# If anyone tells me what to do with my butt... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 17, 2001, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-anyone-tells-me-what-to-do-with-my-butt/82185 "2001-09-17T16:19:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-anyone-tells-me-what-to-do-with-my-butt/82185/41 "2001-09-20T02:23:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by k.os \* > \*\*Hell, I’d be insulted if someone told me to stick something up my cock. \*\* A bout with a kidney stone might change your mind. Hell, you’ll be overjoyed they can go in and get it–regardless of which orifice gets invaded. Trust me. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-anyone-tells-me-what-to-do-with-my-butt/82185/42 "2001-09-20T05:28:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > **But everybody has an ass.** Nitpick. Some poor unfortunates hereabouts seem to have only half of one. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![k.os](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@k.os](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k.os)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-anyone-tells-me-what-to-do-with-my-butt/82185/43 "2001-09-20T05:34:41Z")
**Rysdad** I’ll take your word for it! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-anyone-tells-me-what-to-do-with-my-butt/82185/44 "2001-09-20T15:38:29Z")
> [@](#): > > A bout with a kidney stone might change your mind. Hell, you’ll be overjoyed they can go in and get it–regardless of which orifice gets invaded. Trust me. Phfft. Wimp. About 7 weeks ago, I had both a kidney stone and severe constipation. Severe enough to send me to the ER. Now that’s pain. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, except maybe certain international terrorists. ---
**Author:** ![Tr8rJake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@Tr8rJake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tr8rJake)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-anyone-tells-me-what-to-do-with-my-butt/82185/45 "2001-09-21T06:17:14Z")
Surgeon: [Teeing off on the first hole]You keeping score? Proctologist: Sure. [Pulling a themometer out of his pocket]DAMMIT! Surgeon: What? Proctologist: Some asshole has my pen! ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-anyone-tells-me-what-to-do-with-my-butt/82185/46 "2001-09-21T19:48:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*Abe Babe \*\* > I remember in the “Welcome Back Kotter” days, it was pretty popular to say “Up your nose with a rubber hose.” > > It wouldn’t have had the same effect to hear Vinnie Barberino saying, > “Shove it up your ass, Kotter, you goat felching fucknugget.” > > Ooooooh! Ooooooooh! Mister Kot-TEAR!! \ Yeah, this one was what got me busted fo not working. [obscure comedic reference] That was “fuck your sister” funny. [/ocr] ---
**Author:** ![Kritter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a587f6/32.png) [@Kritter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kritter)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-anyone-tells-me-what-to-do-with-my-butt/82185/47 "2001-09-22T05:50:49Z")
Kidney stones, constipation, sheesh you pussys. Try having a vasectomy with no anesthesia. now that is true pain. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-anyone-tells-me-what-to-do-with-my-butt/82185.md?page=2)