# If I had known that a $5 haircut would get so many women fawning over me... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 18, 2017, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934 "2017-08-18T02:05:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/1 "2017-08-18T02:05:48Z")
It was a simple Numero Ocho clipper all over. I just wanted most of my hair gone. It was still a mess after the cut and a wash, with hair poking everywhere, so I hauled out the ol’ Vitalis and slicked it back. Then I added a bit of a wave in front, but not too Fifties. Add in my new clothes from my weight loss and you’d think I was [Tab Hunter.](https://parade.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/tabhunterconfidential_005_Tab_Zipup_Sweater.jpg) Except fatter and straighter with less smouldering. Reactions have ranged from effusive compliments to nurses dragging in other nurses to see the transformed me. My MD hasn’t seen me like this yet, but I expect more of her “You’re looking a lot less Skid Row,” when I do see her. (You guys know me; how could I not fall for someone so snarky?) The problem is that I need to maintain this, or even improve on it, but these five-buck (sawbuck w/tip) haircuts will drive me to the poorhouse. Alas, such is the price of glamour! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/2 "2017-08-18T03:08:37Z")
Nope, that new rolleyes doesn’t communicate enough sarcasm. Or how bemused and amused I am by the attention. It’s new, and I know it’s primarily a reaction to how different–ie: less Skid Row–I look when I make the slightest effort. I’m still a geeky tub-o-lard, just one who is better dressed. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/3 "2017-08-18T03:56:31Z")
So you’re one of those metrosexuals now, like Raj on TBBT? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/4 "2017-08-18T04:01:18Z")
Women go crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/5 "2017-08-18T12:21:23Z")
Number 8??? Damned hippie!! I buzz my spousal unit’s head with a #1. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/6 "2017-08-18T17:19:31Z")
Am I too fancy because my barbers use scissors? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2017, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/7 "2017-08-18T17:35:05Z")
Cheapest haircut round these parts are $8. But you gotta drive pretty far. The close place is $12, but they sometimes have a sale for $10. So you got it made! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2017, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/8 "2017-08-19T00:18:59Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Number 8??? Damned hippie!! I buzz my spousal unit’s head with a #1. 😛 I like SOME hair, because I have it. Buzzes and shaves are for guys who start out half shaved. 😉 I learned how to fix bad haircuts because my mom cut mine until I was 12. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2017, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/9 "2017-08-19T00:26:21Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Number 8??? Damned hippie!! I buzz my spousal unit’s head with a #1. 😛 Heck, I didn’t even know the numbers went that high! I used to do a 2, then a 1, and now I just don’t bother using any clipper guard. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2017, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/10 "2017-08-19T00:34:36Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > I like SOME hair, because I have it. Buzzes and shaves are for guys who start out half shaved. 😉 So you’ve met my other half… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2017, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/11 "2017-08-19T15:46:30Z")
Yeah. At our age if you’ve still got most of it you flaunt it. Nothing says “I’m at least half bald” like either a bad toupe or a shaved head on somebody over age 25. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2017, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/12 "2017-08-19T19:18:32Z")
Better than the tonsure by a long shot. Besides, when I shaved all of it off pre-SWMBO I used to get much more attention at the bar. That’s likely not as much a thing as I see lots of guys with shorn locks these days. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2017, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/13 "2017-08-19T19:45:15Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Number 8??? Damned hippie!! I buzz my spousal unit’s head with a #1. 😛 The Spousal Unit doesn’t like me with short hair. Last time, I warned her I was going to have it cut short. I got a #3 on the sides, and about an inch on top. If I had my way, I’d have a #2 on the sides and a #4 on top. Then it would look good for months. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2017, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-had-known-that-a-5-haircut-would-get-so-many-women-fawning-over-me/793934/14 "2017-08-21T07:57:09Z")
I cut mine every 6 months or so, whether it needs it or not. Women always noticed and remark right after a cut, which I do myself with kitchen scissors looking in the mirror.