# If a woman has a past relationship with a black man she's tainted forever. Why? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2013, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743 "2013-07-05T18:45:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Chicagojeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@Chicagojeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicagojeff)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/161 "2014-05-12T03:27:47Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Let me approach an answer via a question. > > Can anyone point to a “first rate” (for lack of a better term) white woman who has publicly dated or married a black man? This may sound incredibly racist, but I sincerely don’t intend it to be. I just can’t think of a white woman who is attractive, self-confident and individually successful who has a black mate. The ones that come to mind are older, unattractive to some degree, have evident personal issues or bring nothing much to the relationship. > > Even if a counter-example or two can be found, especially in these (wonderfully) enlightened days, does anyone contend that I am wrong in a more general sense? > > So maybe subsequent lack of interest from white men is for other, pre-existing reasons. Has this answered your question Astro? BTW AB… My fiance… she’s beautiful. successful… and amazingly her body is a single digit size… ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/162 "2014-05-12T03:36:32Z")
> [@John\_Doe](#): > > I’m a white male racist so I think I can answer your question for you. I love the ones who will just come right out and say it instead of dicking around with lies about how they aren’t prejudiced they just think black people are stupid, ugly, violent, and diseased. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/163 "2014-05-12T07:14:52Z")
And just to make it official, Reported. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/164 "2014-05-12T11:25:49Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I love the ones who will just come right out and say it instead of dicking around with lies about how they aren’t prejudiced they just think black people are stupid, ugly, violent, and diseased. “Love” may be putting it too strongly. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/165 "2014-05-12T11:48:05Z")
I agree, having a racist who doesn’t beat around the bush and doesn’t try to hide is refreshing on a certain level. I still find his views offensive, but the honesty is nice. ---
**Author:** ![nevadaexile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb8c5e/32.png) [@nevadaexile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevadaexile)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/166 "2014-05-12T14:14:18Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Let me approach an answer via a question. > > Can anyone point to a “first rate” (for lack of a better term) white woman who has publicly dated or married a black man? This may sound incredibly racist, but I sincerely don’t intend it to be. I just can’t think of a white woman who is attractive, self-confident and individually successful who has a black mate. The ones that come to mind are older, unattractive to some degree, have evident personal issues or bring nothing much to the relationship. > > Even if a counter-example or two can be found, especially in these (wonderfully) enlightened days, does anyone contend that I am wrong in a more general sense? > > So maybe subsequent lack of interest from white men is for other, pre-existing reasons. Trust me sport, if you haven’t seen a good looking White woman with Black guy then you either live in the rural South or you don’t get out much. I, on the other hand,have seen many unattractive White women with children who are clearly not biracial which tells me that they were more than capable of landing at least one White male partner. Probably more. Anyway, it’s racism pure and simple. Most White Americans believe that they somehow superior to Blacks ( of any nationality or economic status) and they attempt to flout that perceived “superiority” by extending it to their dating/relationship preferences. Since I usually don’t care who women who I have dated are with after me (and never before me unless the guy is some kind of a stalker) as a Black man I find the entire mindset to be both laughable and pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/167 "2014-05-12T14:53:11Z")
> [@nevadaexile](#): > > Trust me sport, if you haven’t seen a good looking White woman with Black guy then you either live in the rural South or you don’t get out much. Geez, it just amazes me that people continually jump all over “racism” and back their views with blatant stereotypes. Someone really has to explain the difference to me some day. I live in a suburb of one of the largest cities in the south. I travel the rural south east fairly extensively, little hamlets and towns you’ve never heard of unless you’re from there, and interact with people of all socio-economic levels. I see proportionally as many interracial couples in the rural towns as I do in the big city. I would wager that racism in the rural south today is no more (or less) prevalent than in the rural north, west or east. Does it happen? Absolutely. Too often? Any often is too often. Is it more endemic in one region than in others? Don’t think so. While the target of descrimination may change from region to region (black, white, native american, indian, asian, outsiders, etc.), attitudes are pretty much the same. ETA: I quoted you, **nevadaexile** , but the rant was not directed at you. Didn’t mean any offense, just blowing off steam. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/168 "2014-05-12T15:34:27Z")
I believe the whole topic is a lot deeper than it might appear on the surface. A lot of white women are victims of oppression, they are not allowed to openly express their opinions on certain issues. If a white woman in some settings makes a comment that a black man is handsome or cute she is immediately come down on. She learns very young to keep her thoughts to herself. She may very well grow up with a rebelious attitude that all white men are oppressive and really not like white men very much. If she chooses to date outside her race she is seen as rebellious and not changeable. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/169 "2014-05-12T15:40:47Z")
If someone told me that they thought the races should keep to themselves or that white women shouldn’t date black men, you’d have to pick my jaw off the floor because it would be as offputting and surprising as if they’d attempted to diagnose my personality phrenologically. Sure, people thought that way back in loser times but it’s 2014, man! ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/170 "2014-05-12T15:45:16Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > If someone told me that they thought the races should keep to themselves or that white women shouldn’t date black men, you’d have to pick my jaw off the floor because it would be as offputting and surprising as if they’d attempted to diagnose my personality phrenologically. Sure, people thought that way back in loser times but it’s 2014, man! You will seldom or never hear this in public anymore but if a young lady brings home a young black man to date it is not uncommon for the parents to find a good reason they shouldn’t be dating him. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/171 "2014-05-12T16:28:45Z")
According to Cracked, Hollywood still shies away from pairing a white woman with a black man – [5 Old-Timey Prejudices That Still Show Up in Every Movie | Cracked.com](http://www.cracked.com/article_19549_5-old-timey-prejudices-that-still-show-up-in-every-movie.html) > **[6 Insane Stereotypes That You Still See in Every Movie](https://www.cracked.com/video_18849_6-insane-stereotypes-that-you-still-see-in-every-movie.html)** > > It's like 'The Birth of a Nation' all over again. ---
**Author:** ![Maeganspop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Maeganspop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeganspop)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/172 "2014-05-12T21:16:14Z")
I don’t know if this has been covered. I admit I was lazy and read only the first page. I have some experience with seeing the effects of interracial relationships. My wife works for a Boy’s and Girl’s Club. I have nothing against people who truly love each other being together. Everyone should be as happy as they can be. But, do you think of what might happen from your relationship? I admit I live in the rural south, but I would imagine this happens elsewhere as well. A mixed race child has some tremendous challenges to overcome. In my experience, they are not truly White, Black, Hispanic, Asian (I admit here I have not seen that. Asian I mean. Just a guess.). They are sometimes ostracized by one race or another. They express their feelings that that don’t belong. It is heartbreaking. You want to just grab them and give them a big hug and tell them they will succeed in whatever it is they want to do. Mixed race kids try so hard to fit in, but they are frequently (definitely not always.) pushed to the side by race du jour. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/173 "2014-05-12T21:37:53Z")
You don’t have to be mixed race to face isolation like that I can attest personally. The point is not to avoid “being X” to avoid antiX bigotry. The point is to get rid of the bigotry. In this country we are nearing a tipping point at which being mixed race will be pretty much routine. Heck, we have a mixed race president. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/174 "2014-05-12T21:44:56Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > The point is not to avoid “being X” to avoid antiX bigotry. The point is to get rid of the bigotry. I wonder how many of the people who advocate not doing something to avoid bigots would appreciate being told “Don’t be white” or “Don’t be straight” or “Don’t be Christian.” ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/175 "2014-05-12T21:49:04Z")
Excellent question. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/176 "2014-05-12T21:49:17Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I wonder how many of the people who advocate not doing something to avoid bigots would appreciate being told “Don’t be white” or “Don’t be straight” or “Don’t be Christian.” ``` I have this same thought every time I come here. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/177 "2014-05-12T21:58:30Z")
> [@Maeganspop](#): > > I don’t know if this has been covered. I admit I was lazy and read only the first page. > > I have some experience with seeing the effects of interracial relationships. My wife works for a Boy’s and Girl’s Club. I have nothing against people who truly love each other being together. Everyone should be as happy as they can be. But, do you think of what might happen from your relationship? I admit I live in the rural south, but I would imagine this happens elsewhere as well. > > A mixed race child has some tremendous challenges to overcome. In my experience, they are not truly White, Black, Hispanic, Asian (I admit here I have not seen that. Asian I mean. Just a guess.). They are sometimes ostracized by one race or another. They express their feelings that that don’t belong. It is heartbreaking. You want to just grab them and give them a big hug and tell them they will succeed in whatever it is they want to do. Mixed race kids try so hard to fit in, but they are frequently (definitely not always.) pushed to the side by race du jour. I have some experience as well. I have two mixed raced children. They are now young adults, and have never been “ostracized” or felt like they don’t belong (any more than any other teeanager). ---
**Author:** ![Maeganspop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Maeganspop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeganspop)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/178 "2014-05-12T22:05:05Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I have some experience as well. I have two mixed raced children. They are now young adults, and have never been “ostracized” or felt like they don’t belong (any more than any other teeanager). Did you catch the “definitely not always part”? I know it was in parentheses, but it was there. I’m not from the Pacific Northwest, but do you interact with about 130 children a day to see how they treat each other? It is eye opening. Please if you have a chance, volunteer with your closest Boys and Girls Club. Most really need volunteers. Yes! I did just pitch The Boys and Girls Club! ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/179 "2014-05-12T22:07:06Z")
Children will always find a way to treat each other cruelly. Are you seriously suggesting that this should be taken into account by mixed race couples? ---
**Author:** ![nevadaexile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb8c5e/32.png) [@nevadaexile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevadaexile)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/180 "2014-05-12T22:27:48Z")
> [@Maeganspop](#): > > I don’t know if this has been covered. I admit I was lazy and read only the first page. > > I have some experience with seeing the effects of interracial relationships. My wife works for a Boy’s and Girl’s Club. I have nothing against people who truly love each other being together. Everyone should be as happy as they can be. But, do you think of what might happen from your relationship? I admit I live in the rural south, but I would imagine this happens elsewhere as well. > > A mixed race child has some tremendous challenges to overcome. In my experience, they are not truly White, Black, Hispanic, Asian (I admit here I have not seen that. Asian I mean. Just a guess.). They are sometimes ostracized by one race or another. They express their feelings that that don’t belong. It is heartbreaking. You want to just grab them and give them a big hug and tell them they will succeed in whatever it is they want to do. Mixed race kids try so hard to fit in, but they are frequently (definitely not always.) pushed to the side by race du jour. You do realize that this is probably more your perception of the events rather than fact, correct? It’s usually best to try to view situation from outside of your own biases to see them clearly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743.md?page=10)