# If a woman has a past relationship with a black man she's tainted forever. Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743 "2013-07-05T18:45:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/41 "2013-07-05T20:23:49Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > It’s just so darned PC to raise eyebrows at the thought that only inferior white women would be in a relationship with a black man. It’s just so darned dismissive for people not to think you are the arbiter of what makes a woman “first rate.” I’m recounting my observations. I’m not attempting to say they represent anything else. I am puzzled why I have yet, in my life, among non-celebs and attention whores, to see a woman I consider attractive with a black companion. My standards of “attractive” are not narrow or restricted (and not generally limited by race). If you find the question offensive or demeaning or insulting, my apologies. If you want to think I’m a shortsighted racist schmuck, I would only object to the “racist” part. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/42 "2013-07-05T20:26:35Z")
It’s because if you rub a black person hard enough, some of the black will come off like grease. Black people have white palms because all the manual labor they do has rubbed the black off. Hot jungle lovin’ is vigorous enough that some of the black wears off the cock and stains the woman’s vagina. You can’t scrub a vagina (for very long before she punches you–trust me on this one) hard enough to get that black out. Enter The White Guy and after a brisk session he ends up with black on his dick and he’s got to jack and jack to get it cleaned off. It’s a hassle. ---
**Author:** ![Zago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecccb3/32.png) [@Zago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zago)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/43 "2013-07-05T20:27:03Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > \*\*I have yet to see an interracial couple, black male/white female, where the woman is anyone I’d give a second glance. They’ve invariably been on the wrong side of older for the couple, notably unattractive in some aspect, had behavior that made me wonder about their mental state, and in the cases where I interacted with them at any length, tended to confirm that they were a little on the damaged/needy/desperate side. In my personal experience, you are dead wrong. I know three inter-racial couples. Three of the individuals are movie-star gorgeous, three are not and you must be pretty shallow to place such a high value on first-glance looks. They’re all attractive to me. As for the rest of your points - pretty everyone I know, even the most successful of us, has a ‘need’. I wonder who could possibly pass your acid test for dating? My friends have good marriages and stellar kids and I know no one who considers any of them ‘tainted’. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/44 "2013-07-05T20:28:20Z")
What astro’s talking about is mainly a US phenomenon. I would go a step farther and say that it’s mainly in the South, areas that received a lot of Southern migrants, and the Mid-Atlantic region. It’s not a sentiment I’ve ever encountered in people from Wisconsin or Minnesota, for example. Never seen it in either Canadians or Europeans either. (I"m not arguing that it’s non-existent in any of these places, just rarer.) The US is unique among New World countries in that it established a rigid color line, with strict bans on intermarriage, to support its forced labor system. First in the Virginia and Maryland colonies, and later throughout the Atlantic seaboard. What started out as law became deeply ingrained custom, with the law remaining on the books in Virginia for almost 300 years. In practice, illicit relationships between black women and white men were tolerated, but relationships between black men and white women were condemned and harshly penalized. So part of what’s happening is just a continuation of traditional attitudes. Some other thoughts: the shunning for interracial dating seems very similar to the shunning of women for consorting with enemy soldiers. At the end of WWII, the public humiliation and ostracism of French women who associated with German soldiers, for example. To the extent that these men see black Americans as the enemy, their reaction to interracial dating isn’t unusual. I wonder if dating between Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland results in comparable shunning? Or if it dating doesn’t occur often enough to make it an issue? Another thought: the shunning also resembles the phenomenon of caste pollution in traditional Hindu culture. High caste Hindus would not allow themselves to touch or be touched by members of the untouchable castes (roughly analogous to black Americans in the US race/caste system.) Violating the barrier would inspire feelings of revulsion in some of the high caste Hindus. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/45 "2013-07-05T20:33:22Z")
Quote: > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by \*\*astro \*\* > Yes obviously racism, but this “forever tainted & unclean” attitude does not seem to hold with these racists WRT a white women dating Hispanic, Asian or other groups, only black men. That tracks with rates of intermarriage in the US. Hispanics and Asians marry whites in high numbers after the first generation immigration. Black Americans marry whites in much smaller numbers, and time in the US doesn’t make much difference. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/46 "2013-07-05T20:33:39Z")
I checked the date twice, but it seems like this thread dates from the 1960’s. :dubious: Do you have a current cite? Say, from this century? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/47 "2013-07-05T20:35:09Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > What astro’s talking about is mainly a US phenomenon. I would go a step farther and say that it’s mainly in the South, areas that received a lot of Southern migrants, and the Mid-Atlantic region. It’s not a sentiment I’ve ever encountered in people from Wisconsin or Minnesota, for example. Never seen it in either Canadians or Europeans either. (I"m not arguing that it’s non-existent in any of these places, just rarer.) > > The US is unique among New World countries in that it established a rigid color line, with strict bans on intermarriage, to support its forced labor system. First in the Virginia and Maryland colonies, and later throughout the Atlantic seaboard. What started out as law became deeply ingrained custom, with the law remaining on the books in Virginia for almost 300 years. > > In practice, illicit relationships between black women and white men were tolerated, but relationships between black men and white women were condemned and harshly penalized. So part of what’s happening is just a continuation of traditional attitudes. > > Some other thoughts: the shunning for interracial dating seems very similar to the shunning of women for consorting with enemy soldiers. At the end of WWII, the public humiliation and ostracism of French women who associated with German soldiers, for example. To the extent that these men see black Americans as the enemy, their reaction to interracial dating isn’t unusual. > > I wonder if dating between Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland results in comparable shunning? Or if it dating doesn’t occur often enough to make it an issue? > > Another thought: the shunning also resembles the phenomenon of caste pollution in traditional Hindu culture. High caste Hindus would not allow themselves to touch or be touched by members of the untouchable castes (roughly analogous to black Americans in the US race/caste system.) Violating the barrier would inspire feelings of revulsion in some of the high caste Hindus. Thank you for the informative post. Your demographic observations are correct and I think your analysis goes a long way toward answering my question re the narrow focus on black-white. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/48 "2013-07-05T20:36:15Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Blanket racism is not the answer. These same racists do not have a big problem with White woman - Asian or White woman -Hispanic dating. The fury is reserved for White-Black dating almost exclusively. They are racist against blacks, not so much against Asians or Hispanics. ETA: what Belowjob .2.0 said. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/49 "2013-07-05T20:46:15Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Just like a whore. > > The most successful whore I’ve ever seen. I don’t know what you’re going for here, but just calling this woman a whore, though she’s a celebrity, for no reason, especially in a thread dealing with women’s dating practices, is just overall nasty and demeaning. You need to dial back, Drunky Smurf, and not just in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![LMarie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@LMarie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LMarie)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/50 "2013-07-05T20:51:20Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Let me approach an answer via a question. > > Can anyone point to a “first rate” (for lack of a better term) white woman who has publicly dated or married a black man? This may sound incredibly racist, but I sincerely don’t intend it to be. I just can’t think of a white woman who is attractive, self-confident and individually successful who has a black mate. The ones that come to mind are older, unattractive to some degree, have evident personal issues or bring nothing much to the relationship. > > Even if a counter-example or two can be found, especially in these (wonderfully) enlightened days, does anyone contend that I am wrong in a more general sense? > > So maybe subsequent lack of interest from white men is for other, pre-existing reasons. 1. [Cheryl Cole](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheryl_Cole) 2. [Joanna Shimkus](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joanna_Shimkus) (She’s of a certain age now, but wasn’t when she married Sydney Poitier) 3. Heidi Klum 4. Madonna (in her heyday) 5. [Idina Menzel](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idina_Menzel) 6. Khloe Kardashian (not sure if she qualifies according to your standards, but…) 7. Carmen Electra 8. Kendra Wilkinson ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/51 "2013-07-05T20:55:32Z")
You sure it wasn’t an autocorrect error for “black lab?” ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/52 "2013-07-05T20:59:20Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I’m recounting my observations. I’m not attempting to say they represent anything else. I am puzzled why I have yet, in my life, among non-celebs and attention whores, to see a woman I consider attractive with a black companion. My standards of “attractive” are not narrow or restricted (and not generally limited by race). > > If you find the question offensive or demeaning or insulting, my apologies. If you want to think I’m a shortsighted racist schmuck, I would only object to the “racist” part. Your suggested answer to why women who have relationships with black men have an alleged “taint” is that such women are ugly, old, crazy, or desperate. I think this goes beyond your observations, such as they are. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/53 "2013-07-05T21:12:11Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > You sure it wasn’t an autocorrect error for “black lab?” Actually, parts of black lab _do_ come off. You should see our carpet between vacuumings. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/54 "2013-07-05T21:18:36Z")
Don’t forget [Peggy Lipton](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peggy_Lipton) and Barbara Walters. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/55 "2013-07-05T21:31:11Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Don’t forget [Peggy Lipton](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peggy_Lipton) and Barbara Walters. Also Hilary Clinton, married to the first black president ever, according to some. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/56 "2013-07-05T21:35:05Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Also Hilary Clinton, married to the first black president ever, according to some. Not just that. The rumors about her hooking up with Jimi Hendrix. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/57 "2013-07-05T21:40:02Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I completely cop to the question sounding racist, perhaps even being inherently racist, but swear it’s not from any racist basis. Excluding the world of Celebrities™, which is reality the way Toontown is, I have yet to see an interracial couple, black male/white female, where the woman is anyone I’d give a second glance. They’ve invariably been on the wrong side of older for the couple, notably unattractive in some aspect, had behavior that made me wonder about their mental state, and in the cases where I interacted with them at any length, tended to confirm that they were a little on the damaged/needy/desperate side. You’re watching too much Springer. 🙂 I’ve known two white woman/black man couples. The women are head-turning gorgeous and the men are ordinary. Less than ordinary, actually. One of them has a scarred face from a childhood accident. All four are above average as far as education, career path, very successful. Smart people look past appearance. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/58 "2013-07-05T21:41:37Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Your suggested answer to why women who have relationships with black men have an alleged “taint” is that such women are ugly, old, crazy, or desperate. I think that may indeed be the case, although possibly only for what is now an older generation. I don’t agree with any aspect of the OP’s question, although it is self-evident that there are men out there with enough ingrained racism that a prior companion of color would “taint” a woman in their eyes. Some men (and women) are stupid assholes; film at eleven. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/59 "2013-07-05T22:03:50Z")
It’s probably a good sign that the woman wouldn’t be a racist and disapproves of racism so the fellow dumps her first before she dumps him for finding out he is a jerk racist. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/60 "2013-07-05T22:03:52Z")
I’ve participated in many online dating threads on this board, since, well, I am. One of the questions on OK Cupid asks if you’ve ever been in an interracial relationship, which I answer affirmatively. You wouldn’t believe how frequently I get racist messages because of that. The men of OKC have no problem telling me how I’m tainted and telling me to “enjoy getting AIDS from ni—r dick!” (No, really, that message has happened multiple times from different men). The upside to this, of course, is that it really helps me weed out the bigots and morons. It’s not just a rednecky white guy thing, by the way. In addition to crossing seemingly vast socio economic and educational brackets, I’ve seen just as many hispanic men vocalize their thoughts about this as white guys. In fact, a while back I was hanging out with some friends, a group which was predominantly Mexican- American. One of the Mexican girls commented that some black guy on TV was hot and you would not believe how quickly the crowd turned on her. 10+ guys started lecturing her, saying she’d be untouchable if she ever even thought about fucking a black guy, etc etc. Now, I concede this may have just been a group of derps, but over the years, I’ve heard similar comments from Hispanic men, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=4)