no feet... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 18, 2000, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952 "2000-02-18T16:05:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AlliKat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@AlliKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlliKat)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/1 "2000-02-18T16:05:00Z")
If a man has no feet…how can put his best foot forward?? 😃 ## If a man has no arms, how can he point the way?? 😃 Love Always, Kat ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/2 "2000-02-18T16:06:00Z")
If a post has no point, how can it stay out of MPSIMS? ---
**Author:** ![okatym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/76d3ee/32.png) [@okatym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/okatym)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/3 "2000-02-18T16:38:00Z")
THAT reminds me of these tasteless, VERYOLD jokes: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs hanging on a wall? **ART** What do you call a guy with no arms or legs lying on the ground? **MATT** What do you call a guy with no arms or legs swimming in a pool? **BOB** What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in a hottub? **STEW** Sorry…I know I’m really warped to _still_ find those funny. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/4 "2000-02-18T17:19:00Z")
You forgot “what do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a hole?” “Phil!” * * * An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille. ---
**Author:** ![Ophanim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8491ac/32.png) [@Ophanim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ophanim)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/5 "2000-02-18T17:27:00Z")
What about What (do you call a man with no arms or legs in a toilet)? Screwed! Hey sorry this damn computer wont let me use quotation marks. * * * I’m back! … Oh so NO-ONE knew I was gone? Well that’s just freakin great. ---
**Author:** ![AlliKat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@AlliKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlliKat)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/6 "2000-02-18T17:30:00Z")
Speaking of really tasteless jokes: Did you know that the polish abortion clinics are so popular that there is a year long waiting list? i mean no offense to anyone and if you do take offense, i am truely sorry. * * * “Life is too short and too long to be unhappy.” ---
**Author:** ![AlliKat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@AlliKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlliKat)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/7 "2000-02-18T17:33:00Z")
Speaking of tasteless jokes: Did you know that the polish abortion clinics are so popular that they have a year long waiting list? i mean no offense and if anyone takes offense i am truely sorry. * * * “Life is too short and too long to be unhappy.” ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/8 "2000-02-18T17:40:00Z")
What do you call **two** men without arm or legs, hanging on a wall… **Curt & Rod** What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other leg… **Eilene** What do you call an asian woman with one leg shorter than the other leg… **Irene** ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/9 "2000-02-18T17:51:00Z")
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs under a car? Jack ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/10 "2000-02-18T17:53:00Z")
And how about the guy with no arms or legs in the bushes? Russel! * * * _Here’s mud in yer eye,_ UncleBeer ---
**Author:** ![AlliKat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@AlliKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlliKat)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2000, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/11 "2000-02-19T06:03:00Z")
If a cow has no legs whats it called?? Ground beef * * * “Life is too short and too long to be unhappy.” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2000, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/12 "2000-02-19T06:07:00Z")
Enright, That sortof happened to me for real. My landlord had sent over guys to replace my curtain rod. So I answer the door: What?? Curtain Rod! Who? I thought they’d said Kurt and Rod! Really. He thought it was funny too! ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/13 "2000-02-18T19:24:00Z")
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs with a stick up his ass? Pop! ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2000, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/14 "2000-02-19T07:18:00Z")
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a lion’s cage? Claude. What do you call a guy who’s been buried for fity years? Pete. * * * “What’s the cure for disillusionment, Charlie Brown?” “A chocolate cream and a friendly pat on the back.” ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2000, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/15 "2000-02-19T07:33:00Z")
\< snort snort \> somehow I enjoy stupid humor…gads ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2000, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-man-has-no-feet/13952/16 "2000-02-19T11:41:00Z")
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs laying on the beach? Sandy What do you call her when she goes for a swim? Sandy Duncan