# If I gave you $20... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 27, 2006, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441 "2006-04-27T13:05:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/21 "2006-04-27T15:10:55Z")
I think I’d get me a nice manicure. Thank you! ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/22 "2006-04-27T15:11:20Z")
If you gave me $20 . . . . . . I’d use it to start sending stuff home via the USPS. It was 92d Farenheit today. What the hell am I going to do with five sets of long johns? Tripler Shoot, I don’t even know anyone named “John” around here. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/23 "2006-04-27T15:17:28Z")
Get a bus pass. And say thank you. And offer you a free smile, too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/24 "2006-04-27T15:19:05Z")
I’d buy you a green dress at the thrift store. (But not a real green dress—that’s cruel.) ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/25 "2006-04-27T15:50:35Z")
I’d pay someone to move this over to IMHO. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/26 "2006-04-27T15:57:07Z")
Take it and my 30% off coupon to Borders and buy a new hardcover… (ah the joy) Thanks!!! ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/27 "2006-04-27T16:10:08Z")
I’d buy a new butt because mine has a crack in it. ---
**Author:** ![Tamryne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@Tamryne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamryne)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/28 "2006-04-27T16:27:49Z")
Id buy the book Im missing for class (Moses and Monotheism, by Freud), eat some non-dorm food, and buy some cheap dog treats for the puppies at the SPCA. Or get my hair cut like Ive needed to do for the past month and a half. Oh, the life of a college student! ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/29 "2006-04-27T16:28:36Z")
I’d buy two o’ them new weird tens everyone is talkin’ about. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/30 "2006-04-27T18:16:09Z")
So… pay my mortgage. Due to Mrs. Slant thinking that Mr. Slant saying, “Yes, okay, I’ll pay you back for those tickets,” meant that he was going to pay her immediately and out of the “mortgage money” that Mr. Slant had loaned to her to pay her medical liability insurance on promise of repayment from Mother-in-Slant. Mr. and Mrs. Slant probably need a “communicating for couples” class or UN-appointed mediator to help with their communication skills. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/31 "2006-04-27T18:32:51Z")
First, I woud thank you profusely. Then I would probably go see American Dreamz and buy a big ol’ popcorn and large drink. The couple bucks left over, I would just hang on to till I need some little thing from the store. ---
**Author:** ![Iris\_Rings](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d78d45/32.png) [@Iris\_Rings](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iris_Rings)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/32 "2006-04-27T18:40:12Z")
Buy gas. You save 45¢ when you pay cash. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/33 "2006-04-27T18:41:56Z")
Go to the movies with the **jillelope**. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/34 "2006-04-27T18:43:35Z")
Why don’t you try it and see? ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/35 "2006-04-27T18:46:21Z")
Give you a blow job? (Do I win?) ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/36 "2006-04-27T18:47:45Z")
[QUOTE=PunditLisa] Give you a blow job? (Do I win?) [/QUOTE] Well you’re the first one who got me to laugh out loud in the office. That’s for damn sure. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/37 "2006-04-27T18:48:05Z")
Is this a contest to see who can come up with the cleverest answer, to whom you will actually give 20 bucks? I think that’s the implication here, right? Yes, yes it is. So if you gave me 20 bucks, I would bring about world peace. I would accomplish this by sharing my love and joy with everyone I come across. By being respectful and courteous to others, and understanding of their problems - without belittling their struggles nor judging their preferences. Then I would spend the 20 on pizza. ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/38 "2006-04-27T18:53:45Z")
Say thanks and put it in the bank towards my camera fund. Or buy beer. Finals are coming up and I’m stressed…20 bucks would get me 40 Pabst’s! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/39 "2006-04-27T18:58:16Z")
[QUOTE=PunditLisa] Give you a blow job? (Do I win?) [/QUOTE] Um. I’ve got four wrinkled Washingtons. Can I get a hug? ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441/40 "2006-04-27T19:44:28Z")
I never want to see “blow job” and “wrinkled Washington” in the same post again. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-gave-you-20/354441.md?page=3)