# If a woman has a past relationship with a black man she's tainted forever. Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743 "2013-07-05T18:45:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/281 "2015-03-20T17:03:28Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I highly recommend it. > [@Asimovian](#): > > You had plenty of opportunity to date all the racists you wanted before you met me. Not my fault you didn’t use your time wisely. Take your tainted love and get a room folks. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/282 "2015-03-20T17:07:59Z")
> [@Lee\_Q](#): > > The “white guy with fixation on Asian women” trope is very well known and very real. > > Along the same lines, or should I say for similar reasons, men who prefer to only date or hook up with “spinners.” Think about the dynamics involved and it becomes pretty clear that guys like this have a whole mess of insecurity issues. Probably gonna look stupid but what is a spinner? ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/283 "2015-03-20T18:12:16Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Take your tainted love and get a room folks. > > 😃 Are you modding a mod? Is that even legal?? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![drifter777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bc79bd/32.png) [@drifter777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drifter777)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/284 "2015-03-20T19:05:40Z")
Since this thread exists and, as someone pointed out, the same thing has been debated in the past I would say it’s a real issue for some. I have no black friends and I don’t want to go out looking for black friends. My whole life I’ve lived in overwhelmingly white areas of a city. Zero blacks in school - from K - 12. When I see young, black man I see ghetto. I see crime. I see a person with no respect for others. The reasons? Who cares? That’s what I think and that’s what I feel. I have never had a problem, personally, with a black person and that’s largely because I rarely interact with them. So I don’t understand why it’s difficult to understand that black people are strange to me. I believe much of the news I read and watch that, to me, show black people in a racist, slanted light. Here’s my question: what does racist mean to you? To me it means that I’ve already formed an opinion - negative or positive - about a race of people. It’s judging the whole race and not seeing everyone as individuals. Ok, I’m guilty. I don’t want a Muslim on the same airplane as I’m on. I judge Muslims to be radical murderers even if they don’t pull triggers or set off bombs themselves. I believe they are complicit by their lack of action to stop the active radicals. I firmly believe that my position is right in this case. I fear Muslims with what I consider to be sound reasoning. 4.7 % of all “young” black males are in prison. For whites its less than 1%. Hispanic is 1.8 %. These numbers are significant and prove out that anyone should be afraid and take steps to avoid young, black males. I’m racist - aren’t we all to some degree? Do you think Asian’s are smarter than whites? Do you think the Irish drink more than others? I told my daughter to never bring a black guy home because it would be the last time she was welcome in my home. I wanted to scare her away from young black men. Do you really blame me? Other than blind, phony liberal thinking can anyone give me a reason that I was wrong to tell this to my daughter? Not a philosophy, a reason? Its my right to decide who I want to date and if a woman dated a black man I would consider her tainted - TO ME. Not to you - to me. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/285 "2015-03-20T19:11:14Z")
Good sarcasm. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/286 "2015-03-20T19:12:30Z")
> [@Lee\_Q](#): > > Along the same lines, or should I say for similar reasons, men who prefer to only date or hook up with “spinners.” Think about the dynamics involved and it becomes pretty clear that guys like this have a whole mess of insecurity issues. Never heard of the term, what is it? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/287 "2015-03-20T19:18:24Z")
> [@drifter777](#): > > Its my right to decide who I want to date and if a woman dated a black man I would consider her tainted - TO ME. Not to you - to me. Yes, that’s true. But the problem is your argument is applicable to any position held by anyone. It’s my right to decide who I want to date, and if a woman has visited Iceland before, I would consider her tainted - TO ME. In my view, most listeners would be surprised and puzzled by such a declaration. Why would the speaker possibly believe that the mere fact a woman had visited Iceland would render her somehow tainted? As you say, it’s your right to believe whatever you wish. But it should not surprise you to learn that other people, hearing of your odd beliefs unsupported by any rational underpinnings, react in unfavorable ways. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Wiggler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/red_wiggler/32/13190_2.png) [@Red\_Wiggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Wiggler)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/288 "2015-03-20T19:19:17Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Never heard of the term, what is it? Locker room terminology for a very small woman, built along the lines of a gymnast or cheerleader. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/289 "2015-03-20T19:47:18Z")
I’m not sure about the spinner thing. I tend to be attracted to petite women. It’s not a fetish, any more than a preference for blondes. > [@drifter777](#): > > I told my daughter to never bring a black guy home because it would be the last time she was welcome in my home. I wanted to scare her away from young black men. Do you really blame me? Other than blind, phony liberal thinking can anyone give me a reason that I was wrong to tell this to my daughter? Not a philosophy, a reason? How about because she’s your daughter and your parent-child should be stronger than your irrational hatred of black people? Frankly, though, the best possible thing for your daughter would be to be far away from you. I hope for her sake she brings home a dozen black men next week. > [@](#): > > I’m racist - aren’t we all to some degree? Do you think Asian’s are smarter than whites? Do you think the Irish drink more than others? No, and yes. So what? I wouldn’t kick an Irish person out of my house because they might statistically consume more alcohol than, say, a Swede. > [@](#): > > I don’t want a Muslim on the same airplane as I’m on. I judge Muslims to be radical murderers even if they don’t pull triggers or set off bombs themselves. I believe they are complicit by their lack of action to stop the active radicals Are you an American? Our government is dropping bombs on innocent civilians on the daily. Are you taking action to stop them? Doesn’t that make you a radical murderer by proxy? ---
**Author:** ![drifter777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bc79bd/32.png) [@drifter777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drifter777)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/290 "2015-03-20T20:24:00Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Are you an American? Our government is dropping bombs on innocent civilians on the daily. Are you taking action to stop them? Doesn’t that make you a radical murderer by proxy? Innocent of what? ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/291 "2015-03-20T20:25:08Z")
> [@drifter777](#): > > I told my daughter to never bring a black guy home because it would be the last time she was welcome in my home. I wanted to scare her away from young black men. Do you really blame me? Yes. There are plenty of white men who would be abusive husbands, and plenty of black men who would not be. And vice versa. Race is a terrible indicator of whether someone would be a good person or good husband. Chances are, you and/or many of the “white” people you know have some black ancestry. > [@](#): > > Other than blind, phony liberal thinking can anyone give me a reason that I was wrong to tell this to my daughter? Not a philosophy, a reason? Yes – there are plenty of decent black men who would be good husbands/boyfriends. There are plenty of white men who would not be. And vice versa. > [@](#): > > Its my right to decide who I want to date and if a woman dated a black man I would consider her tainted - TO ME. Not to you - to me. Obviously it’s your right, and it’s our right to consider you tainted, ignorant, and stupid for this (and the stupid stuff you say about black people). ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/292 "2015-03-20T20:31:07Z")
> [@drifter777](#): > > I’m racist We know. But at least you are admitting it, rather than using the “Not to be racist but” fig leaf. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/293 "2015-03-20T20:33:30Z")
> [@drifter777](#): > > Since this thread exists and, as someone pointed out, the same thing has been debated in the past I would say it’s a real issue for some. > > I have no black friends and I don’t want to go out looking for black friends. My whole life I’ve lived in overwhelmingly white areas of a city. Zero blacks in school - from K - 12. When I see young, black man I see ghetto. I see crime. I see a person with no respect for others. The reasons? Who cares? That’s what I think and that’s what I feel. I have never had a problem, personally, with a black person and that’s largely because I rarely interact with them. So I don’t understand why it’s difficult to understand that black people are strange to me. I believe much of the news I read and watch that, to me, show black people in a racist, slanted light. Here’s my question: what does racist mean to you? To me it means that I’ve already formed an opinion - negative or positive - about a race of people. It’s judging the whole race and not seeing everyone as individuals. Ok, I’m guilty. I don’t want a Muslim on the same airplane as I’m on. I judge Muslims to be radical murderers even if they don’t pull triggers or set off bombs themselves. I believe they are complicit by their lack of action to stop the active radicals. I firmly believe that my position is right in this case. I fear Muslims with what I consider to be sound reasoning. > > 4.7 % of all “young” black males are in prison. For whites its less than 1%. Hispanic is 1.8 %. These numbers are significant and prove out that anyone should be afraid and take steps to avoid young, black males. > > I’m racist - aren’t we all to some degree? Do you think Asian’s are smarter than whites? Do you think the Irish drink more than others? > > I told my daughter to never bring a black guy home because it would be the last time she was welcome in my home. I wanted to scare her away from young black men. Do you really blame me? Other than blind, phony liberal thinking can anyone give me a reason that I was wrong to tell this to my daughter? Not a philosophy, a reason? > > Its my right to decide who I want to date and if a woman dated a black man I would consider her tainted - TO ME. Not to you - to me. “Hey, I have absolutely no reason why I think and do what I do, but I’m gonna perpetuate bullshit just because. I’m proud of myself and I just gotta seek out places on the internet to crow about it. Go me and my bigotry!” Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/294 "2015-03-20T20:52:17Z")
Can anyone REALLY know what racism IS, man? Like it’s just an idea in people’s brains, it’s not a real thing, you groove? Anyway, I’m disowning my daughter because she wore black clothing once. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/295 "2015-03-20T21:11:42Z")
> [@drifter777](#): > > Since this thread exists and, as someone pointed out, the same thing has been debated in the past I would say it’s a real issue for some. > > I have no black friends and I don’t want to go out looking for black friends. My whole life I’ve lived in overwhelmingly white areas of a city. Zero blacks in school - from K - 12. When I see young, black man I see ghetto. I see crime. I see a person with no respect for others. The reasons? Who cares? That’s what I think and that’s what I feel. I have never had a problem, personally, with a black person and that’s largely because I rarely interact with them. So I don’t understand why it’s difficult to understand that black people are strange to me. I believe much of the news I read and watch that, to me, show black people in a racist, slanted light. Here’s my question: what does racist mean to you? To me it means that I’ve already formed an opinion - negative or positive - about a race of people. It’s judging the whole race and not seeing everyone as individuals. Ok, I’m guilty. I don’t want a Muslim on the same airplane as I’m on. I judge Muslims to be radical murderers even if they don’t pull triggers or set off bombs themselves. I believe they are complicit by their lack of action to stop the active radicals. I firmly believe that my position is right in this case. I fear Muslims with what I consider to be sound reasoning. > > 4.7 % of all “young” black males are in prison. For whites its less than 1%. Hispanic is 1.8 %. These numbers are significant and prove out that anyone should be afraid and take steps to avoid young, black males. > > I’m racist - aren’t we all to some degree? Do you think Asian’s are smarter than whites? Do you think the Irish drink more than others? > > I told my daughter to never bring a black guy home because it would be the last time she was welcome in my home. I wanted to scare her away from young black men. Do you really blame me? Other than blind, phony liberal thinking can anyone give me a reason that I was wrong to tell this to my daughter? Not a philosophy, a reason? > > Its my right to decide who I want to date and if a woman dated a black man I would consider her tainted - TO ME. Not to you - to me. This is the kind of bullshit that keeps me angry and bitter. My mother worked nights and weekends to put herself through college and move us out of the city. I went to the Marines and college to stay out of the city. My wife and I worked damn hard to send our kids to private schools and college. Yet, if my son, an honor student and college graduate, who has never seen a ghetto in person, runs into someone like you he’s still just another nigger. And people wonder why black people in this country still feel uncomfortable simply trying to exist. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/296 "2015-03-20T21:19:09Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > Yet, if my son, an honor student and college graduate, who has never seen a ghetto in person, runs into someone like you he’s still just another nigger. No, he’s not saying your son is “just another nigger.” He’s saying your son would be automatically grouped with the collection of lower-class dark-skinned criminal citizens because it’s safer and easier to make that assumption than to be bothered with judging individuals on their merits. See the difference? ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/297 "2015-03-20T22:29:38Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > No, he’s not saying your son is “just another nigger.” He’s saying your son would be automatically grouped with the collection of lower-class dark-skinned criminal citizens because it’s safer and easier to make that assumption than to be bothered with judging individuals on their merits. > > See the difference? Too bad there’s no emoji for a weary, resigned smile. Some days it’s really hard to ignore the morons. ---
**Author:** ![drifter777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bc79bd/32.png) [@drifter777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drifter777)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/298 "2015-03-20T23:18:25Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > No, he’s not saying your son is “just another nigger.” He’s saying your son would be automatically grouped with the collection of lower-class dark-skinned criminal citizens because it’s safer and easier to make that assumption than to be bothered with judging individuals on their merits. > > See the difference? Yeah - this is pretty close to the way I feel. And I will never say it is right. I’m just reacting to what I read and see in the local and national news. Like ISIS - I don’t want to get to know any of those guys and judge them on their individual merits, do you? Because if not then you are “condemning a collection of lower-class dark-skinned criminals because its safer and easier” - and that’s racism. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/299 "2015-03-20T23:20:49Z")
Alright. Well, as a poster, I have nothing further to contribute to this thread. I’m out. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/300 "2015-03-20T23:22:41Z")
> [@drifter777](#): > > Yeah - this is pretty close to the way I feel. I… I need a new Poe-detector. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=16)