# If aliens landed tomorrow... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 3, 2006, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010 "2006-07-03T03:13:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/1 "2006-07-03T03:13:57Z")
…where would you like them to land? First impressions are everything! ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/2 "2006-07-03T03:25:36Z")
Whoops, this should’ve been in IMHO. Sorry, mods. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/3 "2006-07-03T03:30:11Z")
Can I say on top of Dick Cheney? 😉 Otherwise I would go for the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. Just a very convenient location with our best facilities to assist them if required. JPL, Berkley, Princeton or MIT would work for me as other locations. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/4 "2006-07-03T03:30:44Z")
Depends…are they nice aliens like Counselor Troi, or mean nasty ones like the Shadows? Troi is most welcome at my home. The Shadows are cordially invited to land at: The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW Washington, DC 20500 ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/5 "2006-07-03T03:39:26Z")
Baghdad would be interesting. Perhaps in the [square where they used to have that statue of Saddam.](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/photo_gallery/2933629.stm) Ambassador Khalilzad could explain to them that they’re parked in a red zone, and that they should move their ship and park in the Green Zone. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/6 "2006-07-03T04:15:34Z")
I would wave them off; tell them to get out while they can. Humans cannot be trusted. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/7 "2006-07-03T04:33:37Z")
> [@Nic2004](#): > > I would wave them off; tell them to get out while they can. Humans cannot be trusted. As the joke goes I´d give them a history book and ask them to go up again and decide wheter to come back only after reading it. My choice would be somewhere over Antartica, if for no other reason as to prevent the crowds of wackos that event would attract. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/8 "2006-07-03T04:50:20Z")
Well I for one would welcome our new alien overlords. someone had to say it ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/9 "2006-07-03T13:14:15Z")
> [@Ale](#): > > somewhere over Antartica, if for no other reason as to prevent the crowds of wackos that event would attract. Don’t the whackos believe in a secret alien base at the other pole? Seems like that would encourage them. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/10 "2006-07-03T13:18:06Z")
Well, they could land on my place so I wouldnt have to clean it up… then I would be invited in to the spaceship, and I would take the aliens for a “around the world in 80 dishes”, and we would start in Portugal to enjoy some of the local bacalao and slouch back after dinner with some sweet madeira wine with a fruity dessert. Mhhhhhh, I cant wait for the aliens to land… Im quite sure the way to the alien heart is also through the stomach 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/11 "2006-07-03T16:13:50Z")
> [@Kotick](#): > > … Im quite sure the way to the alien heart is also through the stomach 🙂 Use buckshot, and it’s a moot point 😃 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/12 "2006-07-03T16:28:24Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Use buckshot, and it’s a moot point 😃 [Yeah, right.](http://www.jeffbots.com/gort.jpg) :rolleyes: Gort and his sidekick landed in Washington on the ellipse, but with their harping about international cooperation, I’m surprised they didn’t land at the UN. Maybe the parking lot wasn’t big enough. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/13 "2006-07-03T16:54:46Z")
Maybe this question deserves a thread of its own, but let’s go with it here. Aliens land in your backyard. They tell you they don’t want everyone knowing they’re here. They just want to talk to you and discover what humans are all about. What would you tell them? How would you explain to them the enormous contradictions which can exist in one single human, let alone four billion of them? How could you explain how we’re capable of the highest nobility and also the most savage evils? Assuming they don’t have the same sort of emotions as we do, how could you explain love? Jealousy? How do you explain that this emotion can lead some to do horrible things in its name? How would you explain religion, especially if they were a very logical creature? How would you then explain _competing_ religions and the evils done for it? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/14 "2006-07-03T17:03:41Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > Aliens land in your backyard. They tell you they don’t want everyone knowing they’re here. They just want to talk to you and discover what humans are all about. What would you tell them? I’d be happy if we could get past base 10 and the Pythagorean theorem. For the rest of the stuff, I’d give them my Star Trek TOS DVDs. Well, loan 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/15 "2006-07-03T17:08:59Z")
Thay already landed at Devil’s Tower. Where have you been? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/16 "2006-07-03T18:25:57Z")
We tend to land at small specialty stores in towns with no interstate access. It’s quiet, peaceful, no one ever comes in (except that one old guy who never buys anything), so we pretty have the places all to ourselves. We use these as staging points for our infiltratioon. (You can see us with these special Groucho glasses! Here, have a pair.) Our competition, tho, tends to be a bit more showy. They land in Super Walmart parking lots and turn on thier Krispy Kreme Kamaflage Kontraption. They then use these false donut shop store fronts to sully yall’s essences. (You can see them with these special Groucho glasses! Here, have a pair.) ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/17 "2006-07-03T18:38:08Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Gort and his sidekick landed in Washington on the ellipse, but with their harping about international cooperation, I’m surprised they didn’t land at the UN. Maybe the parking lot wasn’t big enough. Probably because the United Nations site was under massive construction during the period that movie was filmed. It was released in 1951 and UN site construction began only in late 1949. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/18 "2006-07-03T19:03:33Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > We tend to land at small specialty stores in towns with no interstate access. Subversive b\_\_\_\_\_rds, aren’t you? What’s this tinfoil thing? Did it come with the glasses? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/19 "2006-07-03T19:04:56Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > Probably because the United Nations site was under massive construction Thank you, Oh Uncle Of Beers. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010/20 "2006-07-03T20:03:15Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > How could you explain… > could you explain …love? Jealousy? > How do you explain …that this emotion can lead some to do horrible things? > How would you explain… religion gee, that’s a lotta explaining to do! I hate to ruin a fun thread with a serious reply, but there is a way to answer your questions. And you don’t even need to find aliens in a spaceship. Just head over to your local shelter for autistic people. We can’t bridge the gap with them–and they certainly have more in common with us than aliens from other star systems. That’s why I don’t read much science fiction. If contact ever happens, it will be totally incomprehesible to both sides. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-aliens-landed-tomorrow/363010.md?page=2)