# If a woman has a past relationship with a black man she's tainted forever. Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743 "2013-07-05T18:45:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/21 "2013-07-05T19:35:24Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > WTF - you’re completely wrong. Not only is it not happening in any kind of general way you either know it and you’re making shit up to find out who else is racist or you’re so completely submerged in the racist subculture that you are blinded to the fact that the rest of the world is working to leave that shit behind us. > > Sure there are some men who think like this but they are racists. Just like there are some men that kill people and they are murderers. Just because something happens does not make it common or accepted. > > I apologize, I mistakenly thought AB was the OP. Please apply the above statements to **Astro** as well. I am a white man who works in a professional job in a quasi-rural but fairly economically dynamic area. Because of my job and my clean cut appearance people generally take me to be a conservative, and because I’m easy to talk to they often feel free to let me know that they really think after a few drinks. If you think there are no significant cohorts of people in this country that are hidebound racists you are deluding yourself. They may not be prevalent in the more urban areas, but they are all around elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/22 "2013-07-05T19:37:48Z")
Oh, I imagine my ex-wife feels tainted, but I’m not sure it has anything to do with me being black… ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/23 "2013-07-05T19:40:06Z")
**@Moonlitherial** , I really can’t make head or tail of your post or exactly who you’re replying to. I completely cop to the question sounding racist, perhaps even being inherently racist, but swear it’s not from any racist basis. Excluding the world of Celebrities™, which is reality the way Toontown is, I have yet to see an interracial couple, black male/white female, where the woman is anyone I’d give a second glance. They’ve invariably been on the wrong side of older for the couple, notably unattractive in some aspect, had behavior that made me wonder about their mental state, and in the cases where I interacted with them at any length, tended to confirm that they were a little on the damaged/needy/desperate side. I am NOT saying that’s the only case. I’m saying I can’t think of any counter-examples I’ve seen, in person or in media. Maybe in the under-30 crowd with which I have zero interaction it’s different now… but I’m speaking from observations across the SE spectrum for a good 25-30 years. If you think I’m wrong, fine… but I’m still waiting to meet such a couple that includes a woman I’d hit on. [ETA]…whether she was with a black man, white man, woman of any race or alone. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/24 "2013-07-05T19:40:50Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Where the heck are you looking around the Web? Lots of weird places, judging by this and past OPs. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/25 "2013-07-05T19:43:08Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Yes obviously racism, but this “forever tainted & unclean” attitude does not seem to hold with these racists WRT a white women dating Hispanic, Asian or other groups, only black men. Because most (American) racists consider black people to be “lower” than Hispanics and Asians. Is this seriously a surprise to you? I don’t know that figures are available just for interracial dating, but as far as interracial marriage goes then in the US there are more than twice as many white woman/black man couples as there are white woman/Asian man couples.\* So a racist who finds both types of couples equally objectionable is going to hear about or meet a lot more of the former, which would presumably lead to talking about it more. \*In this [Pew report on interracial marriage](http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2012/02/16/the-rise-of-intermarriage/3/#chapter-2-characteristics-of-intermarried-newlyweds), scroll down to “Ranking the Newlyweds by Husband and Wife’s Race/Ethnicity” and see the “Which Couple Makes More?” chart. It shows that Asian husband/white wife couples make up only 0.6% of all married couples in the US, but black husband/white wife is 1.3%. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/26 "2013-07-05T19:48:00Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > **@Moonlitherial** , I really can’t make head or tail of your post or exactly who you’re replying to. > > I completely cop to the question sounding racist, perhaps even being inherently racist, but swear it’s not from any racist basis. Excluding the world of Celebrities™, which is reality the way Toontown is, I have yet to see an interracial couple, black male/white female, where the woman is anyone I’d give a second glance. They’ve invariably been on the wrong side of older for the couple, notably unattractive in some aspect, had behavior that made me wonder about their mental state, and in the cases where I interacted with them at any length, tended to confirm that they were a little on the damaged/needy/desperate side. > > I am NOT saying that’s the only case. I’m saying I can’t think of any counter-examples I’ve seen, in person or in media. Maybe in the under-30 crowd with which I have zero interaction it’s different now… but I’m speaking from observations across the SE spectrum for a good 25-30 years. > > If you think I’m wrong, fine… but I’m still waiting to meet such a couple that includes a woman I’d hit on. [ETA]…whether she was with a black man, white man, woman of any race or alone. You need to get out more. And maybe visit some new places. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/27 "2013-07-05T19:48:44Z")
I think it’s pretty hard to answer a question like the OPs when there’s no actual evidence for it other than his word. Especially since someone upthread said she hasn’t noticed it, and the OP pulled out the “well, you wouldn’t have noticed it” argument. Then Amateur Barbarian brings in another unprovable argument. He’s already dismissed the idea that “one or two” “first-rate” white women in interracial relationships would invalidate his theory, and “first-rate” gets to be defined any way he wants to define it in order to prove that only really inferior white women would ever get into relationships with black men. What a thread. > [@Asimovian](#): > > Oh, I imagine my ex-wife feels tainted, but I’m not sure it has anything to do with me being black… Your current wife just feels spoiled rotten. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/28 "2013-07-05T19:51:41Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I am NOT saying that’s the only case. I’m saying I can’t think of any counter-examples I’ve seen, in person or in media. Maybe in the under-30 crowd with which I have zero interaction it’s different now… but I’m speaking from observations across the SE spectrum for a good 25-30 years. > > If you think I’m wrong, fine… but I’m still waiting to meet such a couple that includes a woman I’d hit on. [ETA]…whether she was with a black man, white man, woman of any race or alone. So… do you have problems reading or do you think Heidi Klum is ugly? I know several other examples, but the husbands were soccer players and I can remember their faces but not their names. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/29 "2013-07-05T19:52:46Z")
> [@astro](#): > > I am a white man who works in a professional job in a quasi-rural but fairly economically dynamic area. Because of my job and my clean cut appearance people generally take me to be a conservative, and because I’m easy to talk to they often feel free to let me know that they really think after a few drinks. If you think there are no significant cohorts of people in this country that are hidebound racists you are deluding yourself. They may not be prevalent in the more urban areas, but they are all around elsewhere. Yes, there certainly are racists. No one is denying that. And that answers your question, doesn’t it? The reason racists believe a white woman who dates a black man is tainted is because they are racists. Sane decent people believe no such thing. Glad we could sort that out. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/30 "2013-07-05T19:53:31Z")
It is racism and sexism combined. And not just on the face. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/31 "2013-07-05T19:56:01Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > So… do you have problems reading or do you think Heidi Klum is ugly? He’s excluding celebrities now, so people have to try to think of people he would know that aren’t celebrities so he can judge their boner-worthiness. At which point, we get to learn if those women are first rate or inferior beings. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/32 "2013-07-05T19:59:23Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > He’s excluding celebrities now, so people have to try to think of people he would know that aren’t celebrities so he can judge their boner-worthiness. Yeah, I was trying to figure out how a bunch of strangers on the Internet are supposed to “point to” examples of white women who’ve dated black men but aren’t celebrities. Is he looking for the contact information of women we know personally? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/33 "2013-07-05T19:59:48Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Yes, there certainly are racists. No one is denying that. And that answers your question, doesn’t it? The reason racists believe a white woman who dates a black man is tainted is because they are racists. Sane decent people believe no such thing. Glad we could sort that out. Blanket racism is not the answer. These same racists do not have a big problem with White woman - Asian or White woman -Hispanic dating. The fury is reserved for White-Black dating almost exclusively. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/34 "2013-07-05T20:00:04Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Yes obviously racism, but this “forever tainted & unclean” attitude does not seem to hold with these racists WRT a white women dating Hispanic, Asian or other groups, only black men. Depends on where you live, I’ve heard of it with white women dating Hispanic and Native American men. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/35 "2013-07-05T20:00:36Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I’m tainted forever? Sheeeeeesh. Yep, you’ll never have to worry about dating a bigoted, small-minded, racist idiot again. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/36 "2013-07-05T20:08:23Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Then Amateur Barbarian brings in another unprovable argument. He’s already dismissed the idea that “one or two” “first-rate” white women in interracial relationships would invalidate his theory, and “first-rate” gets to be defined any way he wants to define it in order to prove that only really inferior white women would ever get into relationships with black men. In all sincerity, that’s not how I meant any part of my question. But I don’t think my question is any more inherently racist or outrage-worthy than that of the OP. I’d really think Dopers could deal with a racial question other than with PC outrage or dismissal, but never mind. I wasn’t out to piss off every woman who kissed a non-Nordic. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/37 "2013-07-05T20:14:46Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Yes obviously racism, but this “forever tainted & unclean” attitude does not seem to hold with these racists WRT a white women dating Hispanic, Asian or other groups, only black men. I’ve seen it in the U.K, with women who have dated Asians, Arabs or Turks . It’s racism. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/38 "2013-07-05T20:16:00Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > In all sincerity, that’s not how I meant any part of my question. But I don’t think my question is any more inherently racist or outrage-worthy than that of the OP. > > I’d really think Dopers could deal with a racial question other than with PC outrage or dismissal, but never mind. I wasn’t out to piss off every woman who kissed a non-Nordic. It’s just so darned PC to raise eyebrows at the thought that only inferior white women would be in a relationship with a black man. It’s just so darned dismissive for people not to think you are the arbiter of what makes a woman “first rate.” ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/39 "2013-07-05T20:22:21Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Yeah, I was trying to figure out how a bunch of strangers on the Internet are supposed to “point to” examples of white women who’ve dated black men but aren’t celebrities. Is he looking for the contact information of women we know personally? Pretty damn clever way to get a date, if you ask me. Of course, you didn’t… ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/40 "2013-07-05T20:22:40Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I think it’s pretty hard to answer a question like the OPs when there’s no actual evidence for it other than his word. Yeah. Why is it that people that like Indian food are mean to cats? I see this all the time IRL and on the web. No, it’s really a thing. Trust me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=3)