# If Chemicals Were People **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [March 3, 2017, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278 "2017-03-03T11:46:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2017, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/41 "2017-03-04T23:42:29Z")
Zirconium: “I’m not just square, I’m cubic.” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/42 "2017-03-05T13:38:06Z")
Argon: “The duchess and I will be dining on baked beans this evening.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/43 "2017-03-05T13:42:19Z")
Alkali: “I’m all about the base, the base, the base, no trouble.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/44 "2017-03-05T14:09:16Z")
Silicon: “They named a whole valley after me!” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/45 "2017-03-05T14:31:29Z")
Antimony: after the matrimony turned to alimony, he’s against marriage. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/46 "2017-03-05T14:40:03Z")
Aw, man, I’m all out of heroin, can I borrow some of Europium? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/47 "2017-03-05T14:48:02Z")
Whenever the Rev. W. A. Spooner performed a good deed (which was often, indeed), someone would invariably call him a Good Samarium. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/48 "2017-03-05T14:48:34Z")
Einsteinium: “Okay, maybe God does play dice games.” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/49 "2017-03-05T14:51:23Z")
In, “Rocky XVI: Rocky Becomes a Chemist,” Adrian is played by Thallium Shire. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/50 "2017-03-05T14:52:45Z")
Aw, man, it was a Zeppelin _tribute_ band: Pb Zep! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/51 "2017-03-05T15:49:32Z")
Lysergic acid diethylamide: “Picture yourself on a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/52 "2017-03-05T16:23:48Z")
Lithium: “Hey, I’m feeling really great!” ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/53 "2017-03-05T16:34:32Z")
Hydrogen: “Don’t trust me, I make up nearly everything” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/54 "2017-03-05T16:47:50Z")
Sulfur: “What do you mean, I smell like a wicked witch?” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/55 "2017-03-05T18:01:06Z")
Praseodymium: “Gesundheit.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/56 "2017-03-05T18:05:48Z")
Scandium is dandium but sliquor is quicker. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2017, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/57 "2017-03-05T19:49:41Z")
Gold: “Forget ‘all that glitters’. I’m the real thing.” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/58 "2017-03-06T01:00:44Z")
Killing is my Bismuth, and Bismuth is good. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/59 "2017-03-06T01:49:56Z")
Xenon: “Nobody understands me.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278/60 "2017-03-06T02:21:48Z")
Barium: Anybody need an enema? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-chemicals-were-people/781278.md?page=4)