# If gradeschool kids teased you about your username, they'd call you... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 20, 2000, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215 "2000-07-20T06:02:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![seriousart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@seriousart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seriousart)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/1 "2000-07-20T06:02:12Z")
Everybody knows kids are cruel. Especially with each others names. What do you think they’d call you now? Feel free to pick on others (only in good fun now kids) I’ll start. seriousart = seriousFart (too easy, huh?) dpr=diaper (no offense, just tryin to get the ball rolling…🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tof](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@The\_Tof](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tof)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/2 "2000-07-20T06:11:29Z")
My username was a gradeschool tease name… (not based on my name… but thats another story… What would be a good taunt of a taunt? Heck, I don’t know… kinda surreal though. Screeme ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/3 "2000-07-20T12:18:24Z")
My middle name is Enright. Growning up I was called (obviously) "Out-Wrong, or (not so obvious) [Dudley] Doright. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/4 "2000-07-20T12:23:44Z")
Mebbie “Wonko The Bonko”? I just don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/5 "2000-07-20T12:25:40Z")
I never got teased about my real name when I was in school and I can’t think of anything for my username either. Feel free to think up something for me though! I don’t mind a little teasing. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/6 "2000-07-20T12:27:17Z")
Back in my days, we were sweet (and also afraid we’d get a swat by Mr. Reker), so no one would dare say it, but I have no doubt that the worldy children of today would be taunting “Cunt-it Sleeza” or something equally ridiculous. Or, for tamer kids, maybe “Punt-it Lisa.” ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/7 "2000-07-20T12:38:23Z")
For me, how about “Cross Dresser” (You figure it out!) Not exactly a play on words, but a tease on my name none the less. Where I grew up, kids picked on me all the time and had some doosies for me. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/8 "2000-07-20T12:43:55Z")
Hey, I’m Satan. Fuck with me and I’ll pluck your eyes out, stick a toothppick through them, garnigh my martini with it and eat it. Hmm… Okay, I guess I’d be called Satin. But that’s lame anyway… 😉 * * * Yer pal, Satan _TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING: Three months, one week, four days, 10 hours, 39 minutes and 40 seconds. 4097 cigarettes not smoked, saving $512.22. Life saved: 2 weeks, 5 hours, 25 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/9 "2000-07-20T12:44:31Z")
I think I’ll let Coldfire handle this one for me. **Mold-for-Hire?** Care to field this one? ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/10 "2000-07-20T12:46:20Z")
If I was a girl, I’m sure it would be “can I eat you?” :D:D But darn it, I’m not a girl. :(☹ ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/11 "2000-07-20T12:48:02Z")
Since grade school kids are great when it comes to alliteration and rhyming, I have to think Masterbator would be involved somehow. ---
**Author:** ![beakerxf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/12 "2000-07-20T12:55:19Z")
Oh there are so many possibilities for mine. Leaker Geeker Freaker Rachelle, I think one possibility for your name is Rachelle Rat Tail. It rhymes…kinda. As long as we’re sharing real life tauntngs, I was called “gaybird” from third grade until starting junior high. ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/13 "2000-07-20T13:00:29Z")
Well, mine would be Chrispy Critter. Hey Swiddles, do you mind if I take poke at your? Ok Swim-in-piddle… heehee ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/14 "2000-07-20T13:16:56Z")
That’s why I picked AWB, so you wouldn’t tease me! 😃 The “B”, of course, stands for my last name: Berkoff. Try living with that name through 12 years of public school. **Funny story** : I was meeting several of my future in-laws the Christmas before I got married. To explain the spelling of my last name to her aunt, my wife said, “It’s like ‘jerkoff’ with a ‘B’.” Later, we were having dinner at this aunt’s house when her husband came home. He came over to the table, and my future aunt-in-law introduced me. “Jim, this is Val’s fiance, Tony Jerkoff.” Needless to say, she turn a zillion shades of red. :D:D ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/15 "2000-07-20T13:40:59Z")
Uhhh… little Bitch??? ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/16 "2000-07-20T13:55:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles \* > \*\*I think I’ll let Coldfire handle this one for me. Mold-for-Hire? Care to field this one? \*\* For you, anytime, **SquickingTriplets** 😃 Mold-for-Hire? Hmmm… personally, I’m still partial to the anagram **Clod Rifle** , which might be considered an insult of some sort. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/17 "2000-07-20T13:58:39Z")
Mine would probably involve a popular ethnic slur dealing with the Hebrew race. ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Propski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@Guy\_Propski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Propski)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/18 "2000-07-20T14:00:19Z")
Gay Poopski, I’m sure. ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/19 "2000-07-20T14:00:26Z")
Um…JimmyNipples? Maybe the meaner kids would call me FlimmyNipples. Bastards. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2000, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215/20 "2000-07-20T14:19:38Z")
If they’ve been to the Rainforest Café, they can tease me with the name of a (very yummy) menu item: RastaPasta 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gradeschool-kids-teased-you-about-your-username-theyd-call-you/26215.md?page=2)