# If All the Old Proverbs Came True . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 13, 2006, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252 "2006-11-13T16:09:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/1 "2006-11-13T16:09:40Z")
Found this on [Fark](http://www.sptimes.com/2006/11/12/Floridian/Why_it_s_best_to_let_.shtml). It’s an article which talks about some of the “old sayings” and what would actually happen if they came true. For example, if every cloud had a silver lining, we’d all be poisoned by the contamination in the rain, and if a watched pot never boiled, our electric plants which use steam would be completely useless. Got me to thinking, it did. What if an apple a day really did keep the doctor away? The medical industry would collapse, resulting in economic chaos. What if every dog did have his day? Mine would probably eat everything in the refrigerator, kill the neighbor’s cats and bite the postal carrier. If people did have “hearts of gold”, they’d die in moments and their bodies would be plundered. We’d have to bring back “grave bombs” to keep people from being exhumed. What if the cat really got your tongue, and what if it really rained cats and dogs? What ones can you think of which would cause disastrous results if they were literally true? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/2 "2006-11-13T16:16:28Z")
Having people in your heart would probably not be very conductive to a long life. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/3 "2006-11-13T16:25:31Z")
There’d be a lot of women in need of traction. A barrel of monkeys is not only not fun, it’s actually kind of horrifying. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/4 "2006-11-13T20:27:11Z")
Sowing your wild oats is actually back-breaking work. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/5 "2006-11-13T22:55:12Z")
Walking on air is dangerous. The first guy who got a wild hare up his ass would be an internet legend forever. The dancing couple who were really cutting a rug were sued, and they had to pay for a new rug. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/6 "2006-11-13T23:01:40Z")
Muckles would be taking out anti-trust suits against many mickles. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/7 "2006-11-13T23:10:05Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] The first guy who got a wild hare up his ass would be an internet legend forever. [/QUOTE] You know that’s wild _hair_, right? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/8 "2006-11-13T23:16:59Z")
Boys would be shambling monstrosities composed of slugs, snails and puppy dog tails; girls piles of sugar and spice, and either stuffed into jars or washed away in the next rain. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/9 "2006-11-13T23:35:55Z")
I know one of the physicists who was quoted in that article, Richard Berg. He was in charge of [Physics is Phun](http://www.physics.umd.edu/PhysPhun/) at the University of Maryland. I have many, many happy memories of volunteering for Physics is Phun… ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/10 "2006-11-13T23:47:52Z")
I once read a short story by Roald Dahl (I think) about a girl who had a bunch of aunts who were fairies or witches or something. Everything they said on her birthday cards came literally true. The year that they wished her pink skies every morning, it rained every day for a year. Another year, they wished that she would make a new friend every day, so by the end of the year, she had 365 very overbearing friends who wouldn’t give her a moment’s peace. Then, for her 20th birthday, they wished that her way would be “strewn with flowers”. This resulted in flowers springing up wherever she went, pavement and buildings notwithstanding, so she had to work from home, sneezing constantly from all the pollen. It ended with her 21st, thank heavens, but the final wish was that she would get “everything you’ve ever wanted,” so then she had to unload every item she’d ever even thought of having, and fend off all her schoolgirl crushes who showed up on her doorstep suddenly infatuated. But there was also an “every future wish be granted” clause, so I daresay she had to be very prudent from then on. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2006, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/11 "2006-11-13T23:52:16Z")
If I truly did unto some others as I’d have them do unto me, I’d be arrested for indecent exposure at the very least… ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2006, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/12 "2006-11-14T04:15:32Z")
Well, under your scenario: 1. Many hands would make light work AND too many cooks would spoil the broth 2. Haste would make waste AND whoever hesitated would be lost. 3. Silence would be golden AND the squeaky wheel would get the grease. 4. Idle hands would be the devil’s playthings AND all work and no play would make Jack a dull boy. Clearly, the paradoxical contradictions would bring about the end of our universe. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2006, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/13 "2006-11-14T04:30:48Z")
If the opera really weren’t over 'til the fat lady sang, then Britten’s _Billy Budd_ would be really long. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2006, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-all-the-old-proverbs-came-true/380252/14 "2006-11-14T17:46:46Z")
There would suddenly be a drastic increase of severed puppy dog tails. snails and snips, but there would also be a never ending supply of all sorts of nice things including a never ending supply of a variety of spices and sugar. Why you ask? Because “Snips and snails and puppy dog tails: That’s what little boys are made of. Sugar and spice and everything nice: That’s what little girls are made of.” Of course, there would be no youth population and the human race would eventually die out, but hey, we would have a lifetime of spices, sugar and escargot left for us.