# If Bill Hicks was still alive... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 23, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275 "2005-01-23T18:39:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/1 "2005-01-23T18:39:24Z")
So, I’ve been watching _Totally Bill Hicks_, a DVD of a documentary about hime and his last ever British performance, and I turn to **Crusoe** and say: “You know, it’s almost a blessing he died. If he were alive now, in the current political and social climate, he’d be permanently apoplectic with rage.” To which Crusoe replies: “Yeah. Or he’d have become resigned.” Now, I just can’t imagine that blazing fury with the world and all it’s injustices ever petering out to the state of “Meh. It sucks, but what can you do?” that comes to most of us. But am I wrong? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/2 "2005-01-23T18:56:50Z")
It’s probably for the best that we’ll never know. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/3 "2005-01-23T19:12:24Z")
That or he’d be doing a TV show about firemen. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/4 "2005-01-23T19:14:44Z")
God, I miss him! I saw him live in a tiny comedy club in Huntsville, AL, of all places, in about 1987. He struck me as intense. That’s probably an understatement. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/5 "2005-01-23T20:28:05Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > That or he’d be doing a TV show about firemen. _snort_ I think Bill would probably have gotten the Dixie Chicks treatment eventually, assuming that he didn’t change after 9/11 like so many other comedians. ---
**Author:** ![bookbuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9bd4f/32.png) [@bookbuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bookbuster)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/6 "2005-01-24T00:38:04Z")
> [@An Arky](#): > > God, I miss him! I saw him live in a tiny comedy club in Huntsville, AL, of all places, in about 1987. He struck me as intense. That’s probably an understatement. You are lucky! For how talented this man was, it seems very few people actually saw him live. I just mean this as, I have never met anyone that has seen him live. Then again, I’m from Minnesota, and I beleive he played in the south more than anywhere. I’m glad that there is a lot on video! ---
**Author:** ![Raygun99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/7 "2005-01-24T00:58:32Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > That or he’d be doing a TV show about firemen. …who hunt and kill Billy Ray Cyrus? ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/8 "2005-01-24T04:13:47Z")
It would have been funny yet disturbing if he had done his 1991 HBO sketch on Iraq word for word the same 12 years later. I think about 95% of that stuff would have been still relevant. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/9 "2005-01-24T04:18:57Z")
I saw Bill Hicks twice. Not deliberately, he just happened to be performning at Austin’s Laff Stop on two nights I was there. All in all… a so-so comic. Not as funny and not NEARLY as smart or insightful as he thought he was. As long as he was telling dick jokes, he was mildly amusing. But when he went on his patented political/religious rants, he was a pompous bore. If he were alive today (unlikely- if it hadn’t been cancer from his chain smoking, he’d have killed himself some other way, like his pal Kinison), he’d be a third-tier comic, still playing cheap dives in front of apathetic audiences, all the while boasting “I’m HUGE in England.” ---
**Author:** ![AmbushBug](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ambushbug/32/4600_2.png) [@AmbushBug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmbushBug)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/10 "2005-01-24T04:37:30Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > if it hadn’t been cancer from his chain smoking, he’d have killed himself some other way, like his pal Kinison While it seems that smoking can increase the rate of hereditary pancreatic cancer, his bio notes that he’d stopped smoking, booze, and drugs before being diagnosed with cancer. Way to kill yourself. And Kinison killed himself by arranging to have his car struck head-on by a drunk driver who’d crossed the median? Oh. He made fun of anti-drunk-driving campaigns, so that’s it? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/11 "2005-01-24T04:44:55Z")
I found him to be really annoying. He seemed very angry and arrogant in the standup I saw. And his comedy was not my kind of humour at all. I seem to be alone in this, as he is often cited as being very funny and incisive. ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/12 "2005-01-24T04:53:11Z")
All I’ve heard is one CD but I wasn’t 100% nuts about him. I felt like I should be, but I just didn’t find him that funny. Maybe it’s the timing. One thing that made me laugh was that he was talking about Debbie Gibson and me being the idiot I am I was totally thinking of Britney Spears and then I suddenly thought, “jeesus how old is Britney Spears now how can she be older than me?” She always made me think of Debbie Gibson to the point where I remember Debbie Gibson as being Britney Spears wearing a big 80s hat. Same diff. Same goes for the Backstreet Boys and the New Kids on the Block. I always loved comedy, especially in the late 80s and early 90s so I don’t understand how I missed Bill Hicks. I guess partly it’s because back then there was no internet to make every single passing interest available to me. Maybe I would have found him incisive in 1987? Somehow I can’t picture it though. I am just underwhelmed by him. Maybe I need to hear more. ---
**Author:** ![bookbuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9bd4f/32.png) [@bookbuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bookbuster)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/13 "2005-01-24T05:33:40Z")
well, he is not jokey its basically just a man on stage articulating his views about the world, and it comes out hilarious… But it is possible you have to agree with his positions to appreciate it. the major ones: agaisnt war on drugs digusted with commercial culture wary of American military the timing comment suprised me, I thought I had never seen a comic with such good timing. it’s funny that being huge in Europe after trying your god-damned hardest your whole life in the USA still makes you a hack. I am just glad he had a group of people that appreciated and understood him during his career. I think Jeff Foxworthy is one of the biggest comics here in America. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/14 "2005-01-24T06:54:25Z")
I can’t see him resigned. My favorite Hicks bit was when he compared America to Jack Palance in _Shane_: “Pick it up.” ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/15 "2005-01-24T13:36:02Z")
> [@bookbuster](#): > > the timing comment suprised me, I thought I had never seen a comic with such good timing. it’s funny that being huge in Europe after trying your god-damned hardest your whole life in the USA still makes you a hack. I am just glad he had a group of people that appreciated and understood him during his career. I think Jeff Foxworthy is one of the biggest comics here in America. Look, if he WAS “huge in England,” bully for him. But here in Austin, we have dozens (maybe hundreds) of HORRIBLE rock bands that have never sold a record in the U.S. These guys would be homeless if they’re girlfriends ever wised up and dumped them. But every one of them will tell you, with just a hint of superiority, “We’re GODS in Norway (or Belgium or wherever).” Maybe so, but they still suck, and they’re still hacks. Not unlike Bill Hicks. Who WAS very good at telling dick jokes. Not as good as Robert Schimmel, but a lot better than Andrew Dice Clay. That probably isn’t the legacy he was hoping for, but that’s what he’s got. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/16 "2005-01-24T14:51:09Z")
He wouldn’t be quite as dead. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/17 "2005-01-24T14:54:27Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > I can’t see him resigned. > > My favorite Hicks bit was when he compared America to Jack Palance in _Shane_: > > “Pick it up.” You all saw it. HE HAD A GUN. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/18 "2005-01-24T16:34:00Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Maybe so, but they still suck, and they’re still hacks. Not unlike Bill Hicks. Only none of your garage bands did multiple HBO specials along with eleven performances on Letterman. Also I doubt any of them will be interesting enough to spawn multiple documentaries a decade after they stop performing. > [@](#): > > Who WAS very good at telling dick jokes. Not as good as Robert Schimmel, but a lot better than Andrew Dice Clay. > That probably isn’t the legacy he was hoping for, but that’s what he’s got. Sure, but only if you define “legacy” as “what astorian personally thinks of him.” ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/19 "2005-01-24T18:01:34Z")
Thos with _political_ objections to Bill Hicks need to 'fess up. (Or maybe even admit it to themselves. **astorian** , you seem strangely vehement in your dislike of Hicks.) His comedy was brilliant. I was lucky enough to catch him one night at the old Funny Bone in Atlanta. And were he alive today, he could do the same routines about America and Iraq, and they’d still be relevant. And funny as hell. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275/20 "2005-01-24T18:30:48Z")
If you’re a hardline conservative, you won’t like Hicks: he lived to skewer the ‘establishment’. But it wasn’t _always_ conservatives he pissed off: e.g., listen to his rants on non-smokers. Feminists couldn’t have been too crazy about him either (I loved his joke complaining to a female hotel clerk about the edited porn movies: "Can I think of anything that would have improved my stay? Yeah – _cumshots!"_). And his suspicions of government and corporations joining hands to run our lives crossed ideological lines. A slightly different question: what would Bill Hicks have had to say about eight years under Clinton? Conservatives might have found more to like about him if some of his material tore Clinton up. He died not long after Clinton was elected, so we’ll never know – what little material he did have on Clinton was not unanimously favorable. Speaking of Alabama, one of my favorite jokes is where tells of a group of guys waiting for him after the show outside an Alabama nightclub. “Hey”, one of them says. “My friends and I are Christians, and we didn’t _like_ that joke you told!” “So you’re Christians, huh?”, Hicks replies. "OK then… _forgive me."_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-bill-hicks-was-still-alive/286275.md?page=2)