# If GWB were to bitch-slap me. **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 27, 2002, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gwb-were-to-bitch-slap-me/145079 "2002-12-27T02:08:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gwb-were-to-bitch-slap-me/145079/1 "2002-12-27T02:08:28Z")
Impossible, I know. But play along for fun, ok? What if me’n ol’ Bill was sitting in a greasy spoon, eating cheeseburgers and sipping suds. Then George The Lesser came by, seen us, and got all jealous. So he dashes over and clobbers me (open-handed) across the face. I know the SS would be on me before I could possibly retaliate, so on what pretext would they hold me? Ain’t no way they could ever let me walk the streets, so what would happen to me? Especially seen’s there’d be a whole gaggle of witnesses. (Bill survives unhurt, but gives the greasy finger to the departing limo). There is a real question in there. 😉 Peace, mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gwb-were-to-bitch-slap-me/145079/2 "2002-12-27T02:17:28Z")
I suspect they’d detain you until all was stable, and then let you go, if they didn’t find any joints on you. ISTR President Ford’s motorcade running a red light with the Prez’ limo creaming a car whose occupants were faultless in the accident, but they, I believe, had some contraband and were arrested for that. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gwb-were-to-bitch-slap-me/145079/3 "2002-12-27T02:19:17Z")
Watch who you dine with. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gwb-were-to-bitch-slap-me/145079/4 "2002-12-27T02:19:23Z")
You’re sitting in a restaurant and GWB walks over and slaps your face, with no provocation? And you think the Secret Service would hold _you_? Like the KGB? Rush you away in a black limousine and you’d never be seen again? Wow. Um, why would you think that? Or are you more paranoid that we thought? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gwb-were-to-bitch-slap-me/145079/5 "2002-12-27T02:26:46Z")
They’d probably let you go. Shrub Boy, OTOH, would be guilty of assault and battery. That being a “high crime or misdemeanor,” you could start a campaign to have him impeached. (Hmmm…) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gwb-were-to-bitch-slap-me/145079/6 "2002-12-27T02:31:01Z")
[Bill Clennet](http://radio.cbc.ca/programs/asithappens/asithappened/asithappened_010218.html) can tell you what’s likely to happen to you if you get assaulted by a Head of State. (Chretien was never charged, but the government ponied up for the poor sap’s dental repair bill.) (Link has an article/interview from the day of the assault which requires VealPlayer to listen to.) ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gwb-were-to-bitch-slap-me/145079/7 "2002-12-27T03:01:50Z")
The President jealous of yo’ skanky ass? You ain’t all _that_ girlfriend. Real answer: You would be tasered, pepper sprayed and a brutal anal probing would be promised should you ever breath a word, even a whisper, of the “incident”. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gwb-were-to-bitch-slap-me/145079/8 "2002-12-27T03:09:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > (Link has an article/interview from the day of the assault which requires **VealPlayer** to listen to.) Where can I download _that_ from? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gwb-were-to-bitch-slap-me/145079/9 "2002-12-27T03:23:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JeffB \* > \*\*Where can I download _that_ from? \*\* [Veal Player Info](http://www.wnba.com/playerfile/kristen_veal/?nav=page) ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gwb-were-to-bitch-slap-me/145079/10 "2002-12-27T05:49:01Z")
DAMN! You almost made me spit out my Coke, **astro**! Good one. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Dickerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Scott\_Dickerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Dickerson)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gwb-were-to-bitch-slap-me/145079/11 "2002-12-27T18:25:30Z")
This thread was very confusing for me, as I thought GWB stood for Gay White Boy. No matter who’s “at fault,” the Secret Service is required to protect the President during an “altercation,” and will certainly do so. (Even if he doesn’t want to be–it isn’t optional.) No, I don’t think all sorts of conspiracy-esque things will happen to you. As Bush II is in the doghouse with the extreme right, you’ll probably get an offer from Regnery Press for your memoirs. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-gwb-were-to-bitch-slap-me/145079/12 "2002-12-28T22:48:08Z")
Gay White Boy? Not this guy, for sure. And I don’t know why one would think he’s in the doghouse. Oh, the _extreme_ right doghouse. Well, who isn’t. Really, I think the republicans are in for a tough one next election, and GWB is their only hope. So they’ll have to blame it all on someone else, including his unwarrented attack on this innocent citizen. If it were up to me, tho, I’d choose _this_ scenario; What if me’n ol’ Bill was sitting in a greasy spoon, eating cheeseburgers and sipping suds, when Jennifer Lopez run’s up and grab’s me by the hand and drag’s me off to a secret island and does unspeakable things to me. 😃 Would her entourage be likely to interfere?