# "If apples and oranges were razor blades, you could shave with a fruit salad"

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-apples-and-oranges-were-razor-blades-you-could-shave-with-a-fruit-salad/1007366>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 16, 2024, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-apples-and-oranges-were-razor-blades-you-could-shave-with-a-fruit-salad/1007366 "2024-09-16T20:36:46Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![CaveMike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cavemike/32/16379_2.png) [@CaveMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaveMike)\
**Post date:** [September 18, 2024, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-apples-and-oranges-were-razor-blades-you-could-shave-with-a-fruit-salad/1007366/21 "2024-09-18T00:35:19Z")

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> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#):
>
> “If ifs and buts were candy and nuts then we’d all have a merry Christmas”

I’ve always heard:  
“If _ifs_ and _buts_ were candy and nuts then every day would be Christmas”

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**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\
**Post date:** [September 18, 2024, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-apples-and-oranges-were-razor-blades-you-could-shave-with-a-fruit-salad/1007366/22 "2024-09-18T01:05:49Z")

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“If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, then - how does the rest of that go?”  
– Homer Simpson

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