# If Chemicals Were People **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [March 3, 2017, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278 "2017-03-03T11:46:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/21 "2017-03-04T03:53:23Z")
Bleach: I am not racist because I only hang out with the whites. Everyone else runs away from me. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/22 "2017-03-04T05:47:13Z")
Neon: “Sometimes when I get turned on, I start flashing people.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/23 "2017-03-04T15:39:43Z")
Plutonium: “Woof!” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/24 "2017-03-04T15:45:48Z")
Tin: “I think I got canned.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/25 "2017-03-04T17:10:29Z")
Oxygen: Look at the money I O2 all those people. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/26 "2017-03-04T17:16:47Z")
Barium: the undertaker of the periodic table ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/27 "2017-03-04T17:20:26Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Oxygen: Look at the money I O2 all those people. This calls for periodic punishment. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/28 "2017-03-04T17:40:10Z")
Iodine only at fashionable restaurants. ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Call_Me.Tim)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/29 "2017-03-04T18:28:29Z")
Neo(dymium) - I know kung fu. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/30 "2017-03-04T18:31:23Z")
> [@Some\_Call\_Me.Tim](#): > > Neo(dymium) - I know kung fu. And other elements are strongly attracted to him. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/31 "2017-03-04T18:50:39Z")
Mind your own bismuth! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/32 "2017-03-04T21:40:50Z")
Hydrogen: Alright! I’m going to see Zeppelin! Where’s my lighter? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/33 "2017-03-04T21:56:18Z")
[Chlorine Trifluride](http://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/archives/2008/02/26/sand_wont_save_you_this_time): "MWHAHAHAHA! BURN! BURN! BURN! _BURRRRNNN!!!"_ ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/34 "2017-03-04T22:02:09Z")
Gold (calling to a friend): A! U! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/35 "2017-03-04T22:11:29Z")
Erbium, Terbium, Yttrium and Ytterbium walk into a bar… ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/36 "2017-03-04T22:18:43Z")
Aw, man! Zeppelin can’t play Wrigley Field coz the upper tier collapsed–Darmstadtium! Guess they’ll have to play the Palladium, instead. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/37 "2017-03-04T22:25:05Z")
Promethium: I _almost_ gave fire to mankind. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/38 "2017-03-04T22:46:40Z")
Germanium: What should I plant in my garden? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/39 "2017-03-04T23:41:20Z")
Tungsten: I like it oral. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/40 "2017-03-04T23:41:25Z")
Nickel: “I miss the old days, when I had a buffalo on my ass.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278.md?page=3)