# If a woman has a past relationship with a black man she's tainted forever. Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743 "2013-07-05T18:45:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/121 "2013-07-06T17:32:14Z")
What are you ignorant about **BigT**? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/122 "2013-07-06T20:06:40Z")
> [@the\_apples\_fell](#): > > I have heard it before. For some reason, many of the people I have met who despise white woman/black men relationships, have no issue with the reverse (black woman/white man). > > Another argument I have seen given, by one of my aunts, is that white women who date black men tend to be trashy/“ghetto” acting, whereas black women who date white men tend to be the opposite of that and more upscale.. thus, stereotypically the black woman with the white man will act “white” while the white woman with the black man will act “black” (I have these in quotations since I know you can’t “act” a certain race, but that’s what people think). > > Thus, they perceive the outcome of one of the pairings to be “better”. I think this ties back to sexist ideas about (heterosexual) romantic relationships – that the man is the one in charge. So if the man is “one of us” and gets involved with a woman who’s “one of them” then his peers may question his judgment but not really be bothered by it because at least “one of us” is the dominant one in the relationship. But if a “one of us” woman is involved with a “one of them” man, that’s “one of us” submitting to “one of them”! :eek: I say “us” and “them” because I don’t think this sort of thinking is limited to interracial relationships; it could apply to relationships that are “mixed” in terms of religion, social class, educational level, etc. But since race is both visible and unchangeable, an interracial couple is going to be a lot more obvious than a couple where one person comes from money and the other doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/123 "2013-07-06T20:21:19Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I know, right? > > **astro** , you are neither young or dumb. You have been privy to years of SD threads on the nature and history of anti-black racism. So while I don’t think you’re trolling or lying, it does puzzle me why you’re so confused about this. Do you understand why some of us don’t understand why you even had to ask this question? Hey, look, **monstro** & I agree. 😃 Yes, **astro** , there is racism in America, no surprise.:rolleyes: Much much much less than when I was a kid, but it will always remain.☹ But I just don’t get the OP as anything but shit-stirring. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/124 "2013-07-06T20:28:27Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > **@Moonlitherial** , I really can’t make head or tail of your post or exactly who you’re replying to. > > I completely cop to the question sounding racist, perhaps even being inherently racist, but swear it’s not from any racist basis. Excluding the world of Celebrities™, which is reality the way Toontown is, I have yet to see an interracial couple, black male/white female, where the woman is anyone I’d give a second glance. They’ve invariably been on the wrong side of older for the couple, notably unattractive in some aspect, had behavior that made me wonder about their mental state, and in the cases where I interacted with them at any length, tended to confirm that they were a little on the damaged/needy/desperate side. > > I am NOT saying that’s the only case. I’m saying I can’t think of any counter-examples I’ve seen, in person or in media. Maybe in the under-30 crowd with which I have zero interaction it’s different now… but I’m speaking from observations across the SE spectrum for a good 25-30 years. > > If you think I’m wrong, fine… but I’m still waiting to meet such a couple that includes a woman I’d hit on. [ETA]…whether she was with a black man, white man, woman of any race or alone. Most couples aren’t made up of “first-rate” drop-dead gorgeous folks. Most couples are made up of average looking people. So I don’t know why you’d discount inter-racial couples that have exactly the same gorgeous factor makeup as white-white couples. The number of gorgeous people couples (who aren’t celebrities) is so rare that I don’t think you can draw any conclusions from the racial make up of these folks. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/125 "2013-07-06T21:37:39Z")
> [@the\_apples\_fell](#): > > I will confirm what the OP is stating, that I have met people who are otherwise not racist at all (or rather, give no indication of being racist), would proudly state they believe in equality for all, and have no outwardly negative feelings toward anyone of any other race, but they have an issue with white women dating black men.. and ONLY that interracial pairing. Black women with white men doesn’t bother them at all interestingly, nor does a white woman with any other race or group (Asian, Hispanic, etc.) So they are otherwise not racists except for the part were they are obviously and blatantly racist, gotcha. I don’t know what is so hard to understand about “this people are simply racists”, they are not some different phenomenon or special case, they are just plain old garden variety racist fucks, period. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/126 "2013-07-06T21:43:41Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > You have decided to purposefully misconstrue what I’ve said. And since you have admitted on other message boards that you enjoy trolling this one I shall no longer take you have to say seriously. You should definitely know better by now. You’ve been toeing the line regarding comments for the last few weeks, but this one crosses it. So here’s a warning for you. Do not accuse others of being trolls in this forum. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/127 "2013-07-06T22:25:03Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Same place black people get “cracker” and “honky”? Nah. Not the same place. Cracka has an edgy, dirty ring to it. Rolls off the tongue all cool. “mudshark” reeks of trying too hard. I really think racist white people blew their wad with 'nigger". But damn, that was such a jackpot, did they really need anything else? ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/128 "2013-07-06T22:59:45Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Nah. Not the same place. Cracka has an edgy, dirty ring to it. Rolls off the tongue all cool. “mudshark” reeks of trying too hard. I really think racist white people blew their wad with 'nigger". But damn, that was such a jackpot, did they really need anything else? It _is_ the gift that keeps on giving. Like herpes. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/129 "2013-07-06T23:26:21Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Come on, people. This is the South we are talking about. Of course the issue is religious in nature. The only enemy the white woman is fraternizing with is Satan. Wrong. This isn’t just the South we’re talking about at all. Several people have indicated that this attitude has been seen in places other than the South. Although I specifically did not mention a location, my example was not in the South and others have specifically mentioned northern states. So despite how much you seem to want to believe you’ve got this all wrapped up, you just don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/130 "2013-07-06T23:56:15Z")
> [@Tequila\_Party](#): > > What are you ignorant about **BigT**? I think he made that pretty clear in his post–viz. racism in the US. ---
**Author:** ![Psychopants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Psychopants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psychopants)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2013, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/131 "2013-07-06T23:59:25Z")
> [@LMarie](#): > > 1. [Cheryl Cole](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheryl_Cole) > > 2. [Joanna Shimkus](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joanna_Shimkus) (She’s of a certain age now, but wasn’t when she married Sydney Poitier) > > 3. Heidi Klum > > 4. Madonna (in her heyday) > > 5. [Idina Menzel](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idina_Menzel) > > 6. Khloe Kardashian (not sure if she qualifies according to your standards, but…) > > 7. Carmen Electra > > 8. Kendra Wilkinson Mariah Carey. ---
**Author:** ![Glazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e57/32.png) [@Glazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glazer)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/132 "2013-07-07T00:22:55Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Nah. Not the same place. Cracka has an edgy, dirty ring to it. Rolls off the tongue all cool. “mudshark” reeks of trying too hard. I really think racist white people blew their wad with 'nigger". But damn, that was such a jackpot, did they really need anything else? I think we did alright with spook. Not the same punch as nigger but you can say it in front of Maw-Maw. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/133 "2013-07-07T00:37:15Z")
> [@Psychopants](#): > > Mariah Carey. Not white. Also, assuming we’re judging by whether or not I can stand someone, she’s not “first rate”. ---
**Author:** ![Jungian\_Camisole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@Jungian\_Camisole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jungian_Camisole)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/134 "2013-07-07T02:38:01Z")
Having only read a few replies (and hoping I don’t get ninja’d), I’m gonna have to go with Julie Lipton and Quincy Jones. You may have heard of their daughter Rashida. She’s fairly successful. As are her mother and father. I swear to Og that I will never understand racist attitudes. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/135 "2013-07-07T02:44:26Z")
> [@Jungian\_Camisole](#): > > Having only read a few replies (and hoping I don’t get ninja’d), I’m gonna have to go with Julie Lipton and Quincy Jones. You may have heard of their daughter Rashida. She’s fairly successful. As are her mother and father. > > I swear to Og that I will never understand racist attitudes. Peggy Lipton. And yes, she’s already been mentioned. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/136 "2013-07-07T04:09:17Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Not white. Also, assuming we’re judging by whether or not I can stand someone, she’s not “first rate”. Can I have your shot at her, then? 😃 Maybe annoying but those legs and that ass- wowzer. ---
**Author:** ![the\_apples\_fell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@the\_apples\_fell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_apples_fell)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/137 "2013-07-07T04:12:40Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > So they are otherwise not racists except for the part were they are obviously and blatantly racist, gotcha. I don’t know what is so hard to understand about “this people are simply racists”, they are not some different phenomenon or special case, they are just plain old garden variety racist fucks, period. I think there are different degrees of racist. Someone who is virulently racist toward everyone all the time is completely different than someone who is otherwise not racist but the black man/white woman pairing just irks them. Not like I am defending it because I think it’s an ignorant attitude, but there are different degrees of racism. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/138 "2013-07-07T04:20:00Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Let me approach an answer via a question. > > Can anyone point to a “first rate” (for lack of a better term) white woman who has publicly dated or married a black man? This may sound incredibly racist, but I sincerely don’t intend it to be. I just can’t think of a white woman who is attractive, self-confident and individually successful who has a black mate. The ones that come to mind are older, unattractive to some degree, have evident personal issues or bring nothing much to the relationship. > > Even if a counter-example or two can be found, especially in these (wonderfully) enlightened days, does anyone contend that I am wrong in a more general sense? > > So maybe subsequent lack of interest from white men is for other, pre-existing reasons. What counts as first rate? Off the top of my head, Two of the most desirable women who have been involved with black men include Heidi Klum and Kim Kardashian. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/139 "2013-07-07T04:24:14Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Can I have your shot at her, then? 😃 Maybe annoying but those legs and that ass- wowzer. She’s beautiful, but she’d probably want to talk to you and stuff, so make sure you think this one through. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/140 "2013-07-07T06:01:26Z")
Didn’t Kim Basinger have a thing with Prince around the first Batman film? You can’t get much more first-rate than 1989 Kim Basinger. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=8)