# If humans could digest cellulose ...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [September 7, 2015, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298 "2015-09-07T21:56:28Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2015, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/1 "2015-09-07T21:56:28Z")
As a scientist I invent a bacteria that can live in the human gut and process cellulose for us. Yay! No more world hunger as everyone can eat grass and get glucose from it. I spray it all over the world so eventually everyone will have this bacteria in their system.
What are the unintended results?
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### Author:  [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2015, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/2 "2015-09-07T22:09:40Z")
Since this is not a factual question, let’s move it to IMHO.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
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### Author:  [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2015, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/3 "2015-09-07T22:14:19Z")
It isn’t just the bacteria you need, but an entire new anatomy. If you want to get sufficient nutrition from grass, you would have to eat enormous amounts of it and keep it in your stomach for a long time as it ferments. You would spend a lot more of your time eating and chewing. It would, however, fit in with the modern sedentary lifestyle.
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### Author:  [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2015, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/4 "2015-09-07T22:31:02Z")
The world’s sanitation departments will get greatly increased operating budgets.
Demand for fossil fuels as heating would plummet as due to the effects of having a an \*in vivo \*fermentation vat operating at around 39C (102F) .
Demand for perfumes and fragrances, after an initial colossal spike would collapse.
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### Author:  [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2015, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/5 "2015-09-07T22:37:11Z")
> [@penultima\_thule](#):
>
> The world’s sanitation departments will get greatly increased operating budgets.
Toilets would need to be redesigned to allow for greatly increased capacity. Presuming the same flush mechanism was used, demand for water would go up dramatically.
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### Author:  [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2015, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/6 "2015-09-07T22:53:18Z")
Trouser with fitted with rear flaps would go from \*haute couture \* to standard issue.
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### Author:  [@Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrogance_Ex_Machina)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2015, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/7 "2015-09-07T22:57:42Z")
I’ve read a scifi novel or a short story with this theme ages ago. Sadly I can’t remember the name, but I do remember the main result being hungry Africans eating everything and turning the whole continent into a desert.
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### Author:  [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2015, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/8 "2015-09-07T23:00:01Z")
Global warming would spike as humans began to release methane.
Home fires would increase, once people began to light their belches, accidentally and/or on purpose.
Possession of herbicides would get a lot more complex, legally and morally.
Explosions would become more common, as more people began to farm and, therefore, store nitrogen-based fertilizers in stupid conditions.
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### Author:  [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2015, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/9 "2015-09-08T00:20:19Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#):
>
> No more world hunger as everyone can eat grass and get glucose from it…
>
> What are the unintended results?
The price of grass goes up due to overwhelming demand. We end up paying what the market will bear, the same as we do now.
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### Author:  [@Octarine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Octarine)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2015, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/10 "2015-09-08T00:27:29Z")
It would be odd for a suburban home to have a lawn - like cultivating corn in your front yard.
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### Author:  [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2015, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/11 "2015-09-08T00:30:06Z")
This thread is cracking me up. We’d truly become \*\*\*SHEEPLE!!! \*\*\*
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### Author:  [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2015, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/12 "2015-09-08T00:31:20Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#):
>
> No more world hunger as everyone can eat grass and get glucose from it.
Grass tastes pretty bad, in my experience.
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### Author:  [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2015, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/13 "2015-09-08T00:53:28Z")
New restaurants would spring up, offering Kentucky bluegrass, tall fescue, ryegrass, Bermuda grass, with sweetgrass for dessert.
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### Author:  [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2015, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/14 "2015-09-08T01:40:43Z")
The job market for dentists would explode if you are imagining people actually consuming grass. Even cooked, grass is tough and abrasive and will require a lot of chewing. Human teeth would wear out fairly early in life on such a diet. Better to finely mill the cellulose material and mix it in with other foodstuffs as an extender.
Not to mention that lots of plants are distasteful or toxic and the ability to digest cellulose won’t change that.
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### Author:  [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2015, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/15 "2015-09-08T01:58:49Z")
There are a metric shitton of scientific discoveries that never go anywhere, but people are already working on this (although their work on breaking up and rebuilding cellulose is done in a lab and not in a person’s stomach).
> **[Could Wood Feed the World?](https://www.science.org/content/article/could-wood-feed-world)**
>
> Researchers develop way to turn inedible plants into food
No idea what the unintended consequence would be. A bushel of corn can support a person for about 2 months and costs about $4.
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### Author:  [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2015, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/16 "2015-09-08T02:14:28Z")
What was the name of ancient Greek philosopher who speculated about the possibility of people not needing food but being able to satisfy their hunger by looking at food and rubbing their stomach?
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### Author:  [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2015, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/17 "2015-09-08T02:18:36Z")
> [@CCitizen](#):
>
> What was the name of ancient Greek philosopher who speculated about the possibility of people not needing food but being able to satisfy their hunger by looking at food and rubbing their stomach?
Diogenes? I think he was being facetious because he was caught jacking off. I think he posts here too.
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### Author:  [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2015, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/18 "2015-09-08T02:26:07Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#):
>
> Diogenes? I think he was being facetious because he was caught jacking off. I think he posts here too.
I think it was Digestenes.
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### Author:  [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2015, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/19 "2015-09-08T02:30:39Z")
\>\> Diogenes?
Thanks – I will look him up.
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### Author:  [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)
#### Post date: [September 8, 2015, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-humans-could-digest-cellulose/730298/20 "2015-09-08T03:04:06Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#):
>
> I spray it all over the world so eventually everyone will have this bacteria in their system.
>
> What are the unintended results?
The chem trail nuts would finally be able to say “See, I told you so”. You would pave the road for all the other conspiracy theorists to get louder and nuttier.
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