# If I had a million dollars... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 13, 2001, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836 "2001-04-13T13:59:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/41 "2001-04-15T05:42:50Z")
First, I’d buy a really big bed. Then, I’d get everything that was left in cash, in denominations of oohhh… say, hundreds. Then I’d pile it all on the bed, get naked, and roll around in it for days, ordering in food, answering the door naked, and giving REAL big tips. I cant believe I’m the first one to mention that! ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/42 "2001-04-15T05:44:26Z")
Oh, and after that would come a house, which would be outfitted with a full Armoury. And then would come the weapons. oohhhhhhh, the weapons… Oh, yeah, and bills and food and whatnot… ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/43 "2001-04-15T05:56:35Z")
I’d burn it. HA! No, I’d get a nice house, and hire a maid, chauffer, and gardener to take care of it while I just bummed around having the kind of mundane fun I already do now, only in luxury. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/44 "2001-04-15T07:42:02Z")
1. Lasik surgery 2. Bitching computer system 3. A kick-ass hot tub and pizza party for all you Straight Dopers. This is my 3000th post, and I love the whole lot of you more now than ever. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/45 "2001-04-15T08:07:17Z")
I’d buy your love. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/46 "2001-04-15T13:41:39Z")
Hmmmmmmm… \*Pay off my mom’s mortgage, etc. and save money for tuition for my seinor year & college \*Buy myself a souped up car from the 40s-50s \*Get supplies to make a ton of clothing, mostly period costumes and cute little outfits that are cheaper to make than buy \*Save the rest [if there is any left] for insurance for the car and what needs may come up in the future ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/47 "2001-04-15T14:09:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FireUnderpantsBoobs \* > \*\*How many of us were planning on saying “but not a real green dress…” until we read that **Jonathan Chance** already did? I know I was. > > Darn you, **Jonathan**! And your little dog, too! \*\* Hey, my dogs weigh a combined 170 pounds! Darn them at your own risk! How often do I get to be the first on the pile? I took it with no shame or malice aforethought! Now, I’m just crushed here with all these people piled on top of me wishing they’d got here first! URK! ---
**Author:** ![Darqangelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecccb3/32.png) [@Darqangelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darqangelle)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/48 "2001-04-15T14:55:05Z")
Well… a house in the bay area is RIGHT out… ---
**Author:** ![Winkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/41988e/32.png) [@Winkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winkie)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/49 "2001-04-15T23:48:12Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Jonathan Chance_ > “O For Christ’s Sake!!!” WELLLLL! (okay, I just had to pile on.) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/50 "2001-04-16T13:37:20Z")
Nothing. I’d stash almost all of it away. Mrs. RickJay and I would buy a nice, small condo, well furnished, maybe take a trip, but my intent would be to put at least three quarters of it away in nice, safe investments. And then fifteen years from now, when it’s $2 million, I have some real fun! ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836/51 "2001-04-16T14:24:51Z")
Hmmmm, Someone in **Jacksonville** had the winning ticket for the $13 million Lotto jackpot. And I see **FairyChatMom** hasn’t posted here since after Saturday (the night of the drawing). Coincidence? Think she might have gotten the boat finsihed that fast? Should we send out the Coast Guard? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-a-million-dollars/61836.md?page=2)