# If Dopers Wrote Candy Hearts **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2018, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838 "2018-02-14T18:28:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/1 "2018-02-14T18:28:48Z")
Just saw this on HuffPost > **[\#IfMomWroteCandyHearts Is The Sweet And Sassy Valentine's Day Hashtag We Needed](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ifmomwrotecandyhearts-valentines-day-twitter-hashtag_n_5a844132e4b0adbaf3d96903)** > > "Don't eat this candy heart. It has too much sugar and it's almost time for bed." If anything cried out for representation, it’s something like this – but with Dopers What would Dopers put on their Conversation Hearts/ \*\*Cite? Hi Opal! 1920s-style Death Ray Og Loves You \*\* ---
**Author:** ![somepumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@somepumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/somepumpkin)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/2 "2018-02-14T18:38:45Z")
I have an internal, chemical response in your presence. Unless you don’t approve of that. If so, please enjoy this candy heart. Unless you don’t like candy. If so, please accept this as token of kindness, and pass it on to a friend. Unless you don’t want to support corporate holidays. In that case, please trash this and try to have a good day. \<3 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/3 "2018-02-14T18:45:49Z")
[Hearts are really butts](https://www.google.com/search?q=hearts+are+really+butts). ---
**Author:** ![jerseymule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jerseymule/32/3155_2.png) [@jerseymule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jerseymule)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/4 "2018-02-14T18:51:31Z")
It’s perfectly cromulent ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/5 "2018-02-14T18:59:19Z")
My Heart Is My Cite ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/6 "2018-02-14T19:00:37Z")
“IMHO” or “IANAD” and “Troll” or “Sock”(hey they deserve love too) ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/7 "2018-02-14T19:03:48Z")
Please don’t balk At my gift of chalk ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/8 "2018-02-14T19:05:16Z")
Penis ensues Gotcha Ya! Regards, ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/9 "2018-02-14T19:06:04Z")
“I could have made this better and cheaper at home”. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/10 "2018-02-14T19:14:22Z")
Link broken Heart intact ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/11 "2018-02-14T19:14:41Z")
Fucko off ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/12 "2018-02-14T19:16:03Z")
Be my Venereal Wart ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/13 "2018-02-14T19:18:39Z")
MPLIMS The L is for Love! ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/14 "2018-02-14T19:43:15Z")
Reported. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/15 "2018-02-14T19:47:45Z")
“I am nice, dammit” ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/16 "2018-02-14T19:47:53Z")
Is This The Human Emotion You Call Love? ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/17 "2018-02-14T19:52:12Z")
You’re Done I Can Make It Better and Cheaper At Home I’d Declaw My Cat 4U ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/18 "2018-02-14T19:55:07Z")
Rio by Duran Duran ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/19 "2018-02-14T19:56:51Z")
I’m circumcised ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2018, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838/20 "2018-02-14T19:57:57Z")
Be my asshat [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-dopers-wrote-candy-hearts/808838.md?page=2)