# If I ever want to redecorate my kitchen with a testicle theme, I've got it made! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 8, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997 "2005-11-08T02:09:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/1 "2005-11-08T02:09:08Z")
I need new dishes. But I don’t want to spend a fortune on them, because they will not stay a complete set for long. I would also like them to look nice in my kitchen. My kitchen is cobalt blue with a fruity theme. Last week I found a 16 piece set of stoneware, banded in cobalt blue, with “Golden Pears” in the center. And they were only $7.99 for the whole set! They were on clearence at an [outlet site](http://www.coboutlet.com/coboutlet/product/product_pr.asp?pf_id=73413&dept_id=7109&search_token=1) . But the shipping was $12.00 and I don’t really like stoneware. I thought about it for a few days, then my husband convinced me to go for it, (he wasn’t paying), because we’re running low on bowls. They arrived today. [ul] [li]Some of them are banded in cobalt, but most are light blue[/li][li]the cups have random marks all over them[/li][li]the blue bled into the white areas of some of the dishes[/li][li]The pears are NOT golden, but a fleshy pink[/li][li]They look like they were painted by several people, no 2 designs match[/li][li][They’re Balls!](http://img102.imageshack.us/img102/644/balls8ly.jpg) [/li][/ul] :smack: ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/2 "2005-11-08T02:11:19Z")
ROTFLMFAO !!! That has GOT to be one of the funniest things I have seen . EVER . ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/3 "2005-11-08T02:19:28Z")
My word… now those people who buy the plastic balls to hang off the trailer hitches on their pickup trucks know where they can register when they get married… ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/4 "2005-11-08T02:36:23Z")
When you want your kids to finish their dinner, you can say, “I wanna see balls, boys!” Those are priceless. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/5 "2005-11-08T02:49:16Z")
I guarantee you that with the proper spin, these would be a hot item on [a certain famous online auction site]. Just play up their camp appeal, appropriateness for gag gifts, erotic/racy/bad taste gifts, gay parties, batchlorette parties, etc. [Diane Wiest in _The Birdcage_]“Are these… little naked Greek boys? Are they playing leapfrog?”[/DW] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/6 "2005-11-08T02:51:24Z")
:smack: _bachelorette_. I was flummoxed by your dishes’ balls. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/7 "2005-11-08T02:59:33Z")
Holy Crap. Truly funny. 😃 On the site, under the picture, they have TELL YOUR FRIEND ABOUT THIS ITEM It was nice of you to spread the word. Where is the Spit take Smiley? ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/8 "2005-11-08T03:02:56Z")
Use them as a Rorshach test for your guests. Put them on the table without comment and see who notices and who dares to comment! Still, $20 to your door – can’t beat that! ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/9 "2005-11-08T03:27:08Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#): > > I guarantee you that with the proper spin, these would be a hot item on [a certain famous online auction site]. Just play up their camp appeal, appropriateness for gag gifts, erotic/racy/bad taste gifts, gay parties, batchlorette parties, etc. I’m seriously considering this… ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/10 "2005-11-08T04:33:19Z")
Looks like some little spermatazoa around the edges, too. How quaint. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/11 "2005-11-08T04:54:09Z")
[Tony the Tiger] Theeeeyyyy’rrrreeee scrotalicius!!! [/TtT] ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/12 "2005-11-08T05:23:25Z")
To let your husband know what you think of his choice in dishes the next time you have guests, when you finish your meal you need to pick up the plate and lick it slowly and throughly, while saying “MMMMM”. ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/13 "2005-11-08T07:02:48Z")
Serve Bratwurst. ---
**Author:** ![Habanero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d9b06d/32.png) [@Habanero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habanero)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/14 "2005-11-08T07:06:55Z")
That’s horrible. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/15 "2005-11-08T07:47:14Z")
Oh now that’s hilarious. A lot of times people tell you about these things but it’s a little bit of a stretch to see the offending image. Not so here. Damn. I want a set! ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/16 "2005-11-08T08:50:21Z")
They’re _perfect_! _tilts head sideways and squints_ Or maybe, they are the naked backs and bums of two people who were innocently sitting side by side, and were suddenly attacked by locusts? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/17 "2005-11-08T12:14:37Z")
Those plates are not legal to eat off of in Georgia. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/18 "2005-11-08T12:39:39Z")
About the testicular decoration scheme: Some historians think the famous [statue of Artemis from Ephesus](http://www.somaluna.com/product.asp?p=593&m=96) depicts Her festooned with the testicles taken from Her transsexual priestesses. Apart from that, I admit no other examples come to mind. (The usual interpretation of the statue is that She has many breasts.) ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/19 "2005-11-08T13:04:26Z")
Heh. She said _festooned_. Great word. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2005, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997/20 "2005-11-08T13:09:10Z")
I’ve had a craving for pears ever since I opened this thread. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ever-want-to-redecorate-my-kitchen-with-a-testicle-theme-ive-got-it-made/329997.md?page=2)