# If I fart on my houseplants, will that help alleviate the global warming problem? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 2, 2011, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-fart-on-my-houseplants-will-that-help-alleviate-the-global-warming-problem/584073 "2011-06-02T12:07:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-fart-on-my-houseplants-will-that-help-alleviate-the-global-warming-problem/584073/1 "2011-06-02T12:07:30Z")
Having a minor bout of flatulence this arvo, and sitting outside on my patio that is home to many pots of various green things, I got to wondering. Should one just fart into the air, or would it be better to direct the emissions towards a specific plant, so that they can convert the methane into oxygen immediately rather than have the fart just wander off into the ether? Enquiring bums want to know! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-fart-on-my-houseplants-will-that-help-alleviate-the-global-warming-problem/584073/2 "2011-06-02T12:27:32Z")
This really belongs in GQ. Or maybe GD, as it is one of the more important questions of our time. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-fart-on-my-houseplants-will-that-help-alleviate-the-global-warming-problem/584073/3 "2011-06-02T14:02:42Z")
Yes, and if you inhale deeply near your houseplants, it will prevent oxygen deficiency. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-fart-on-my-houseplants-will-that-help-alleviate-the-global-warming-problem/584073/4 "2011-06-02T14:14:31Z")
Alas, plants don’t metabolize methane from the air, and while one’s toots do also contain carbon dioxide, the rate of uptake just isn’t that fast. Have you got any neighbors you dislike? You could treat them to a tush trumpet solo in BMinor instead 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-fart-on-my-houseplants-will-that-help-alleviate-the-global-warming-problem/584073/5 "2011-06-02T14:35:18Z")
Gas me, Seymour, gas me all night long You can do it! Gas me, Seymour, gas me all night long Cause if you gas me, Seymour I can grow up big and strong! (Audrey Phew, Little Shop of Vapors) ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-fart-on-my-houseplants-will-that-help-alleviate-the-global-warming-problem/584073/6 "2011-06-02T14:42:01Z")
I’m getting a bit worried about this obsession of yours with talking about gas lately. I pray for your soul. And your houseplants soul. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-fart-on-my-houseplants-will-that-help-alleviate-the-global-warming-problem/584073/7 "2011-06-02T15:01:35Z")
Well, when she reinvents herself as The Flatulator and starts a countrywide houseplant-gassing spree, no one can say they didn’t see it coming. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-fart-on-my-houseplants-will-that-help-alleviate-the-global-warming-problem/584073/8 "2011-06-02T18:15:39Z")
In response to Bum Thunder From Down Under: I doubt farting on your houseplants will have much effect. But if you want to train your dog not to jump up on the furniture, a strategic emission might just do the trick. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-fart-on-my-houseplants-will-that-help-alleviate-the-global-warming-problem/584073/9 "2011-06-03T06:46:31Z")
Taking talking to houseplants to a whole new level. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-fart-on-my-houseplants-will-that-help-alleviate-the-global-warming-problem/584073/10 "2011-06-03T10:13:12Z")
Would a single other Doper of the female persuasion, other than **Kam** , post on this topic? I think not 😉