# If I had a million dollars...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [April 13, 2001, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836 "2001-04-13T13:59:25Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/1 "2001-04-13T13:59:25Z")
Let’s say you were sitting on a park bench. Out of the blue, a piece of paper floats off the breeze and lands in your lap.
Upon exmaination, it’s a cashier’s check. It’s made out to YOU. It’s for a million dollars.
Aside from the obvious (cashing it, depositing it), what is the first thing you would do with that money?
For me, I would pay every single bill I have. House, cars, credit cards. Zero debt. NONE. Then, I would buy a corvette.
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### Author:  [@frobozz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frobozz)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/2 "2001-04-13T14:10:14Z")
I would immediately begin abusing my wealth. I would go out of my way to have fun at other people’s expense.
I’ll go to the local bank to open a checking account and be a total cretin, because they won’t want to throw me out if I’m depositing $1,000,000. I would stop random people on the street and say, “I’ll give you $1,000 to roll around in that mud puddle over there.” I’ll conspicuously light my fine cigars with $100 bills. Why would anyone do such things, you ask? Because I CAN! 😃
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### Author:  [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/3 "2001-04-13T14:15:51Z")
“But not a real green dress, that’s cruel!”
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### Author:  [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/4 "2001-04-13T14:21:11Z")
How about that, I was thinking about that this morning in the shower.
My parents would make me use it intelligently. You know, pay for everything for college that isn’t covered by my scholarship, set myself up in a nice place to live, stuff like that.
I’d want to buy a kick-ass car (Superbird! Big frickin’ wing! Petty blue!) _and_ a motorcycle (I’m not man enough for a Harley. I’d get a bright red riceburner), and take myself and two friends on a trip to a racing school, and go to Daytona for all of Speedweeks, and get myself some nice cowboy boots.
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### Author:  [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/5 "2001-04-13T14:34:58Z")
I’d put about a quarter of it in the bank. With the rest, I’d buy a $750,000 house, and with any luck, rent it out until I’m ready to move into it myself. 🙂
(Kayeby likes big houses with big gardens for doggies to play in)
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### Author:  [@VanLandry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VanLandry)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/6 "2001-04-13T14:43:13Z")
I like the response from Peter’s neighbor in “Office Space”.
Peter - “What would you do with a million dollars?”
neighbor - “Two chicks at the same time.”
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### Author:  [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/7 "2001-04-13T14:48:58Z")
[li] Pay the bills.[/li][li] Buy a house.[/li][li] Run amok in the bookstores and fabric stores.[/li][li] Buy a Lotto ticket (hey you never know…).[/li]
**JC** , that’s the first thing I thought when I read the title!
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/8 "2001-04-13T14:50:17Z")
Same answer as I always give when this question comes up: I’d buy my own helicopter so I wouldn’t have to rent any more.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/9 "2001-04-13T15:10:47Z")
once all the bills are paid, I’d hire someone to finish the teak work on our boat… and the painting… and the reupholstering… Then hubby and I would drop dock lines and cruise away.
Ah, sweet reverie…
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### Author:  [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/10 "2001-04-13T15:19:22Z")
Charter **FairyChatMom** ’s boat
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### Author:  [@waxteeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waxteeth)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/11 "2001-04-13T15:38:51Z")
If I had a million dollars I’d spend it all.
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### Author:  [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/12 "2001-04-13T15:54:46Z")
Okay, after I paid off every bill I have, I’d do the following:
1. Buy myself a house
2. Buy myself my dream car, and have it restored (69 Camaro)
3. Contract to have a recording studio built as an addition to house.
4. Rent studio out to local bands to be able to record/produce their demos, under a signed agreement that .02 of every sale goes to the studio, and another .05 is donated to charity.
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### Author:  [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/13 "2001-04-13T16:42:57Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by waxteeth \*
> \*\*
> If I had a million dollars I’d spend it all. \*\*
Don’t think I didn’t get that…
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### Author:  [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/14 "2001-04-13T16:51:10Z")
I would do the normal boring stuff of paying off ALL my bills. Buy a house. Save for my kids education. Fix up my dream car, which is parked in my garage right now, collecting cobwebs. Then I’d like to take three vacations…one with TD and the kids, one with JUST TD, and one with my sis, who I seldom see anymore, but I miss her. Or maybe just offer my sis a little $ for her to pay off her college loans, and let me hang with her for a week. (She’s not allowed to dress me like a moron this time though…I will bring many shoes!)
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### Author:  [@passerby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/passerby)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/15 "2001-04-13T17:21:21Z")
I have no outstanding bills or loans 🙂 so…
I’d put all my stuff in storage, return my rented apartment, and go on a looong trip around the world. Maybe I’ll plan my itinerary to coincide with all the dopefests everywhere, I hear they get pretty wild 🙂
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### Author:  [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/16 "2001-04-13T18:39:19Z")
Visit all the dopers in the world, alphabeticaly.
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### Author:  [@waxteeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waxteeth)
#### Post date: [April 13, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/17 "2001-04-13T23:56:59Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \*
> \*\*Don’t think I didn’t get that… \*\*
😃
I wondered if that would slip by.
I think about the what if $$$$$$$$$ thing all the time. After all the dreaming I get honest with myself and I’m always left with that line.
“I’d spend it all”
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### Author:  [@gypsybiker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gypsybiker)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/18 "2001-04-14T00:03:15Z")
1. buy a house
2. buy a new Dodge Viper
3. buy MV Agusta motorcycle
basicly have as much fun as my soul could stand.
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### Author:  [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/19 "2001-04-14T00:15:45Z")
What do you mean _IF_ I had a million dollars?
::smug, self-satisfied grin::
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### Author:  [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/20 "2001-04-14T03:49:02Z")
1. Pay off the mortgage, the minivan, and all the bills.
2. Buy me one of them there new Subaru Impreza WRXs to use as my commuter car (Yeah, of course I’d still keep my job).
3. Finally buy Playstation 2.
4. Slap voguevixen silly for being so smug.
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