# If grammarians wrote songs . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 8, 2007, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032 "2007-03-08T00:31:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/41 "2007-03-08T20:47:56Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] You think that’s hot, how about “down to whom I could talk”. [/QUOTE] Closer still. Maybe “down on whom I could sit.” ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/42 "2007-03-08T20:53:47Z")
I still have not found that for which I am looking. ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/43 "2007-03-08T21:00:32Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] I like big buttocks and I cannot lie. My fellow black men, you’re sure to agree with me: When a young lady enters the premises with a small waist Yet a large bottom that fills one’s view, One becomes aroused! One wishes to take out one’s penis! Because one knows that the young lady’s trousers are straining At the immensity of her posterior. [/QUOTE] Bravo! Bravo! > [@amarinth](#): > > What if God were one of us? That one always bugged me, since it wouldn’t hurt the song to use correct grammer. [sub]I can’t believe someone beat me to it :([/sub] ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/44 "2007-03-08T21:05:26Z")
[QUOTE=Zeldar] Closer still. Maybe “down on whom I could sit.” [/QUOTE] 'Down on whom I could go"? ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2007, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/45 "2007-03-08T21:06:59Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] 'Down on whom I could go"? [/QUOTE] The grammarian should be satisfied whether the individual involved is or not. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/46 "2007-03-09T00:19:10Z")
What is the lowest bass note that you can reach? Black men are quite aware of the existence of the death penalty. We celebrate Mr. D, the leader of our band, who is known for his rhyming ability. I get very frightened when approached by the police. Although I do present a somewhat gangster-like image, I’ve never even owned a firearm! I am somewhat marginalized because I use my musical success as a vehicle to espouse the teachings of Louis Farrakhan. I really do believe you should take the time to listen to his message. Hopefully I can use my music to influence a social movement to that end. I’ve received quite a lot of positive feedback which encourages me. And I feel we have a great chance of success. ---
**Author:** ![Intelligently\_Designed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intelligently_designed/32/20957_2.png) [@Intelligently\_Designed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intelligently_Designed)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/47 "2007-03-09T03:01:54Z")
Geez, I do not even know if the proper form is _Two out of three is not bad_ or _Two out of three are not bad_… ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/48 "2007-03-09T03:12:56Z")
A subtle one: “I’d like to thank you for letting me be myself again.” ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/49 "2007-03-09T03:39:57Z")
What’s Tom Cat going to sing [while pitching woo](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solid_Serenade)? “Are You or Are You Not My Baby?” It’s got no zazz, man! ---
**Author:** ![some\_white\_dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b487fb/32.png) [@some\_white\_dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/some_white_dude)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/50 "2007-03-09T08:56:38Z")
Talking Heads This is not a party Nor is it a disco I am not fooling around This is not a mudd club Nor is it CBGB I don’t have time for that at the moment ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/51 "2007-03-09T12:03:19Z")
I have my mojo working, but it does not seem to work on you. ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/52 "2007-03-09T14:34:41Z")
I do not have any grass I do not have any acid I do not have any clothes I do not have a pad I do not have any apples I do not have a knife I do not have any guns I do not have any garbage I do not have a draft card That don’t have the same rhythm, do it? ---
**Author:** ![Common\_Tater](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/common_tater/32/13846_2.png) [@Common\_Tater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Common_Tater)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/53 "2007-03-09T14:49:27Z")
Our galaxies’ main source of energy, the Sun, ceases photon emission during the period my lover is not in close temporal proximity to my location. My abode is in an undefined state. (and Mr. Withers clearly understands the scientific method, since this incongruity is endlessly repeatable, since “anytime she goes away”… (I should think running lyrics through language translators could be a lot of fun as well) ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/54 "2007-03-09T14:53:35Z")
Originally posted by **Common Tater** (I should think running lyrics through language translators could be a lot of fun as well) Today 08:34 AM I know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know, i know , i know , i know, i know, i know… ETA: I posted before Tater added Mr. Withers. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2007, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/55 "2007-03-09T18:03:34Z")
From Hair: I have no home You must be so I have no shoes You must be poor I have no money You must be, honey I have no class You must be common I have no scarf You must not be hot I have no gloves You miust be Cold You must be Beat I have no pot You must be Busted I have no faith You must be Catholic ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/56 "2007-03-10T21:44:17Z")
One of the (many) verses to the children’s classic “It ain’t gonna rain no more” goes > [@](#): > > Oh, it isn’t going to rain any more, any more > It isn’t going to rain any more > The grammar’s right, but it sure sounds trite > And also it’s a bore ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2007, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/57 "2007-03-10T22:15:55Z")
Some of you are conflating two different games. Fixing bad grammar is not the same as using more $10 words. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2007, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/58 "2007-03-10T23:52:19Z")
“Nobody does it half as well as you” which in my mind sounds better than the original. Trom the first time I heard it as the theme song for _The Spy who Loved Me_ I have hated the “Nobody does it half as good as you”. There is no reason for the good instead of the well other than illiteracy of the lyricist. It does not mess up any rhyme, internal or end. Nor does it foul up any beat. To my ear “well” flows into the next word even better than “good”. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/59 "2007-03-11T06:07:14Z")
A few oldies: I’m Not Behaving Badly Queensboro Bridge Song It’s Wonderful To Whom Can I Turn? The United States, the Beautiful I Can’t Buy Myself Love Jeremiah Was a _Ranidae catesbeiana._ He’s Not Overweight, He’s My Brother ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032/60 "2007-03-12T12:58:29Z")
[QUOTE=Hometownboy] It certainly seems to be funky at present. (James Brown) [/QUOTE] Is that the Pat Boone version? Isn’t Any Way (Aretha) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-grammarians-wrote-songs/395032.md?page=4)