# If I hear a "Novelty" ringtone again, I'm going to kill someone. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 20, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880 "2006-01-20T20:17:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/1 "2006-01-20T20:17:27Z")
Am I alone here? Maybe I’m an asshole, maybe I’m not “with it”, maybe I have no taste… But those ringtones, not just Crazy Frog, or such shite, but the “Not endorsed by any celebrity” ringtone, with retards doing bad Borat/ Austin Powers/ Little Britain etc. impressions… Surely they are the cream of the crap? “Yakshemash! Please answer your phone!” “Yeah baby, your phone is ringing!! Shall we answer now, or answer later?” Is it possible to have such a ringtone on your mobile phone, and NOT be a total cretin? Whenever such an atrocity goes off, I’m superfly TNT… I could just grab the guys phone, crush it in my hand, then beat the living mucus out of the guy for being such a lame piece of shit. If, that is, the owner of the offending phone did not look so embarresed every time his phone rings. Honestly; any time you hear a phone go off with an atrocious tone, the owner always goes crimson, as if mortally embarresed by his lameness. Bit of advice buddy; you can delete that ringtone, or just choose another. I know you thought it was funny when you heard it on the telly, and I know you texted the number and chose to recieve it, unwittingly subscribing to a money-sucking text scam such as Jamster, and now you have it on your phone and its probably cost you fifty bucks trying to text “stop” to the 57\*\*\* number to cancel the subscription thats bleeding you dry, but seriously, is this the image you want to present to people… Sweety the Fucking Chick? I’d love to say its just kids. But GROWN MEN AND WOMEN seem to be the largest culprits. Is this what its come to? Is this our great struggle? What ringtone we use on our phones? What ringtone defines us as a person? This is what we class as entertainment? The sound of a frog intercut with the themetune to an Eddie Murphy movie from twenty years ago? Seriously, this is a part of current pop culture that needs to be irradicated, now. If you must customise your phone, at least try to be original. Use the phones recording abilities to record a unique sound, something that means a lot to you, or something that makes you smile each time you hear it. Something (and this is the important part) that does not make the people surrounding you want to BLUDGEON YOU TO DEATH. Then set this sound as your ringtone. Now, you can relax that you have your very own, one of a kind tone. So when someone else has the “What, you deaf? Pick up the phone? Uh, pick up the phone, yeah?” tone, you dont have to run out and feed more money into the Jamster machine to be “Cool” again. IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/2 "2006-01-20T20:19:22Z")
My ringtone is called “vibrate”. It seems to annoy nobody. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/3 "2006-01-20T20:44:21Z")
See, now, if all your OPs were like this people would like you better and stop telling you to shut up. ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/4 "2006-01-20T20:55:47Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > See, now, if all your OPs were like this people would like you better and stop telling you to shut up. Yeah, I had to change the thread title from “your ringtone sucks you FUCKSTICK!!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/5 "2006-01-20T21:01:31Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > My ringtone is called “vibrate”. It seems to annoy nobody. But do _ **you** _ like it? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/6 "2006-01-20T21:02:59Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > But do _ **you** _ like it? > > 😃 Call me. While I shift the phone to my front pocket… ---
**Author:** ![Mint\_Julep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc79bd/32.png) [@Mint\_Julep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mint_Julep)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/7 "2006-01-20T21:04:02Z")
Do not come to my office. A grown man here has that SUPER ANNOYING one that in a child like cartoon character voice goes, “Excuse me…Excuse me!” We all told him his man card was revoked and Gonad Fairy was gonna pay him a visit to reposses what little balls he has left. ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/8 "2006-01-20T21:12:43Z")
> [@Mint Julep](#): > > Do not come to my office. > > A grown man here has that SUPER ANNOYING one that in a child like cartoon character voice goes, “Excuse me…Excuse me!” > > We all told him his man card was revoked and Gonad Fairy was gonna pay him a visit to reposses what little balls he has left. Ye Gods. It is as I feared; the plague has spread. i had hoped that this type of thing was a european phenomenon, that had not spread to the states, like the virus in 28 days later… I had hoped that most dopers would post “Man, whats bubastis talkind about now? What ringtone?” Unfortunatley, this is not the case… ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/9 "2006-01-20T21:20:28Z")
Humm - I have _I want to be sedated_ by the Ramones as my ring tone. I hope no one want’s to kill me. On the other hand, I like it, so meh. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/10 "2006-01-20T23:43:18Z")
I _hate_ those stupid things. I know we are all going to disagree on the merits of cell phone ringtones, but I know we can all agree that an actual song is better than that goddamn little frog thing singing/ bad (LOUD) celebrity impressions. For what it’s worth, my ringtones are: Brown Eyed Girl, Little Red Corvette, and Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue …what? 🙂 When I’m out, my ringer is set pretty low, so I doubt anyone but my hears them; when I’m home, I crank it up. Brown Eyed Girl and Little Red Corvette make me dance, while Courtesy makes me laugh every single time. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2006, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/11 "2006-01-20T23:46:07Z")
Just be glad you don’t work for a cell phone manufacturer. These people tend to have fancy phones they just can’t live without. Meetings are peppered with various beeps and ringtones. I haven’t heard anything REALLY annoying, like actual words or anything (just instrumental tunes) but the sheer volume of them still pisses me off. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/12 "2006-01-21T00:27:55Z")
I apparently can’t get ringtones into a Mac, but I’m thinking one or more versions of the classic [NBC Chimes](http://www.nbcchimes.info) might be tasteful. [This one](http://www.nbcchimes.info/sounds/chimes20051931.mp3)’s my favorite. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/13 "2006-01-21T01:21:06Z")
> [@bubastis](#): > > Is it possible to have such a ringtone on your mobile phone, and NOT be a total cretin? My ringtone is very similar to [this](http://xgsm.ringtone-logo-game.com/3-025/uk_en/1/1134/french-phone.html). Am I out of the line of fire? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/14 "2006-01-21T01:25:26Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > I apparently can’t get ringtones into a Mac, but I’m thinking one or more versions of the classic [NBC Chimes](http://www.nbcchimes.info) might be tasteful. [This one](http://www.nbcchimes.info/sounds/chimes20051931.mp3)’s my favorite. Three chimes mean _good times_ on NBC. [/OTR nerd] I think that’s unobtrusive enough. As “novelty” as I’m willing to go is that little “blip-bloop _bleeeeet_” of _24_’s CTU phones. Can’t find it, though, so my phone just rings like a… phone. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/15 "2006-01-21T03:03:07Z")
One of my coworkers has a different ringtone on his phone every week. He never, ever, ever shuts the damn thing off during our staff meetings. Last week he just let it ring and ring and FUCKING RINGRINGDINGYDINGDINGDANGDONG. Sorry. Deep breath. Everybody (literally) was staring at him. He just held his phone and looked up, said “What? I can’t stop it.” Yes you can. Put the damn thing on “silent” or “vibrate” like EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON on the team with the EXACT SAME PHONE (company-issued Blackberrys) manages to do. Anyhow he goes for really annoying ringtones. I think the worst one so far was the old-fashioned telephone bell (that loud clanging sound, anyone over the age of 30 knows it well) at a high volume. Maybe I’ll change my ringtone to scream out “Shut your phone off Ernie!”, distribute it to the team and make sure that we all get lots of calls at the next meeting 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/16 "2006-01-21T03:14:28Z")
> [@Valgard](#): > > I think the worst one so far was the old-fashioned telephone bell (that loud clanging sound, anyone over the age of 30 knows it well) at a high volume. Yep, that’s the one I have. Thanks. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/17 "2006-01-21T04:15:05Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > As “novelty” as I’m willing to go is that little “blip-bloop _bleeeeet_” of _24_’s CTU phones. . How to make everyone in a 10 foot radius shit their pants, and not really know why… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/18 "2006-01-21T04:37:42Z")
> [@Valgard](#): > > Anyhow he goes for really annoying ringtones. I think the worst one so far was the old-fashioned telephone bell (that loud clanging sound, anyone over the age of 30 knows it well) at a high volume. Sorry dude, that’s the one I use and I don’t plan on changing anytime soon. When my phone rings, I know it’s my phone. I don’t need to listen to a poor quality simulation of whatever hip-hop/bubblegum song is popular that hour to figure out if it’s my phone or someone else’s. [Old fart] That clanging was good enough for me! When I was young that’s what a phone sounded like. And we liked it! Dang-gummit, we loved it!![/OF] ---
**Author:** ![samudra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@samudra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samudra)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/19 "2006-01-21T04:41:43Z")
I’m convinced that Cingular put irritating standard ringtones on my cell phone in a effort to make me buy upgraded ring tones. There’s just no actual “politely ring” or “politely beep” setting. It’s all Disco!, Clubbin!, Futuristico! So, being extremely cheap (and lazy), I have it set to this weirdo beach party music. Sorry if I offend. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2006, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880/20 "2006-01-21T04:41:52Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Humm - I have _I want to be sedated_ by the Ramones as my ring tone. I’d like to have “Too Drunk To Fuck”, if only to piss off the hardcore DK fans. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-a-novelty-ringtone-again-im-going-to-kill-someone/340880.md?page=2)