# If evolution is true.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 1, 2012, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582 "2012-05-01T23:57:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/1 "2012-05-01T23:57:33Z")
…then how do you explain Juggalos? I dare any of you evolutionists to explain that one. Granted, I really can’t fit them in with the idea of a loving, omnipotent Creator, either. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2012, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/2 "2012-05-02T00:29:48Z")
Fuckin’ Juggalos. How do _they_ work? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2012, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/3 "2012-05-02T00:36:36Z")
There have always been evolutionary dead-ends. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/4 "2012-05-02T00:46:11Z")
Music goes in, tattoos come out, never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that! ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2012, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/5 "2012-05-02T00:53:32Z")
I can’t explain Juggalos, because I don’t know what they are. **looks them up** Aha. I still can’t explain Juggalos. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2012, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/6 "2012-05-02T00:54:16Z")
They have evolved a complex set of digestive enzymes that allow them to digest and absorb the nutrients in Faygo. It is similar to a study in the 80s where they took lactose intolerant E Coli and put them in lactose broth, eventually the bacteria evolved to live on lactose. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2012, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/7 "2012-05-02T01:26:39Z")
The Juggalo hand was perfectly designed to hold a Faygo cola. Checkmate, atheists! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2012, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/8 "2012-05-02T06:52:32Z")
Well, clearly Juggalos are proof of the existence of Satan (says the atheist who can’t explain Juggalos any other way). ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2012, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/9 "2012-05-02T07:12:36Z")
Meh! In 15 years time they will all be washed, wage slaved and propping up suburbia. Rebels without a clue ---
**Author:** ![sevenwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@sevenwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sevenwood)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2012, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/10 "2012-05-02T09:10:33Z")
I’m thinking we should blame quantum mechanics for this and anything else that doesn’t make any sense. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2012, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/11 "2012-05-02T10:39:43Z")
> [@manila](#): > > Meh! In 15 years time they will all be washed, wage slaved and propping up suburbia. > > Rebels without a clue There are still Deadheads, half a century later. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2012, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/12 "2012-05-02T13:10:34Z")
> [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](#): > > I dare any of you evolutionists to explain that one. It’s parallel evolution, sort of like how bees and flowers evolved together in a mutually beneficial way. They need attention, and we need something to point and laugh at. It’s all in Dawkins’ newest book, _Climbing Mount Juggalo_. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2012, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/13 "2012-05-02T14:02:59Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > There are still Deadheads, half a century later. Who are the Grateful Dead and why do they keep following me? ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/14 "2012-05-03T05:09:09Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > There have always been evolutionary dead-ends. But the universe is fine-tuned just for the existence of juggalos! ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/15 "2012-05-03T07:32:08Z")
In the absence of cloning technology capable of creating an epsilon class, Mother Nature has stepped in and done the work for us. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/16 "2012-05-03T08:10:40Z")
That was a brave, new post. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/17 "2012-05-03T18:44:34Z")
Evolution is true? Did you just call my dad a monkey? ---
**Author:** ![SticksAndString](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SticksAndString](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SticksAndString)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/18 "2012-05-03T18:54:32Z")
I fail to see how singing “rap” (is that what it is? Hip hop? I have no clue) about picking up dead bodies off the street and consuming them\* has anything to do with the Grateful Dead. \*this is from what I VAGUELY remember hearing way back in high school when my younger sister was into this stuff. Something about eating dead people and pulling fingernails out of dead bodies and eating them and similarly disgusting stuff that made me wish she’d used her headphones. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/19 "2012-05-03T19:29:19Z")
I do know the FBI considers Juggalos to be a [gang](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/29/fbi-considers-juggalos-a-gang_n_1065110.html) > [@](#): > > The FBI is monitoring a growing gang with members across the country who dress in customary colors, assemble for rowdy annual meetings and control the trade of an obscure Midwestern soft drink. They are Juggalos. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-evolution-is-true/620582/20 "2012-05-03T20:33:15Z")
There’s always a bell curve for a population. If you want a few really top individuals, then there’s a matching set of less useful people.