# If I Eat A Lot Of Twinkies, Will I Decompose More Slowly?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-eat-a-lot-of-twinkies-will-i-decompose-more-slowly/126815>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [September 3, 2002, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-eat-a-lot-of-twinkies-will-i-decompose-more-slowly/126815 "2002-09-03T15:33:52Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2002, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-eat-a-lot-of-twinkies-will-i-decompose-more-slowly/126815/1 "2002-09-03T15:33:52Z")

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I happen to think that Hostess Twinkies are an ideal food. They are cheap, they don’t spoil, and they require no special preparation outside of chewing off the cellophane wrapper and discarding that little piece of cardboard. Consequently, I have probably eaten thousands of these over the course of my lifetime.

I’ve also heard that Twinkies are so loaded with preservatives that they have a shelf-life of several thousand years!

What effect will all of these preservatives have on me, if any? Do the digestive processes destroy them, or are they still floating around inside of me?? Will these preservatives affect my decomposition rate after I’m dead???

Thanks.

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**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2002, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-eat-a-lot-of-twinkies-will-i-decompose-more-slowly/126815/2 "2002-09-03T16:55:01Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> discarding that little piece of cardboard

You’re supposed to dispose of that?

😃