# If a woman has a past relationship with a black man she's tainted forever. Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743 "2013-07-05T18:45:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Maeganspop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Maeganspop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeganspop)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2014, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/201 "2014-05-14T15:54:18Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Preemptively attempting to deflect attention from the problem with your argument doesn’t actually deflect attention from the problem with your argument. > > And when you admit that you are off-topic in the thread, it’s pretty hard to see your argument as anything but concern trolling. Folk in interracial relationships get that a lot. The “Concern Trolling” most times will probably be bigoted individuals, but not all of it is. Like I said before, surely I am not in the only town in the world that mixed race kids (Black and White mixed) are having trouble fitting in more so than any other. It’s an extra challenge and I hope these parents realize it and watch for it. Maybe when the Evil Alien Overlords takeover, we can all just be Human. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2014, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/202 "2014-05-14T16:30:58Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > What about Asian men? I think the same thing would hold for an Asian man who had a past relationship with a black man. He’s tainted, that’s for sure. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2014, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/203 "2014-05-14T16:33:08Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > I think the same thing would hold for an Asian man who had a past relationship with a black man. He’s tainted, that’s for sure. No, I think he’s . . . ameliorated… :o ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/204 "2014-05-14T16:37:17Z")
I dated a guy in college who told me that a woman who has had sex with a black man gets some sort of cooties that she will pass that along to any white man she has had sex with. He wasn’t talking about an actual disease, but some (imaginary) thing that did get transferred. We were in the car. I was driving. We were in downtown Pittsburgh in that complicated area where I376 and I279 meet up. I considered pulling over, telling him that he had cooties now, and telling him to get out. As satisfying as that might have been, I decided the more prudent course of action would be to wait until we got back and find some other excuse to end things. Still makes me laugh to think he’s walking around with cooties and he doesn’t even know it, but seriously? WTF?? And why did he assume that I had only been with white guys? > [@Acsenray](#): > > Are you seriously suggesting that this should be taken into account by mixed race couples? Every mixed race/religion/nationality/etc. couple \*should \*consider the potential challenges they and/or their children might face if they marry or equivalent and/or have children. It’s pretty stupid to pretend that love will conquer all and everything will be hunky-dory. That is certainly not to say that mixed couples should not have children, but that they should acknowledge potential challenges and be prepared to meet them. > [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > You will seldom or never hear this in public anymore but if a young lady brings home a young black man to date it is not uncommon for the parents to find a good reason they shouldn’t be dating him. Someone who was against interracial relationships once asked me “What would your parents do if you came home with a black guy!?” I responded, “Well, in the past, they’ve said ‘nice to meet you.’” Don’cha love it when you get an opportunity to use a good comeback? 🙂 (and it was true) > [@racepug](#): > > I know that when I was in the navy and saw women with black guys I automatically figured they wouldn’t be interested in me. Usually I figured that once they were seeing black guys that that was going to be all they were interested in. Not sure if that was true, but that’s how I generally saw things (at least at that time). But I never got around to asking any of them about it so I don’t know, for sure, what their motivations were. Why would you think that a woman who dated black guys wouldn’t be interested in a white guy? Because of the “big black cock thing?” I’ve noticed that a lot of white guys dwell on that. That’s not always true, you know, and there is more to a man than the size of his penis. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2014, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/205 "2014-05-14T17:16:40Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > You know that a majority of Black people in the United States are mixed race, right? Is it just kids with one White parent and one Black parent that are mixed race? > > This comes as a surprise to some White people, but just about every Black family in America has a couple of people with White parents and grandparents. It’s just dead common. This is known as there is a honky in the woodpile 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2014, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/206 "2014-05-14T18:27:55Z")
It’s not your observation that’s the problem. It’s the way you choose to frame it. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2014, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/207 "2014-05-14T18:40:26Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > I think the same thing would hold for an Asian man who had a past relationship with a black man. He’s tainted, that’s for sure. Thanks for the laugh. 😃 No I meant what if a white woman has a past relationship with an Asian man? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2014, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/208 "2014-05-14T18:43:42Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > No I meant what if a white woman has a past relationship with an Asian man? What if a black woman has a past relationship with an Asian man? What if a South Pacific Islander woman has a past relationship with a man from a first-nations tribe? ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2014, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/209 "2014-05-14T23:22:32Z")
Probably because black dudes have long dicks and are good at fucking and a lot of guys are insecure about trying to compete? ---
**Author:** ![delsina363](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@delsina363](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delsina363)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2014, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/210 "2014-05-16T14:59:56Z")
Here in Boston, I see and know lots of interracial couples. I was reading all these posts when I was thinking who do I know in an interracial relationship? :smack: My sister. I always forget that this is still a “thing” with some people. My Mom was real upset at first when she found out about my sister dating a black man. She did not talk to her for a year. My Mom grew up with a different way of thinking, and this was around 30 years ago. My Mom finally realized how ignorant she was being. My brother and law and my Mom became very close. They even travelled Europe together (along with Sis and kids). Also, my husband is actually 50% full native american, even though he never met his father, and was raised in an Irish Catholic household. I never even thought about if that would make me being in a birracial marriage? Are my kids now considered birracial? The whole this is so old school thinking to me. I do not know many people who are purely Irish, or Spanish, or Black. I need to try to remember that discrimination still exists when it comes to mixed race families. I must teach my children that there are still stupid ass people out there who still think this way. Sad.☹ ---
**Author:** ![themuna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@themuna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/themuna)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2014, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/211 "2014-05-16T16:02:32Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > Probably because black dudes have long dicks and are good at fucking and a lot of guys are insecure about trying to compete? People don’t realize it but this stereotype sucks for Black men. It creates some unrealistic expectation which hardly anyone can live up to. I’d rather come from behind in that sense (no pun intended). Racism is stupid. Strictly-held stereotypes are useless. I’ve seen extremely respectable white women date black men (a few of them dated me ;)) and if some guy passes up on them because of that, his loss. Also, as a Black man I think I have more reason to be concerned if a White woman has dated Black men in the past. It’s admittedly a shallow and somewhat immature thing to be concerned about but it can make you feel as though, the girl is after your skin color, or the idea of being with a Black man, instead of actually being interested in you for you. Depends on the situation and the girl but I’ve met some who consistently date the one black guy within their social situation and found it hard to believe that personality or character were the top factors each time. ---
**Author:** ![Dinna\_Fash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ea924/32.png) [@Dinna\_Fash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinna_Fash)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/212 "2014-05-20T06:13:33Z")
When I was younger, I dated both white guys and black guys. I think that light skin and dark intertwined is beautiful. It never occurred to me that anyone would find me “tainted” until I met my future husband. I should have left the racist asshole the minute he had a problem with me being with black guys. That issue followed me throughout the marriage, I was never good enough. But that’s ok, I’m now with a gorgeous black woman, planning our wedding. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2014, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/213 "2014-05-24T23:41:13Z")
I think that some folks wonder about a woman who willingly enters into a relationship with a member of a stigmatized group, race aside. Some might have the same reaction finding out that a girlfriend used to be, say, a “biker chick”. Basically, it would be nice if such things were no different than a gentleman who preferred blondes, but… By the way, I’d never heard the term “mudshark” before. The term I heard when growing up was the far more pejorative “Coal Burner”. These days, perhaps the term “Kardashian”, or Kardies" for short might find purchase. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2014, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/214 "2014-05-25T00:18:14Z")
> [@E-DUB](#): > > By the way, I’d never heard the term “mudshark” before. The term I heard when growing up was the far more pejorative “Coal Burner”. These days, perhaps the term “Kardashian”, or Kardies" for short might find purchase. I think I’ll stick with being a coal burning mudshark, thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Clamrammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Clamrammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clamrammer)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2014, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/215 "2014-08-19T18:12:30Z")
i usually avoid white women who have dated black men in the past for a few reasons none of which have anything to do with racism mainly it’s self preservation(something like 75% of AIDS cases in the entire world are black people)and personal preferences i don’t like to date women who sound illiterate. #1. they tend to act “ghetto” and talk with a silly accent,what they are really trying to do is act black some of them might sound perfectly normal but when they get angry the ebonics comes out. #2. it’s just common sense and self preservation that one should avoid these women based on the A.I.D.S rate in the black world population i think people in Europe and Asia are at higher risk than Americans, since they seem to have more African immigrants The Impact of HIV in Blacks Statistics only begin to show the tremendous toll HIV in blacks is taking. ``` More HIV infections. African Americans make up 14% of the U.S. population, but they represent 44% of new HIV cases. The picture is even bleaker in black women, teens, and children. In 2009, the CDC estimates that the rate of new HIV infections in African American women was 15 times as high as the rate for white women. Shorter survival. On average, the survival time for African-Americans with AIDS is lower than for other racial or ethnic groups. Increased numbers of deaths. AIDS is a leading cause of death in African-Americans, especially in young women. ``` How HIV in Blacks Spreads HIV in black men is spread most often through (in this order): ``` Not using a condom or other protection when having sex with a man who is infected with HIV. Sharing injection drug needles or syringes with someone who is infected with HIV Not using a condom or other protection when having sex with a woman who is infected with HIV. ``` HIV in black women is spread most often through (in this order): ``` Not using a condom or other protection when having sex with a man who is infected with HIV. Sharing injection drug needles or syringes with someone who is infected with HIV. African Americans accounted for an estimated 44% of all new HIV infections among adults and adolescents (aged 13 years or older) in 2010, despite representing only 12% of the US population; considering the smaller size of the African American population in the United States, this represents a population rate that is 8 times that of whites overall. In 2010, men accounted for 70% (14,700) of the estimated 20,900 new HIV infections among all adult and adolescent African Americans. The estimated rate of new HIV infections for African American men (103.6/100,000 population) was 7 times that of white men, twice that of Latino men, and nearly 3 times that of African American women. In 2010, African American gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men**b represented an estimated 72% (10,600) of new infections among all African American men and 36% of an estimated 29,800 new HIV infections among all gay and bisexual men. More new HIV infections (4,800) occurred among young African American gay and bisexual men (aged 13-24) than any other subgroup of gay and bisexual men. In 2010, African American women accounted for 6,100 (29%) of the estimated new HIV infections among all adult and adolescent African Americans. This number represents a decrease of 21% since 2008. Most new HIV infections among African American women (87%; 5,300) are attributed to heterosexual contact.c The estimated rate of new HIV infections for African American women (38.1/100,000 population) was 20 times that of white women and almost 5 times that of Hispanic/Latino women. At some point in their lifetimes, an estimated 1 in 16 African American men and 1 in 32 African American women will be diagnosed with HIV infection. In 2011, an estimated 15,958 African Americans were diagnosed with AIDS in the United States. By the end of 2010, an estimated 260,821 African Americans ever diagnosed with AIDS had died in the United States. ``` Source:[http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/racialethnic/aa/facts/index.html](http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/racialethnic/aa/facts/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/216 "2014-08-19T18:18:50Z")
Keep ramming that clam, man. Keep ramming that clam. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2014, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/217 "2014-08-19T19:21:20Z")
> [@Dinna\_Fash](#): > > When I was younger, I dated both white guys and black guys. I think that light skin and dark intertwined is beautiful. It never occurred to me that anyone would find me “tainted” until I met my future husband… > > …I’m now with a gorgeous black woman, planning our wedding. 🙂 See? The black guy turned you into a lesbian! > [@Clamrammer](#): > > i usually avoid white women who have dated black men in the past for a few reasons none of which have anything to do with racism … … as well as lots of reasons that do. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2014, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/218 "2014-08-19T19:27:18Z")
> [@Clamrammer](#): > > i usually avoid white women who have dated black men in the past for a few reasons Reason number one: they’re avoiding the shit out of you. ---
**Author:** ![Clamrammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Clamrammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clamrammer)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2014, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/219 "2014-08-19T19:50:33Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Reason number one: they’re avoiding the shit out of you. well yes of course because usually white women who date black men are not interested in white men because they won’t accept the whole ghetto act,ebonics thing. sounding like an illiterate retard is not cool,it might be tolerable for a little while but it gets annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2014, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/220 "2014-08-19T19:58:17Z")
But when you skip out on things like proper comma usage or traditional capitalization, that’s what, arty? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=12)