# If grammarians wrote songs . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 8, 2007, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032 "2007-03-08T00:31:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/1 "2007-03-08T00:31:43Z")
Inspired by [pulikamel](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8332666&postcount=15) in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=411258). What would happen if songs had to be grammatically correct? For instance: “I don’t have anybody that I can depend on.” “I can’t get any satisfaction.” “She is.” (from the Pajama Game) “It isn’t necessarily so.” Join in! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/2 "2007-03-08T00:36:47Z")
“There Isn’t Any Mountain High Enough” Tip o’ the hat to Stan Freberg: _Elderly Man River, that Elderly Man River, He must know something, but he doesn’t say anything…_ ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/3 "2007-03-08T00:48:11Z")
“In the desert, you can remember your name because there isn’t anyone who can give you any pain there.” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/4 "2007-03-08T00:54:33Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] _Elderly Man River, that Elderly Man River, He must know something, but he doesn’t say anything…_ [/QUOTE] I think you mean “Senior Citizen River” . . . ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/5 "2007-03-08T01:16:52Z")
“We all need somebody on which to lean.” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/6 "2007-03-08T01:21:40Z")
“Isn’t that a shame?” “I’m not misbehaving.” “I’m not going to whistle Dixie any more.” “The Devil and I Blues” ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/7 "2007-03-08T01:44:29Z")
[QUOTE=Morbo] “We all need somebody on which to lean.” [/QUOTE] I think you mean “on whom.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/8 "2007-03-08T01:45:16Z")
What if God were one of us? ---
**Author:** ![Precambrianmollusc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/precambrianmollusc/32/63_2.png) [@Precambrianmollusc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Precambrianmollusc)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/9 "2007-03-08T02:33:21Z")
I would like to know what love is? I am going to depart this local vicinity in a prompt fashion, and not in a figurative sense. Which I think is what ‘I’m gonna get real gone’ from the Cars sound track, is trying to say. Mrs/ miss/ Ms, could you please decease crying for the following reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/10 "2007-03-08T02:41:31Z")
We don’t need any education! ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/11 "2007-03-08T03:38:59Z")
“And I need to be redeemed [del]to[/del] by the one I sinned against” “[She] says [that] I’m a bad man, [and] she’s locking me out” “As I listened through the cemetery trees \<–\> they said she died easy of a broken heart disease” ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/12 "2007-03-08T03:46:42Z")
Don’t you wish your girlfriend were hot like me? ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/13 "2007-03-08T03:55:04Z")
[QUOTE=Morbo] “We all need somebody on which to lean.” [/QUOTE] … on _whom_ we can lean … 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/14 "2007-03-08T04:23:46Z")
You are nothing if not a hound-dog. ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/15 "2007-03-08T04:25:36Z")
My breasts and buttocks; my breasts and buttocks; my breasts and buttocks; my lovely feminine curves. ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/16 "2007-03-08T04:34:20Z")
She certainly is sweet, isn’t she? (The Beatles) There doesn’t seem to be any sunshine when she is gone. (Bill Withers) It certainly seems to be funky at present. (James Brown) I’m not above imploring you. (The Temptations) ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/17 "2007-03-08T04:53:14Z")
[QUOTE=Astroboy14] We don’t need any education! [/QUOTE] We have decided that we probably do need education, particularly in English. However, we remain unanimous in our opposition to thought control, and we continue to be unhappy with the high level of dark sarcasm in the classroom. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/18 "2007-03-08T04:53:17Z")
Penis ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/19 "2007-03-08T05:08:55Z")
[QUOTE=Princhester] Penis [/QUOTE] Actually, that was one that they got right. ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/20 "2007-03-08T05:25:37Z")
[QUOTE=Snooooopy] We have decided that we probably do need education, particularly in English. However, we remain unanimous in our opposition to thought control, and we continue to be unhappy with the high level of dark sarcasm in the classroom. [/QUOTE] All-in-all, you’re just so many bricks in the wall. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032.md?page=2)