# If god were a human what could the DA charge him with? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 8, 2002, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954 "2002-05-08T19:49:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/61 "2002-05-09T21:43:26Z")
Okay, Tris, what the heck did you guys do? We got a court order for an autopsy, and when we dug up your client’s casket, it was empty. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/62 "2002-05-09T21:46:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*Captain, how long do you bake them, and at what temp? Mange, here’s a [link](http://www.web-tec.com/onions/) so you can learn all about them. \*\* I’ll call my mom or grandma and get the recipe, and get back to you tomorrow, I hope. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/63 "2002-05-09T21:53:17Z")
Ah ha…found the recipe I think my mom uses at the Morris Farms site. > [@](#): > > To bake a Vidalia Onion, peel, then cut off the top and bottom to make it sit flat. Place a pat of butter on top, and microwave for 7 minutes on high, or wrap securely in foil and bake at 350 degrees F for 45 minutes or until tender. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/64 "2002-05-09T22:01:57Z")
I’ll have to try that. I’ve never tried them baked, but Ilike roasted onions; one of the best ways to make good gravy when you roast a chicken is to rest the chicken on a layer of quartered onions in the roasting tin. The onions turn sort of sticky/chewy/crispy, but the juicesmixed with the chicken juices caramelise and make the basis of the most wonderful gravy. ---
**Author:** ![LokiTheDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6f9a4e/32.png) [@LokiTheDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LokiTheDog)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/65 "2002-05-09T22:26:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Triskadecamus \* > \*\* > > At jury selection, I move for dismissal of any juror who does not believe in God, and move for a mistrial, since any jury selected on the basis of religious belief is unlawful in the United States. > > Tris \*\* Wait a minute, you’re going to select jurors by dismissing any who don’t believe in ‘God’, and then ask for a mistrial based on your own actions? How does that work?🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/66 "2002-05-09T23:10:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LokiTheDog \* > \*\* > > Wait a minute, you’re going to select jurors by dismissing any who don’t believe in ‘God’, and then ask for a mistrial based on your own actions? How does that work?🙂 \*\* My Client deserves a jury of His Peers, in the absence of a jury of Gods, it is paramount that the jury at least believe in His existence. That does not alter the fact that such a selection process is specifically illegal. I must do so, and it results in a mistrial. The entire procedure is a violation of the Constitution. I am not really putting these arguments foreward to defend God, from the United States, but rather to defend The United States from the Prosecutor. Tris ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/67 "2002-05-10T00:05:03Z")
Good things you guys have all these legal tricks cause absed on his apparent morality he would be screwed withut a loophole. I know! We can call him a terrorist and have a military tribunal. Those are always fair! DaLovin’ Dj ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/68 "2002-05-10T01:16:42Z")
> [@](#): > > **If god were a human what could the DA charge him with?** Leaving the scene of an accident. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/69 "2002-05-10T02:04:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dalovindj \* > Good things you guys have all these legal tricks cause based on his apparent morality he would be screwed without a loophole. I know! We can call him a terrorist and have a military tribunal. Those are always fair! Yes, I am sure it would be well worth discarding the Constitution, and that pesky First Amendment. With that out of the way, you could pretty much execute everyone who ever pissed you off, as long as you had enough friends to help you. As I said, I feel no need to defend God. I do feel a need to defend the Constitution. Tris ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/70 "2002-05-10T09:39:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dalovindj \* > [ba]sed on his **apparent** morality he would be screwed withut a loophole. Ah, there lies the rub. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/71 "2002-05-10T11:15:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*Mange, here’s a [link](http://www.web-tec.com/onions/) so you can learn all about them. \*\* Thanks for that Lib; I was surprised to see that they are claiming that the unique sweetness is due to the soil of that region, rather than the variety of onion itself - I have seen ‘sweet onion’ seeds sold in regular seed catalogues; apparently in the sweet varieties, the volatile pungent compounds break down after a few weeks’ storage, resulting in an onion that may be eaten like an apple. Do you think they really are different because of the soil, or do you reckon that this is just a clever ploy to make you come back and buy more instead of attempting to grow your own? ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/72 "2002-05-10T11:21:48Z")
Hey guys, with all due possible respect, don’t you think you’ve strained the ol’ onion joke/hijack a little too far now? If you seriously want to know, there are other places it could be discussed. I may even join you to discuss the **kabbess’** famous Three Onion Soup. pan ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/73 "2002-05-10T19:06:09Z")
Well, to be perfectly honest, I would love to have the recipe, Kabbes. Tris ---
**Author:** ![zwaldd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a9adbd/32.png) [@zwaldd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zwaldd)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/74 "2002-05-10T19:38:46Z")
How about accessory to a crime? He knew in advance of every crime ever committed and did nothing to stop them or report them to authorities. And criminal negligence - he created all kinds of virus and bacteria that he KNEW were deadly. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/75 "2002-05-10T19:59:02Z")
I’m just glad that He’s not as preoccupied as you are with fleeting moments and rotten meat. ---
**Author:** ![Gomez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d78d45/32.png) [@Gomez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gomez)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2002, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/76 "2002-05-11T13:21:15Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by dalovindj_ > Good things you guys have all these legal tricks cause absed on his apparent morality he would be screwed withut a loophole. I’m sure the aeons of civilisation and life (including yours) we would also have to attribute to him would go some way towards getting him some clemency. ---
**Author:** ![jjrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jjrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjrt)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/77 "2002-12-28T07:10:03Z")
If the DA put God on trial, don’t you think God wouldn’t bring charges against us for killing his Son? Then who would be the guilty parties? And could you imagine all the lawyers on Gods’ side. Yep, I could see it now, here we are putting God on trail, and he comes along and brings charges against us for the same thing , except of course some non believers would be believing then that He was real and Christ really was his Son. ironic ---
**Author:** ![Harmonix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Harmonix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonix)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/78 "2002-12-28T19:53:34Z")
dang, old thread. **Triskadecamus** Should God become human and prove that he is God, then would his existence become fact and not depend at all on religion? If so doesn’t take make all your loopholes moot? **Lib** This thread is 7 months old and you said yourself that you’ve changed much in the time you’ve been here. But I find it ridiculous that you choose to ridicule **DJ** on his capitolization and not consider his OP at all, even if you believe his OP was formed with ill-intent. ---
**Author:** ![TVAA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TVAA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVAA)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/79 "2002-12-28T20:27:02Z")
[sigh] Let’s face it: the concept of God has no meaningful logical or philosophical substance. It’s null content, people. Even ignoring the massive logical holes in the OP argument, we’ve already defined ‘God’ to be beyond all bounds, restrictions, definitions, and rules. Attempting to include God in any argument is futile at best and downright stupid at worst. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Harmonix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonix)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954/80 "2002-12-28T20:31:59Z")
> [@](#): > > we’ve already defined ‘God’ to be beyond all bounds, restrictions, definitions, and rules **not being sarcastic.** Could you please enlighten me on how this detracts from our ability to _judge_ him assuming he were an actual being? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-god-were-a-human-what-could-the-da-charge-him-with/107954.md?page=5)