# If any of the judges on American Idol quit, who would you replace them with? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 23, 2008, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578 "2008-04-23T18:59:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/1 "2008-04-23T18:59:26Z")
And if the show runs long enough it’ll happen. The replacement needs to have some music expertise, stage presence, and (while obviously not completely required) coherence and valid critiquing. Some nominees for a seat I would suggest (not for any particular judge, but feel free to be specific): Jon Bon Jovi- seemed pretty good when he was giving advice Gene Simmons- very intelligent guy who should certainly know a bit about surviving in the music business Cher- if she’s at all interested I think she’d be a great replacement for any one of the 3 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/2 "2008-04-23T19:03:43Z")
Frankly, after last night I’d recommend Andrew Lloyd Webber. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/3 "2008-04-23T19:20:01Z")
A suicide bomber. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/4 "2008-04-23T19:20:17Z")
Yeah but he’d never do it, sadly. ALW was awesome. What I LOVED about him was that he managed to do all of these simultaneously: give good, relevant, and helpful advice be positive toward everyone not insult anyone yet still express skepticism about the ability of certain people to “pull it off” Seems like most don’t have the balls to say anything other than “oh I was blown away, they’ll be amazing!” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/5 "2008-04-23T19:22:31Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] A suicide bomber. [/QUOTE] Give Paula another year or so. Though I doubt the explosives will work. ETA: Agreed, ALW was fantastic. I always assumed he’d be an arrogant prick (he’s a British Lord and a composer and a billionaire after all) but he seemed a genuinely nice guy and gave very polite and supportive advice while not being afraid to say “No!” and “what the hell are you thinking?”. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/6 "2008-04-23T19:31:06Z")
I want Ozzy to be a judge. That would be fun and then I might watch the show again. Seacrest: Ozzy what do you think? Ozzy: W.w.w.w.w.well I I I I I I I I thought th th that…b b b b but I I I I I think sh sh she… _5 minutes later_ Seacrest: Well we have to take a commercial break and we’ll get Ozzy’s comments when we come back. Seriously though I think Gene Simmons would be a great judge for the same reasons **Sampiro** said. Johnny Rotten would be a good judge. I think he would be like Simon and be real honest with out trying to sugar-coat his statemants like Paula does. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/7 "2008-04-23T19:34:15Z")
Mickey Rooney. That way the show would be fun to watch. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/8 "2008-04-23T19:37:18Z")
I think Ozzy would be great, especially after screwing up so bad on Survivor. Oh, wait… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/9 "2008-04-23T20:11:08Z")
[QUOTE=Tahssa] I want Ozzy to be a judge. That would be fun and then I might watch the show again. Seacrest: Ozzy what do you think? Ozzy: W.w.w.w.w.well I I I I I I I I thought th th that…b b b b but I I I I I think sh sh she… _5 minutes later_ Seacrest: Well we have to take a commercial break and we’ll get Ozzy’s comments when we come back. [/QUOTE] In a funny coincidence, in her “I hate that 8sshole Ryan Seacrest and here’s why” spiel ([YouTube link- strong language](http://youtube.com/watch?v=HR3YVMdhnjI)) Kathy Griffin tells about Seacrest being p.o.d at Ozzy snubbing him backstage at the infamous awards show they co-presented at. Other great anti-Idol judges: William O. Donohue Andy Griffith Ann Coulter Jamie Lynn Spears ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/10 "2008-04-23T20:23:54Z")
Well in that vein, how about James Carville. [strong Cajun accent] I gotta say, 'at juss stunk up da whole damn rhume. Da noise dat come oudjo mouf sounded like a stepped on cat. I wooten buy a record from you if da Pope hiz self commanded it. God almighty, you cain’t sang. [/strong Cajun accent] ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/11 "2008-04-23T20:28:38Z")
And if we have to replace two judges, Ozzy and Keith Richards! ---
**Author:** ![Sanity\_Challenged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Sanity\_Challenged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanity_Challenged)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/12 "2008-04-23T20:39:49Z")
John Madden. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/13 "2008-04-23T20:40:59Z")
Hasselhoff would actually be pretty good despite the cultural baggage he carries. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/14 "2008-04-23T20:45:27Z")
[QUOTE=Sanity Challenged] John Madden. [/QUOTE] Nevermind, I change my answer to this. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/15 "2008-04-23T20:47:04Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] In a funny coincidence, in her “I hate that 8sshole Ryan Seacrest and here’s why” spiel ([YouTube link- strong language](http://youtube.com/watch?v=HR3YVMdhnjI)) Kathy Griffin tells about Seacrest being p.o.d at Ozzy snubbing him backstage at the infamous awards show they co-presented at. [/QUOTE] In that bit, she says that Seacrest ripped open her shirt at the American Music Awards… is that on YouTube somewhere? I want to see if it’s true ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/16 "2008-04-23T20:55:09Z")
Randy Jackson -\> Tim Reid Paula Abdul -\> Jan Smithers Simon Cowell -\> Frank Bonner ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/17 "2008-04-23T21:04:52Z")
I don’t know who any of those three people are. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/18 "2008-04-23T21:06:56Z")
Hey! If she’s available for some real testing of her skills: Judge Judy. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/19 "2008-04-23T21:10:12Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] I don’t know who any of those three people are. [/QUOTE] I had to look them up. They all had roles on “WKRP in Cincinnati.” ---
**Author:** ![Stringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Stringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578/20 "2008-04-23T21:12:49Z")
I really liked Barry Manilow when he was on AI a few seasons ago – he’s probably a better coach than judge though. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-any-of-the-judges-on-american-idol-quit-who-would-you-replace-them-with/446578.md?page=2)