# If a woman has a past relationship with a black man she's tainted forever. Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743 "2013-07-05T18:45:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/141 "2013-07-07T11:45:38Z")
> [@the\_apples\_fell](#): > > I think there are different degrees of racist. Someone who is virulently racist toward everyone all the time is completely different than someone who is otherwise not racist but the black man/white woman pairing just irks them. I disagree with this, but I’d think a stronger counter-argument for your point would be the typical hypocrisy expressed by such people. I’ve met many a white guy that hated white woman/black man pairings who have no problem with ones were the genders are reversed. I’ve seen the same attitude in black women - white woman/black man is a huge betrayal and sign of disrespect to black women everywhere (your mother, your sisters, Jane Pittman, Oprah, whoever), even if the man is someone they find disgusting (OJ); a white man that dates black women is no problem. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2013, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/142 "2013-07-07T21:33:46Z")
I’ve heard of this. Not much of a data point, but in my circle, when I hear of it, it’s usually assumed the woman dated the black man only to get a rise out of her parents, and not because she really liked him or anything. So it says something about her, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/143 "2013-07-08T00:08:45Z")
As a hispanic man i’ve have women act very enthusiastic about dating hispanic men and then after a moment of panic they are always quick to add that they’d never date a black guy. And to me it almost always sounded like they said it because they assumed i would be the one with the problem if they did. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/144 "2013-07-08T00:32:53Z")
> [@Glazer](#): > > I think we did alright with spook. Not the same punch as nigger but you can say it in front of Maw-Maw. No, spook is corny as hell. It almost sounds like something cool to be. I think if you guys came up with anything at all besides nigger that had some bite, it would be coon. But even that is a bit lame. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/145 "2013-07-08T00:39:33Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > No, spook is corny as hell. It almost sounds like something cool to be. I think if you guys came up with anything at all besides nigger that had some bite, it would be coon. But even that is a bit lame. [This](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0160904/?ref_=sr_1)is a kick-ass spy series on BBC; care to guess what its UK title is? ---
**Author:** ![Jungian\_Camisole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@Jungian\_Camisole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jungian_Camisole)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/146 "2013-07-08T01:18:17Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Peggy Lipton. And yes, she’s already been mentioned. 😉 Dagnabbit! And I was also incorrect on her first name :smack: Thank you for the correction , **Monstro**. The only serious boyfriend that I had before I met my husband was a black guy. Why did I date him, you ask? Because he was (and most likely still is) sweet, funny, thoughtful, intelligent, and a good man. I really liked him. A lot. But I didn’t love him in the way that he deserved; that was totally unfair to both of us, so it had to end. And ending it sucked dripping donkey balls because he was such a decent guy. To this day, I hope that he married a good woman and has a house full of adoring children. He deserved a happy life. Just not with me. Do I still sound like damaged goods? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Glazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e57/32.png) [@Glazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glazer)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/147 "2013-07-08T01:54:10Z")
You like 'coon? Really? I never did get that one. My dad was as racist as the day is long. But was too polite to ever say nigger.\* He always used “non-swimer”. \*except to call me a nigger lover on occasion. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/148 "2013-07-08T02:15:09Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > [This](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0160904/?ref_=sr_1)is a kick-ass spy series on BBC; care to guess what its UK title is? See? It’s damn near a compliment. > [@Glazer](#): > > You like 'coon? Really? I never did get that one. My dad was as racist as the day is long. But was too polite to ever say nigger.\* He always used “non-swimer”. > > \*except to call me a nigger lover on occasion. Yeah, I think it has a bit of bite. I can see some sensitive blacks getting a their feelings hurt a bit with that one. Mudshark? Man, even a super sensitive black who marched on Washington wouldn’t flinch. Non-swimmer? Hahaa. I still can’t figure out why so many black people I know can’t swim. I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/149 "2013-07-08T03:48:40Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > She’s beautiful, but she’d probably want to talk to you and stuff, so make sure you think this one through. I can’t just have her sing to me while I admire her looks?☹ ---
**Author:** ![Glazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e57/32.png) [@Glazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glazer)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/150 "2013-07-08T04:22:35Z")
I suggest youtube. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/151 "2013-07-08T04:42:10Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > I can’t just have her sing to me while I admire her looks?☹ Oh dear, I’m sure her singing will get annoying quite quickly. You know Whitney Houston’s song I Will Always Love You? I never had any problem with it before, in fact, I kind of liked it. Hear it every fucking annoying day though (as I do on work Muzak) while you’re trying to concentrate on something else and you’ll quickly want to stab someone. Mariah Carey’s music doesn’t harass me as often but it’s annoying in the same way; too controntational. Imagine that when you’re just trying to sleep in on a day off or something. She’s be like, “Get up and mow the laAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAawn”. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/152 "2013-07-08T04:47:25Z")
I realized something while reading this thread. I have no idea if any of my wife’s former boyfriends were black. In college, she dated a member of the football team, and I know of two or three other relationships. I never asked her if she was tainted. Do most people ask about race? ---
**Author:** ![kevinb70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7cd45c/32.png) [@kevinb70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevinb70)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/153 "2013-07-08T05:24:06Z")
White male here. I’ve had white women say they wouldn’t date me / turned off by the fact that I’ve dated black women. It’s a great excuse to get a white woman (with bunny boiler tendencies) disinterested in me. Just bring up some pics on my phone… ---
**Author:** ![fjs1fs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9e8a1a/32.png) [@fjs1fs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fjs1fs)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/154 "2013-07-08T17:53:27Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I’ve participated in many online dating threads on this board, since, well, I am. One of the questions on OK Cupid asks if you’ve ever been in an interracial relationship, which I answer affirmatively. You wouldn’t believe how frequently I get racist messages because of that. The men of OKC have no problem telling me how I’m tainted and telling me to “enjoy getting AIDS from ni—r dick!” (No, really, that message has happened multiple times from different men). > > The upside to this, of course, is that it really helps me weed out the bigots and morons. > > It’s not just a rednecky white guy thing, by the way. In addition to crossing seemingly vast socio economic and educational brackets, I’ve seen just as many hispanic men vocalize their thoughts about this as white guys. In fact, a while back I was hanging out with some friends, a group which was predominantly Mexican- American. One of the Mexican girls commented that some black guy on TV was hot and you would not believe how quickly the crowd turned on her. 10+ guys started lecturing her, saying she’d be untouchable if she ever even thought about fucking a black guy, etc etc. Now, I concede this may have just been a group of derps, but over the years, I’ve heard similar comments from Hispanic men, too. Good point, and I thought this right away when I read the comment upthread that this was just a “southern” thing. I’m a white male, and growing up in NYC in the 70’s, 80s, 90s, the whole concept of black men with white women was considered abhorrent and disgusting. I’ve heard guys make comments that they’d KILL (or at least disown) their daughter if she brought home a black man. Maybe this attitude is less pervasive in 2013, but we’re being naive if we don’t think people still feel this way. I’ll also add that many black women aren’t exactly crazy about black guys hooking up with white girls (and many black men aren’t crazy about white guys hooking up with black women) . ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/155 "2013-07-10T06:57:24Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Lots of weird places, judging by this and past OPs. Heh I had a similar reaction to a topic I made asking what was the deal with the often vicious racism in black/white porn, and everyone was like what internet are you using?:dubious: But the funny thing is in real life everyone knew what I was talking about, a gay guy even told me it is rampant in black/white gay porn. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/156 "2013-07-11T19:13:40Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > Depends on where you live, I’ve heard of it with white women dating Hispanic and Native American men. Yes, sometimes I think it’s just about how non-white the guy in question seems or looks. My first boyfriend was a Guatemalan immigrant and was 100% native, dark-skinned with no ‘Caucasian’ features. I’ve had guys act really weird when I’ve talked about him or they saw pictures of us - and these weren’t guys who I’d ever have pegged as ‘racist’. But for some reason this one relationship of mine, gives them pause. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/157 "2013-07-11T22:56:43Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > Yes, sometimes I think it’s just about how non-white the guy in question seems or looks. My first boyfriend was a Guatemalan immigrant and was 100% native, dark-skinned with no ‘Caucasian’ features. I’ve had guys act really weird when I’ve talked about him or they saw pictures of us - and these weren’t guys who I’d ever have pegged as ‘racist’. But for some reason this one relationship of mine, gives them pause. I’d say pegging them would make them more agreeable. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/158 "2013-07-11T23:58:18Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > I’d say pegging them would make them more agreeable. To clarify - these were not men I dated. Sometimes the topic of past relationships comes up in general conversation, or people outright ask you, or pictures of you with ex-boyfriends are on Facebook, or someone from high school remembers seeing you driving round town with a ‘Mexican’, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Chicagojeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@Chicagojeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicagojeff)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/159 "2013-07-12T05:37:22Z")
Allow me to add… I was on another board years ago (KCFORUM) which was pretty cool for a while… one dude on the board cdubb (names not changed to protect the bigot) told a story about dumping some gorgeous KU coed because on the fourth or fifth date? he noticed a picture of her with her black boyfriend from high school… Well… yeah… the term mudshark was thrown around… eventually i left that board. I would add that my beloved might end your drought amateur barbarian… but first and foremost who set you up to judge what is quality and what is not… and maybe you should look into your heart and determine why exactly is this scenario playing out for you? As someone mentioned much earlier… confirmation bias might be the key… my friends have told me what Diosa mentioned earlier…it is what it is… I know that when I go out with the pretty scientist if I stay attuned to the looks… or behavior directed our way I would never enjoy my time with her… I’m not going to spend my life battling people who will never see things any other way. I disagree with tracijo… i like it out in the open. I much prefer to know who would rather not have us at their event… ---
**Author:** ![John\_Doe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@John\_Doe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Doe)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/160 "2014-05-12T02:55:28Z")
> [@astro](#): > > In looking around the web and IRL there seems to be a number of white men who will not consider dating a white woman who has dated or had a past sexual relationship with a black man. In some cases if they find out about her interracial dating history only after they begin dating they will make something else up as to why they are bailing on the relationship. > > Obviously it’s racist on it’s face, but the strength of the attitude surprises me. Even fairly attractive and accomplished women are shunned as some sort of unclean trash if they have dated black men. I only see this attitude with respect to white men judging white women for dating black men. Possibly other scenarios exist, but this is the main one I see. This race centric judgment does not seem to be present for any other interracial hookups. > > Why does this extreme antipathy exist? While it’s obnoxiously racist it’s not just poor rednecks espousing this attitude. I’ve seen this attitude ranging from trailer parks to the executive suites. And oddly some people who have this attitude aren’t that overtly racist in real world behavior, it’s just that specific hookup scenario that makes them lock the doors on even considering women who have dated black men. > > Why the extreme attitude? I’m a white male racist so I think I can answer your question for you. The simple answer is because these white women are low-life bestiality whores. They are attracted to men from a race that when left to themselves results in a black African country or an American inner city. Blacks are murderous. The homicide rate for Southern Africa is 30 times higher than the homicide rate for Western Europe. Blacks in America murder at a rate more than 7 times higher than the white murder rate. > **[List of countries by intentional homicide rate](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_murder_rate#By_region)** > > The list of countries by homicide rate is derived from United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) data, and is expressed in number of deaths per 100,000 population per year. For example, a homicide rate of 30 out of 100,000 is presented in the table as "30", and corresponds to 0.03% of the population dying by homicide. The reliability of underlying national murder rate data may vary. Only UNODC-vetted data is used in the main table to maintain consistency. In some cases, i Homicide rates ... > **[Bureau of Justice Statistics Homicide trends in the U.S.: Trends by race](http://web.archive.org/web/20121019014646/http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/homicide/race.cfm)** > > Charts and tables about homicide trends by race in the United States. Blacks are diseased. The African continent is home to about 15.2 percent of the world’s population but Sub-Saharan Africa alone accounted for an estimated 70 percent of all people living with HIV and 70 percent of all AIDS deaths in 2011. In America, in 2010, men accounted for 70% (14,700) of the estimated 20,900 new HIV infections among all adult and adolescent African Americans. The estimated rate of new HIV infections for African American men (103.6/100,000 population) was 7 times that of white men. > **[HIV/AIDS in Africa](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HIV/AIDS_in_Africa)** > > HIV/AIDS originated in the early 20th century and remains a significant public health challenge, particularly in Africa. Although the continent constitutes about 17% of the world's population, it bears a disproportionate burden of the epidemic. As of 2023, around 25.6 million people in sub-Saharan Africa were living with HIV, accounting for over two-thirds of the global total. The majority of new infections and AIDS-related deaths occur in Eastern and Southern Africa, which house approximat [http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/racialethnic/aa/facts/index.html](http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/racialethnic/aa/facts/index.html) Blacks have a low average IQ. > **[Race and intelligence](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_and_intelligence#United_States_test_scores)** > > Discussions of race and intelligence – specifically regarding claims of differences in intelligence along racial lines – have appeared in both popular science and academic research since the modern concept of race was first introduced. With the inception of IQ testing in the early 20th century, differences in average test performance between racial groups have been observed, though these differences have fluctuated and in many cases steadily decreased over time. Complicating the issue, modern ... [http://www-cgi.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/presents/shows/the.gap/interactive/interactive/frameset.exclude.html](http://www-cgi.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/presents/shows/the.gap/interactive/interactive/frameset.exclude.html) Blacks are primitively ugly (e.g., they have prognathism or ape jaws). “In modern craniofacial anthropometry, Negroid describes features that typify skulls of black people. These include a broad and round nasal cavity; no dam or nasal sill; Quonset hut-shaped nasal bones; notable facial projection in the jaw and mouth area (prognathism); a rectangular-shaped palate; a square or rectangular eye orbit shape;[23] and large, megadontic teeth.” > **[Negroid](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negroid#Craniofacial_traits)** > > Negroid (less commonly called Congoid) is an obsolete racial grouping of various people indigenous to Africa south of the area which stretched from the southern Sahara desert in the west to the African Great Lakes in the southeast, but also to isolated parts of South and Southeast Asia (Negritos). The term is derived from now-disproven conceptions of race as a biological category. > The concept of dividing humans into three races called Caucasoid, Mongoloid, and Negroid (originally named "Ethiop... So any white woman who is attracted to these primitives and thinks it is a good idea to mix these black genes into the white gene pool is a lowlife and a fool. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=9)