# If God exists **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 17, 2008, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920 "2008-01-17T19:54:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![If\_God\_Exists](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@If\_God\_Exists](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/If_God_Exists)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/1 "2008-01-17T19:54:58Z")
Why are children born to abusive parents, then suffer a life full of mental illness? Why do cute little kitty cats get run over by cars? How did Hitler, World War 2, and the Holocaust happen? How can Bush get away with the crimes he’s committing? If God really does exist, he should be ashamed of himself. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/2 "2008-01-17T19:58:56Z")
Obviously, God is a bitter and hateful deity. I bet he beats his wife, too. ---
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/3 "2008-01-17T20:00:50Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] Obviously, God is a bitter and hateful deity. I bet he beats his wife, too. [/QUOTE] Don’t you think he would use a subordinate for that kind of daily activity? Like maybe Gabriel or some other sword wielding angel? ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/4 "2008-01-17T20:02:41Z")
[QUOTE=If God Exists] Why do cute little kitty cats get run over by cars? [/QUOTE] Every time a cute little kitty cat gets run over by a car, God masturbates. ---
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/5 "2008-01-17T20:06:06Z")
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee] Every time a cute little kitty cat gets run over by a car, God masturbates. [/QUOTE] I was taught that when it snows, God is masturbating… ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/6 "2008-01-17T20:09:07Z")
[QUOTE=USCDiver] I was taught that when it snows, God is masturbating… [/QUOTE] No. [This](http://www.scsun-news.com/news/ci_7938886) is what happens when God masturbates. ---
**Author:** ![Wheeljack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@Wheeljack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheeljack)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/7 "2008-01-17T20:14:25Z")
If a deity exists which we mere corporeals would recognize as “God” I suppose you are correct… he should be ashamed of himself. That’s one of the pitfalls of ascribing human ethics (or at least your particular ethics) onto a hypothetical omniscience. We expect him to give a rat’s ass about his creation and we’re disappointed that he doesn’t. There are a million directions you can go from there… it’s been a dealbreaker for a lot of people I know. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/8 "2008-01-17T20:16:53Z")
I’m pretty sure this is a drive-by posting, but on the off chance that the OP returns, this thread can now be reached at the luxurious GD Hotel. Please feel free to grab a bathrobe when you check out. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/9 "2008-01-17T20:18:23Z")
Why not? If you’re talking about a Creator, why would you assume He/She/It gave a rat’s ass about His/Her/Its creations after making them? My daughter and I spent the morning making paper dolls. She’s now ripping half of them into confetti, tromping on some and a few have gotten lost under the fridge. Just because you create something doesn’t mean you take care of it. Shit, if “He” really created people in His image, wouldn’t we expect Him to be as petty, stupid, careless and evil as people can be? Your very questions assume a benevolent, omnipotent and, more importantly, interested god. Most people throughout history haven’t believed in any such thing. This Christian nicey-nice God thing is an interesting experiment, but hardly representative of world religions. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/10 "2008-01-17T20:20:40Z")
[QUOTE=Litoris] No. [This](http://www.scsun-news.com/news/ci_7938886) is what happens when God masturbates. [/QUOTE] Ah, I had never taken “The Coming of the Lord” to be a literal phenomenon. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/11 "2008-01-17T20:20:55Z")
Is this guy going to change his username every time he starts a new thread? That could get confusing. And besides, God would be unhappy. Then more “kitty cats” would die. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/12 "2008-01-17T20:23:43Z")
God raped Mary. Period. Do you support rape? ---
**Author:** ![the\_PC\_apeman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac8455/32.png) [@the\_PC\_apeman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_PC_apeman)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/13 "2008-01-17T20:26:07Z")
**If God Exists** , were you born in the 40s? ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/14 "2008-01-17T20:30:45Z")
Nancarrow! Hmm, needs some work. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/15 "2008-01-17T20:38:40Z")
If God Exists… Can He make a babe so hot he can’t pick her up? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/16 "2008-01-17T20:42:40Z")
Hey, I just thought of something. What if God doesn’t exist? Dude, I think I just blew my mind. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/17 "2008-01-17T20:50:46Z")
[QUOTE=Lobohan] God raped Mary. Period. Do you support rape? [/QUOTE] Is it rape if there is no sex? Isn’t the sex kinda the whole thing? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/18 "2008-01-17T20:52:02Z")
Here’s a hint. In the battle between God and the Devil, the Devil won. But I would like to see the Else clause in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/19 "2008-01-17T20:53:41Z")
[QUOTE=Lobohan] God raped Mary. Period. Do you support rape? [/QUOTE] No, no; it’s surrogate motherhood, which is okay unless you’re a Catholic. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2008, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920/20 "2008-01-17T20:56:54Z")
[QUOTE=Lobohan] God raped Mary. Period. ## Do you support rape? [/QUOTE] Buh? [QUOTE= Luke 1:26:31 + 38] In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.” [/QUOTE] Consent, baby. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-exists/433920.md?page=2)