# If Chemicals Were People **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [March 3, 2017, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278 "2017-03-03T11:46:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/1 "2017-03-03T11:46:34Z")
One sentence soundbites that you might expect chemicals (elements, compounds or mixtures) to blurt out if they were people. I’ll Start: Platinum: “I’m not reacting! You are!” (Platinum is one of the least reactive metals, but is an excellent catalyst) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/2 "2017-03-03T12:25:43Z")
Iron: I HATE that nickname “RUSTY”!!! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/3 "2017-03-03T12:39:49Z")
Uranium, the disk jockey: “This Radio is Active!” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/4 "2017-03-03T12:51:24Z")
Lead: I’m plumb tuckered out! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/5 "2017-03-03T12:55:38Z")
Helium: “What do you mean, I talk like a baby?” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/6 "2017-03-03T13:13:50Z")
Sodium: “My blood pressure’s a little high.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/7 "2017-03-03T13:16:43Z")
Copper: “Do you know why I pulled you over?” ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/8 "2017-03-03T13:30:07Z")
Hydrogen sulfide: “Quit calling me Stinky!” ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/9 "2017-03-03T13:39:27Z")
I guess Quartz would have to be a milkman. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/10 "2017-03-03T13:43:38Z")
Carbon: “How about letting me date you?” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/11 "2017-03-03T14:09:01Z")
Neon: “Look at me! Look at Me! Look at ME!!!” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/12 "2017-03-03T16:30:39Z")
Arsenic: “Don’t blame me, it was the old lace that did him in!” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/13 "2017-03-03T17:40:20Z")
Anti-matter: “If I ever get out of here, I’ll destroy you all!” ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e47774/32.png) [@quiltguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/14 "2017-03-03T21:11:50Z")
Mercury. “Are you saying I have a god complex???” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/15 "2017-03-03T21:14:45Z")
Krypton: “Hey, if it weren’t for me, there wouldn’t be any Superman!” ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/16 "2017-03-04T01:30:10Z")
NaCl: “I like it when people call me the salt of the Earth.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/17 "2017-03-04T01:45:16Z")
Chlorine: “They wouldn’t need me if you’d stop peeing in the pool.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/18 "2017-03-04T02:25:21Z")
Aluminum: “Curses! Foiled again!” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/19 "2017-03-04T03:29:11Z")
Lead: “I ain’t heavy, I’m your plumber.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/20 "2017-03-04T03:33:05Z")
Oganesson: “Just give me a second, will ya?” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278.md?page=2)