# If a woman has a past relationship with a black man she's tainted forever. Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743 "2013-07-05T18:45:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Zago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecccb3/32.png) [@Zago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zago)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/61 "2013-07-05T22:08:52Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Your suggested answer to why women who have relationships with black men have an alleged “taint” is that such women are ugly, old, crazy, or desperate. I think this goes beyond your observations, such as they are. That’s it in a nutshell. And now AB is suggesting that it’s only older women. Before that he modified his claim so as not to include celebrities. Honestly, the guy has so many screws loose that I have a hard time thinking he could actually date any woman who would meet his standards. But then, as Astro (the OP) pointed out, he would never approach me since I’ve dated a black man. So by implication, I’m the inferior one, not him! ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/62 "2013-07-05T22:10:55Z")
Perhaps the aversion to dating a white woman who had a prior relationship with a black man is more about a fear of gossip. You know, your friends talking behind your back “Hey man, did you know his girlfriend used to go out with a soul brother :eek:! _snort, chuckle, chuckle, hahaha_” ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/63 "2013-07-05T22:11:09Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I think that may indeed be the case, although possibly only for what is now an older generation. If men don’t want to date women who were in an interracial relationship, your hypothesis is that it’s because such women aren’t worth dating. Your suggestion is that the men aren’t racist, the women are gross. It’s almost as if something makes them gross. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/64 "2013-07-05T22:13:32Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > I don’t know what you’re going for here, but just calling this woman a whore, though she’s a celebrity, for no reason, especially in a thread dealing with women’s dating practices, is just overall nasty and demeaning. You need to dial back, Drunky Smurf, and not just in this thread. It’s meant in a non-sexual sense. She’ll commercialize herself for anything. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/65 "2013-07-05T22:18:26Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > It’s meant in a non-sexual sense. She’ll commercialize herself for anything. Yes, that’s the only possible explanation for why she fucks black guys. Thank you. Remember, you called her a whore in response to someone saying she was confidant. I’m not even sure what self confidant like a whore even means, but there you go. Don’t back track now, stick to your guns, buddy. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/66 "2013-07-05T22:22:49Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > It’s meant in a non-sexual sense. She’ll commercialize herself for anything. I did wonder about that mod call out. Kim Kardashian and her tribe have monetized every part of their existence from [selling her initial sex tape](http://hollywoodlife.com/2012/08/10/kim-kardashian-sex-tape-kris-jenner-regrets-settlement-deal/), to selling her fake wedding, and the entire reality show existence. If may not be prostitution, but whatever it is it’s not all that far away. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/67 "2013-07-05T22:50:50Z")
> [@astro](#): > > but whatever it is it’s not all that far away. Oh, what in the misogynistic hell. . . . ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/68 "2013-07-05T23:08:28Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Your suggested answer to why women who have relationships with black men have an alleged “taint” is that such women are ugly, old, crazy, or desperate. > [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I think that may indeed be the case, although possibly only for what is now an older generation. If these women are so unappealing, why are black men willing to date them? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/69 "2013-07-05T23:24:52Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Can anyone point to a “first rate” (for lack of a better term) white woman who has publicly dated or married a black man? This may sound incredibly racist, but I sincerely don’t intend it to be. I just can’t think of a white woman who is attractive, self-confident and individually successful who has a black mate. I know a local bank manager who is attractive, self-confident, and could probably be described as “individually successful” who married a black man. She’s certainly not riding on his coattails - he’s a “sanitation engineer” (or was when the married - he’s retired now). It’s an unusual pairing but they’ve been together a couple decades. OK, she’s not a famous celebrity but I’d say she’s an example that there are “white woman who is attractive, self-confident and individually successful” who have a black mate. There are probably more of them out there, but if they’re living quiet, happy lives with their mates and not making a big deal out of the marriage you may not be aware they’re in a racially mixed marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/70 "2013-07-05T23:40:52Z")
Uh oh. I had a lost summer with a black guy when I was 19, and I’m white. Apparently I _did_ have something to confess in Zebra’s secrets thread! Except, oops, I just blabbed. Rats. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/71 "2013-07-05T23:53:03Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I checked the date twice, but it seems like this thread dates from the 1960’s. :dubious: > > Do you have a current cite? Say, from this century? So,you got nothing then, and you are just trying to rile dudes up?::rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2013, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/72 "2013-07-05T23:59:30Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > So,you got nothing then, and you are just trying to rile dudes up?::rolleyes: Reduced to fighting with yourself? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/73 "2013-07-06T00:03:16Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Reduced to fighting with yourself? Well, if the OP can’t come up with a response, I guess so. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/74 "2013-07-06T00:18:34Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > So,you got nothing then, and you are just trying to rile dudes up?::rolleyes: I swear to God it’s like you’re an engendered lemur living in protected compound or something. Nasty, hardcore racism exists in many pockets of the US. Especially in quasi-rural areas outside of the of the suburbs and urban areas. The fact that it’s not front and center in your particular neck of the woods must mean it doesn’t exist at all. After all it’s not in front of you, your buddies and peers aren’t racists, so no one else must be virulent racists. No one is going to have big articles, studies or cites for the kind of petty racist nonsense I’m referencing. It’s just part of an attitudinal landscape among certain racist groups in certain areas. if you don’t want to believe it exists and this is all some big fantasy just go back to drinking your PBR and continue to be amazed at life. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/75 "2013-07-06T00:22:49Z")
I’m another data point on the “Why the hell wouldn’t you think attractive white women marry black guys?” meme. I have a good, gorgeous, white friend who is happily married to a black man and expecting her first child. She’s also extremely intelligent, passionate and witty. I certainly don’t find her tainted or somehow bad goods that she’s in this relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Glazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e57/32.png) [@Glazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glazer)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/76 "2013-07-06T00:36:38Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Let me approach an answer via a question. > > Can anyone point to a “first rate” (for lack of a better term) white woman who has publicly dated or married a black man? This may sound incredibly racist, but I sincerely don’t intend it to be. I just can’t think of a white woman who is attractive, self-confident and individually successful who has a black mate. The ones that come to mind are older, unattractive to some degree, have evident personal issues or bring nothing much to the relationship. > > Even if a counter-example or two can be found, especially in these (wonderfully) enlightened days, does anyone contend that I am wrong in a more general sense? > > So maybe subsequent lack of interest from white men is for other, pre-existing reasons. Maybe all the first rate people have left your Podunk town. > [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > Not just that. The rumors about her hooking up with Jimi Hendrix. 😃 Well to be honest that one would taint Jimi. > [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I’ve participated in many online dating threads on this board, since, well, I am. One of the questions on OK Cupid asks if you’ve ever been in an interracial relationship, which I answer affirmatively. You wouldn’t believe how frequently I get racist messages because of that. The men of OKC have no problem telling me how I’m tainted and telling me to “enjoy getting AIDS from ni—r dick!” (No, really, that message has happened multiple times from different men). > > The upside to this, of course, is that it really helps me weed out the bigots and morons. > > It’s not just a rednecky white guy thing, by the way. In addition to crossing seemingly vast socio economic and educational brackets, I’ve seen just as many hispanic men vocalize their thoughts about this as white guys. In fact, a while back I was hanging out with some friends, a group which was predominantly Mexican- American. One of the Mexican girls commented that some black guy on TV was hot and you would not believe how quickly the crowd turned on her. 10+ guys started lecturing her, saying she’d be untouchable if she ever even thought about fucking a black guy, etc etc. Now, I concede this may have just been a group of derps, but over the years, I’ve heard similar comments from Hispanic men, too. I’ve always thought you are black. If so then that is truly hilarious. Sad but hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/77 "2013-07-06T00:45:44Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I have yet to see an interracial couple, black male/white female, where the woman is anyone I’d give a second glance. They’ve invariably been on the wrong side of older for the couple, notably unattractive in some aspect, had behavior that made me wonder about their mental state, and in the cases where I interacted with them at any length, tended to confirm that they were a little on the damaged/needy/desperate side. Y’know my mother’s second marriage was to a black man. Are you talking shit about my mom? 🙂 I’m afraid I’m going to have to go with the consensus and say your personal experience might be a bit limiting on this topic. Putting my mother aside\*, I’ve known quite a few interracial couples in a variety of configurations probably in part due to the circles my parents traveled in ( lefty politics ) and suffice it to say my experiences do not jibe with yours. - Actually I think my mother was on the “reasonably pretty” side of the equation when she was younger. Certainly she aged fairly well, I was always mortified and she was tickled when people thought we were a couple when we’d go out for a meal years ago ( used to happen occasionally when I was in my 20’s-30’s and she is ~25 years older ). Sadly, I did not inherit her family’s looks. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/78 "2013-07-06T00:49:46Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > **@Moonlitherial** , I really can’t make head or tail of your post or exactly who you’re replying to. > > I completely cop to the question sounding racist, perhaps even being inherently racist, but swear it’s not from any racist basis. Excluding the world of Celebrities™, which is reality the way Toontown is, I have yet to see an interracial couple, black male/white female, where the woman is anyone I’d give a second glance. My sister’s an attractive, educated, smart lady who married a black man. Hell of a great guy, too. You’re suffering from confirmation bias. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/79 "2013-07-06T00:54:51Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > So,you got nothing then, and you are just trying to rile dudes up?::rolleyes: :D:D:D Seriously, I can’t stop laughing. Do you have multiple personalities? ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/80 "2013-07-06T01:06:00Z")
They just want to date other racists. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=5)